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<title>Blog Posts from the Really Good Thinking</title> 
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.co.uk</link> 
  <description>Blog Posts from the Really Good Thinking</description> 
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  <title>The amazing power of story with Michael Margolis from GetStoried.com</title>
  <description><![CDATA[
Picture credit: Get Storied

Story, Storytelling, Personal Reinvention and Beyond.
&nbsp;



&nbsp;
Part One&nbsp;



&nbsp;
Powerful ideas on story and storytelling for change makers and those looking for an effective personal and social reinvention tool.&nbsp; You'll love this outstanding stuff from Michael Margolis, president of Get Storied.&nbsp;
Find related stuff on Twitter:&nbsp; @GetStoried #Story10 #Reinvention @ianaspin
Thank you Michael for taking the time to share your story. 
&nbsp;
Part Two


&nbsp;
Michael Margolis and I explore our own stories of how the power of narrative and social networks helped us blast through isolation and loneliness to personal reinvention.&nbsp; 
Plus, you'll discover how&nbsp;storytelling reveals our "hidden lines of connection", makes us stronger and more effective, and how we can change our story to shape our future.&nbsp; It's all powerful stuff.&nbsp; 
I can't wait to bring you part three shortly.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

&nbsp;
Reinvention Summit: 2-week Virtual Conference on the Future of Storytelling, Nov 11-22, 2010.

We are gathering a new tribe of storytellers: change-makers, marketers, entrepreneurs, and creatives who see storytelling as critical to their work and mission. 
There’s a star-studded line-up of three dozen speakers with diverse backgrounds to lead teleseminars, interviews, and panel discussions that relate to the future of storytelling as our world goes through reinvention. 
All sessions are recorded for playback. The online summit includes lots of social networking, collaboration, and crowd-sourcing for those who feel inspired to play. 
Entry-level pricing starts at just $11.11. Come join 6 co-creators, 18 partners, 37 speakers, 54 producers, and hundreds of participants. 
To learn more: visit www.reinventionsummit.com
&nbsp;

&nbsp;
Michael Margolis, president of Get Storied, has organized a list of speakers to present summit content and engage people across disciplines. Speakers include:

John Gerzema, president BrandAsset Consulting, Young &amp; Rubicam 
Tiffany Shlain, founder, Webby Awards, and doc/cultural filmmaker 
John Elkington, pioneer of corporate social responsibility/sustainability 
Nancy Duarte, author, Slideology and Resonate: Present Visual Stories 
Julien Smith, co-author, Trust Agents, pioneering podcaster
A full list of speakers is available at www.reinventionsummit.com/speakers 
WHEN: Nov. 11 through 22, 2010 (with sessions recorded for playback)
WHERE: Online at www.reinventionsummit.com with costs starting at $11.11 and offering 30+ hours of content, online collaboration, and bonus downloadable materials.
WHY: Against the backdrop of the nation’s recession and quickly changing communications, many organizations and individuals experience the need to reinvent themselves, their campaigns, and their engagement strategies. A longtime storytelling consultant, Margolis focuses on the power of narrative — the most basic and emotionally resonant form of human communication.


&nbsp;
Get the Storytelling Manifesto www.believemethebook.com
&nbsp;



&nbsp;
I always love hearing your thoughts. Please do let me know how you use story and storytelling in your own life. Are you going through personal reinvention? What does it mean for you? I appreciate your comments. Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=83</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 9 Nov 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS83</guid>
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  <title>A Daring Adventure - Video Chat with Tim Brownson Parts 1 and 2</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; ADaringAdventure.com
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Tim Brownson is an English certified Life Coach, Master Practitioner and author now living in Orlando, Florida. He is currently involved in a huge project to giveaway 1,000,000 copies of How To Be Rich and Happy.
Part one:&nbsp; We talk about getting off the treadmill of unconscious living, re-framing our thoughts, and how positivity can transform our lives.
Plus, Tim takes my amazing "proper Englishman" test, but does he pass?
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
We referred to Bob Poole (my "Listen First, Sell Later" chat with Bob is here)&nbsp;from www.pooleswatercooler.com Jordan Cooper from www.notaproblog.com Dan Ariely&nbsp;from www.danariely.com 
Part Two:&nbsp; In this video we talk about changing our thinking, thought associations, and getting real about our online connections.
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Tim referred to Bob Poole from www.pooleswatercooler.com &amp; Naomi Dunford www.ittybiz.com 
Thanks very much to Tim for taking the time to chat. 
&nbsp; 
Thanks for watching.&nbsp; I always appreciate hearing your thoughts.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=82</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 1 Nov 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS82</guid>
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  <title>The ONLY absolutely unshakeable system that can save us and reboot the world.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; We all have our own&nbsp;mental pictures&nbsp;of what giveacrapanomics looks like.

With a nod in the direction of&nbsp;Don Tapscott and Anthony D. Williams of MacroWikinomics two people who are leading the way to rebooting the world.
Giveacrapanomics is about massive, action-packed caring.&nbsp; 
It can be summed up in three words;&nbsp; Relationships.&nbsp; Relationships.&nbsp; Relationships.
There’s nothing more.&nbsp; Care for our relationship to each other, to the planet, and to the spiritual dimension.
We can do nowt on our own.&nbsp; We need each other.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
These eleven absolutely unbreakable commandments for connecting with people online and off are what giveacrapanomics is all about.
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
I'd love to hear what you imagine when you think of giveacrapanomics.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.&nbsp;
&nbsp;Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=81</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 1 Nov 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS81</guid>
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  <title>Eleven absolutely unbreakable commandments for connecting with people, online and off.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; MontyPython
&nbsp;
11 Social Content Commandments to Paint on Every Wall in Your Home and Work Place.
&nbsp;
I could write a fancy introduction to ease us into these, but never mind that, I’ll just jump right in.
&nbsp;
1)&nbsp; We’ve gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta care.
It’s the foundation for every kind of success in dealing with people (and everything else!). We’ve got to work out exactly what caring means for the people we want to connect with.
Caring.&nbsp; Caring.&nbsp; Caring.&nbsp; 
Figure out how to care for others, meet their needs, and say hello to a world of amazing possibilities. These exclusive treasures are closed to our non-caring counterparts.&nbsp; 
Warning:&nbsp; we can't fake it for long.&nbsp; We'll be exposed faster than a string vest dries on a windy washing line.
And remember, there’s an unbelievable return on caring.&nbsp; 
Reboot the world?&nbsp; Caring will do it!&nbsp; Ask Don Tapscott and Anthony D. Williams of MacroWikinomics!
Financial rewards?&nbsp; Absolutely.&nbsp; (Who isn't gonna want to deal with people who care about their customers, employer, co-workers, products,&nbsp;services, and the bigger picture, while&nbsp;making things great?)
I call the relationship between caring and its results “giveacrapanomics”.

Picture credit:&nbsp; QThomasBower
2)&nbsp; Know you’re not the centre of the universe.
You’re one of 6,845,609,960 people on our planet today (I’m so popular more than 0.001% of them follow me on Twitter tha knows!).
Think how many are outstandingly talented, geniuses even.&nbsp; That’s a heck of a lot of people who are more talented than you or I!
And&nbsp;though we're but a speck of dust, and the universe doesn't revolve around us or depend on us, I still choose to believe we matter (even when we produce rubbish blog posts or talk crap!).
3)&nbsp; Realise if we want to get attention we have lots and lots of competition.
Nearly two billion people use the internet.&nbsp; That’s almost a third of the world’s population. Everyone can produce content, and it’s getting easier.
Do the maths.&nbsp; 
If just a minuscule percentage produce web content in our area of interest (unless it’s Stray Shopping Carts (Trolleys!) of the Eastern United States), that means thousands, possibly millions of new items appear daily.&nbsp; We’ve got to work smart, and hard, to produce outstanding stuff that stands out.
Why does the world need another crappy website saying the same things as 17,309,215 others?&nbsp; 
Ordinary, average, OK are not good enough.&nbsp; Figure out how to be remarkable, or forget it.&nbsp; 
4)&nbsp; Never forget we have to earn the right to have anyone take notice of us.
Note to most people:&nbsp; No one cares about you or your website.&nbsp; There’s no interest in your videos.&nbsp; People aren’t bothered how desperate you are to get traffic or to be popular.&nbsp; It makes no difference to them what happens to you.
If what we’re doing doesn’t appeal to people, we haven’t earned the right to their attention and we won’t get it.

Picture credit:&nbsp; Adam Pniak
5)&nbsp; If just one person cares about us enough to look at our stuff, be incredibly grateful.
Attention is the rarest thing.&nbsp; 
Why would anyone want to spend time with us when there’s a world of infinite possibilities, with unlimited opportunities, to access free, outstanding quality content on every imaginable topic? (Even if you’ve to wade through loadza&nbsp;rubbish to find it!)
So if just one reader likes and benefits from our stuff, be thankful, we’re doing something right for at least one person, that’s a start!&nbsp; Let’s build on it.&nbsp; 
Anyway, who said it was about numbers?&nbsp; I'm one of the most followed, most listed, and probably one of the most attractive and charismatic people online but do ya hear me going on about it?&nbsp; No ya don't! (For the hard of thinking, that was a little humour right? ha ha!)
It’s about real connectedness.&nbsp; 
It’s about being thankful.
It's about&nbsp;using what we’ve already got to make a difference.&nbsp; 
6)&nbsp; Have something to say or do that matters.
Is there something you think is so important the world needs to know about it?&nbsp; Decide what that thing (or things) is, and build everything you do around it.&nbsp; 
We have one life.&nbsp; 
Everything we do should somehow connect to that “big idea”.
Yes, be a fanatic.&nbsp; 
Or be ordinary, beige, unremarkable, and be forgotten faster than this morning’s burnt toast.
We get to choose.

Picture credit:&nbsp; Karynsig
7)&nbsp; Make an impact.&nbsp; 
Do you want to?&nbsp; Then do stuff that matters.&nbsp; Forget the rest.
What does it mean to make an impact?&nbsp; 
I don’t know, you have to figure it out.&nbsp; 
It might be doing something massive, or just making someone laugh or baking them a pie (I totally love pies, all kinds, my fave is rhubarb, and for pudding, a gooseberry tart - send me one of each through the inter-web....oh no, best wait ‘till I see you in person).
8)&nbsp; Strive to bring massive value to everyone we meet or connect with.&nbsp; 
Our value is measured only in relation to the amount of value we bring to others.&nbsp; You may have a different measure, but that’s mine.&nbsp; And yes, you’re still a valuable human being, no matter what!&nbsp; But ya get my drift.&nbsp; 
Ask yourself “what can I do that’ll make everyone I encounter better off than they were before?”.
People don’t care about you or I or what we want.&nbsp; They care about themselves and what they want.&nbsp; Let’s be less selfish.&nbsp; Let’s help others and most will love us back.&nbsp; Can you see how that kind of thinking’s gonna get us what we want anyway, and make life a whole lot better?
9)&nbsp; Be&nbsp;fantastically generous with our time, money, and kindness.
Much of the stuff that’s come into our life came despite our best efforts, or lack of them.&nbsp; Lots of blessings and opportunities we already enjoy appeared at random.&nbsp; 
Most reading this post were not born on a rubbish dump in some hell hole.&nbsp; 
Good health, intelligence, a loving family, didn’t come to us because we deserved them but because we were lucky.&nbsp; If we’re making the most of things, that’s great but don’t forget, our basic working materials could have been a lot less favourable.
Be generous.&nbsp; Be kind.&nbsp; Give and we will receive.&nbsp; Always.

Picture credit:&nbsp; vramak
10)&nbsp; Be outrageously committed to making the world better.
Decide where you can apply your strengths in the service of something bigger than yourself.&nbsp; Find a compelling way to engage your energies in solving problems, helping people, and making a difference.
Look at all the stuff that needs doing.&nbsp; 
Your boring blog isn’t worth the time.&nbsp; Pick something massive to do instead, and share that.&nbsp; 
The world absolutely needs us to roll up our sleeves and get stuck in.
11)&nbsp; Relationships.&nbsp; Relationships.&nbsp; Relationships.&nbsp; Take care to build and nurture them.
That’s it, the whole social web, the whole everything.
Summed up in three words;&nbsp; Relationships.&nbsp; Relationships.&nbsp; Relationships.
There’s nothing more.&nbsp; Our relationship to each other, to the planet, and to the spiritual dimension.
We can do nowt on our own.&nbsp; We need each other.&nbsp; 
Online, and off.
&nbsp;
Cheers for reading. I totally love your comments.&nbsp; What&nbsp;commandments did I miss?&nbsp; Do tell, it's always great to hear from you.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=80</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 22 Oct 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Are you giving people piles? STOP! Cut the crap and give real value.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; digipam
&nbsp;
Sometimes you come across a story.
Having read it you think "Wow, that makes an important point, and does it so well I know I'll remember!".
When you discover one you say "I'll share it with others, they'll love it, get the point, and find it helpful".
I've found such a story.&nbsp; Want to hear it?
A mighty ruler wants treasure.&nbsp; But since he doesn't want anyone to know he wants treasure, he asks his subjects to each bring him a giant truck full of dirt, hoping he'll find at least a small piece of gold, a precious stone, or maybe a coin in each load.&nbsp; The loyal subjects do as they're asked and soon the ruler has piles.&nbsp; (Not those piles, piles of dirt! Ha!)&nbsp; Anyway, the king spends hours, days, weeks, looking through the dirt, sifting it by hand.
One day a young lad finds an amazing diamond in the mud by a river.&nbsp; Since the ruler asked for dirt, the boy (thinking he'll upset the daft despot if he brings only the diamond) buries it in a huge pile waiting to be delivered in his dad's dumper truck.&nbsp; 
The ruler spends every waking hour searching through the muck, though he may never find the diamond.&nbsp; 
Is that what the silly ruler wanted?&nbsp; I don't think so!

Photo credit:&nbsp; Stinkie Pinkie
Anyway, what's the point of the story?
I bet you can draw out lots of points.&nbsp; But I'll choose one and nail it with a couple of questions:&nbsp; When we do stuff for our customers, readers, colleagues, family, or friends, are we giving them piles of useless crap that get in the way of what good we do have?&nbsp; Is the whole experience spoiled because folk have to work so hard wading through our clutter, just to get at those few small blobs of value?
Here's a thought:&nbsp; 
Since we're bombarded with so many options, our time is limited, and our attention even more.&nbsp; So, will we choose someone who offers us a few tiny nuggets buried in piles of unnecessary crap, or those who pick the precious gems out, clean them up, and present them neatly in a little box?&nbsp; Who do you think?
Oh yea, the story of the mighty ruler, good wasn't it? (I&nbsp;read a version of it here.)
Yea, but why the heck did he not just make his subjects bring treasure?&nbsp; I mean who on earth asks for giant piles of dirt?&nbsp; What did he tell people he was going to do with it?&nbsp; And once sifted, did he ask his subjects to come back and take it away?
Hey, I don't know! 
Bloomin' made-up stories, there's more crap in that one than there are diamonds!
&nbsp;
Cheers for reading. I totally love your comments.&nbsp; What other points could you make from "the mighty ruler and his piles" story?&nbsp; Do tell, it's always great to hear from you.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.
&nbsp;&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=79</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 8 Oct 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS79</guid>
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  <title>Do stuff that matters, or shut the **** up!</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit: Acumen Fund/Misbah Naqvi
&nbsp;
I'll tell you what gets me pumped and excited.
Well, I will in a minute, but first, I'll tell you what I think are really boring.
Here goes......
It's people.
Not just any people. But self-interested, self-centred, "the universe revolves around me" kinda people. Ya know, those who think their job, business, new kitchen, latest holiday, ride-on lawnmower, blog post, Louis Vuitton bag, collection of china bog brush holders, whatever, is so important and special that everything and everyone must get out the way and bow down in awe. Boring fekkers. 
Can't they see, in the scheme of things, none of this stuff's important? No? Thought not. 
Well, sod 'em, they're not my people.
These are my kinda people:



Do good stuff. This is the Acumen Fund shame about the cheesy picture.
I'll tell you what gets me pumped and excited......
It's people.
Folk who find things bigger than themselves and then dedicate their time, energies, and talents to those things are not only far more likely to add real value in the real world than their selfish counterparts, but you can bet yer ass they're going to be far more interesting too.
I know which group I'm aiming to be in, what about you?
I know, I know, not everyone gets the chance to work on amazing projects and have massive positive impact. But we can all do stuff to make a difference for others in some way, right now.
Here's a thought: If you really want to be happy, forget about being happy, you won't make it. 
Instead, get your focus off you. You aren't that important!
Go and make someone else's life better. You'll find the by-product makes you feel pretty flamin' good! 
And the rest of us might soon discover you ain't as dull as we'd thought!
&nbsp;
Thanks so much for reading. I totally love your comments. So do tell, what do you do to stop yourself getting too self absorbed and keep focused on stuff that matters? Please let me know, it's always great to hear from you. Much love, Ian.
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=78</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 5 Oct 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>My Dark Age: Have you ever woken someone up, just to see if they're still alive?  Why we must be grateful for our real connections.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; Atomicjeep
&nbsp;
I want to tell you about a really crappy, depressing few years when I felt no one cared.&nbsp; 
I want to&nbsp;show you&nbsp;why online socal networks, had they been around back then, would have made things less hard.&nbsp; And if you haven't already, I want you to realise just how lucky we are to have these amazing, relationship enhancing tools. 
This personal post&nbsp;might also show you why I'm passionate about writing the book "How to Be a Superhuman:&nbsp; Using the Amazing Power of Social Networks, Caring and Sharing, to Make a Living, Make a Life, and Make a Difference".&nbsp; So here it is:
I know what it's like to feel alone.&nbsp; &nbsp;No one to go to the pub with, share a decent conversation, or lend a hand when I needed it most.&nbsp; &nbsp;I know what it's like to feel alone.&nbsp; 
I've been there.&nbsp; It's shit.&nbsp; &nbsp;So please, don't tell me social networks don't matter, just 'cos all you can think to say on Twitter is which sandwich you might choose for lunch (yes, even your friends think your tweets are boring, it's just they're too polite to say). &nbsp;Because back then, when I felt extremely isolated, I'd have killed for the meaningful digital connectedness we've got now.&nbsp; I didn't have Facebook, e-mail, or even a computer.&nbsp; It was the Dark Age. &nbsp;In the Dark Age I was looking after my Grandma who'd brought me up.&nbsp;&nbsp; 
She was dying from cancer. &nbsp;Every day her health got worse.&nbsp;&nbsp; I'd returned home to Lancashire to care for her after a fantastic, life expanding time at college in London.&nbsp; There, I'd been surrounded by friends and fun, outstanding thinkers and ideas, amazing possibilities.&nbsp; Back in Blackburn, it was just Gran and I in the cultural desert.&nbsp; &nbsp;I got work looking after young people with severe disabilities.&nbsp; When I wasn't caring for them I was back home taking care of Gran.&nbsp; I'd no relatives or neighbours to help.&nbsp; There was no "community" and most of my old mates didn't care and couldn't be bothered - the decent ones were long gone.
I lost my Grandad at nine and my worst fear since then was that Gran would die too and leave me alone in the world.&nbsp; 
Now each morning I was struggling to help her get up, dressed, and washed - difficult and embarrassing for us both.&nbsp; After making sure she'd taken her pills I'd run out the door to take the one hour bus ride to work. &nbsp;When I left I'd worry all day, wondering if she'd be alive when I got home.&nbsp; 
When I got off the bus at night, I'd run back to the house.&nbsp; If Gran was sleeping I'd listen for breathing.&nbsp; If I couldn't hear it I'd wake her up to check she wasn't dead.&nbsp; She'd usually tell me off for worrying, but sometimes we'd just laugh, have a cup of tea, and I'd be alright.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Why am I telling you this?&nbsp;Because back then my life was shite.&nbsp; Oh yea, lots of folk had it worse, much worse.&nbsp; But for me, the isolation was dreadful.

Gran and I, 1994.
There were no smart mobile screens to read inspiring blogs on and lift the gloom.&nbsp; 
Twitter didn't exist.&nbsp; I don't think there were any supportive online communities to connect with.&nbsp; There were no apps for building your "tribe".&nbsp; Finding people in a similar position to share a chat with was almost impossible.&nbsp; There was no Skype to see a friendly, caring face.&nbsp; No support groups to talk to.&nbsp; No Tweet-ups for meeting real, like-minded human beings and sharing stuff that matters.&nbsp; No videos telling you how to help people with cancer or e-books on how to cope with the death of a loved one.&nbsp; 
Nothing.&nbsp; 
Nothing at all.&nbsp; At least, nothing I knew of or had available to me in the Dark Age.
Now, my life couldn't be more different than it was then.&nbsp; 
I'm connected, online and off, to some of the most amazing people on the planet.&nbsp; I'm surrounded in every sense by wonderful, generous, caring people.&nbsp; I've a lovely family, great friends, and all the fantastic, life-expanding, uplifting intellectual and cultural stimulation I could wish for, in business and life.&nbsp; 
I'm a very lucky person and I'm truly grateful.
So, again, why am I telling you this?
Because during the last few years, for the first time ever, digital tech's made it possible to build meaningful, genuine connections with all kinds of people, everywhere!&nbsp; This stuff isn't just for superficial banter (which I love of course!).&nbsp; This is big.&nbsp; 
This stuff can change everything!&nbsp; And it will.&nbsp; It's massive.
Despite continued doom and gloom and worry about "the economy", and all kinds of global and local problems (course, these are massive issues) we've got an unprecedented opportunity.&nbsp; 
Every day, I hear people whinging.&nbsp; People who simply don't "get", or choose not to "get" that we're living in amazing times, times of extraordinary possibility.&nbsp; Plus, we've a chance to do something together that's absolutely remarkable.&nbsp; 
And get this:&nbsp; if we can use our connectedness and digital tools to help each other&nbsp;banish loneliness and isolation, create better businesses and spread ideas that matter, then we can also use them to build strong, caring communities on and offline.&nbsp; 
Imagine when we scale-up the caring.&nbsp; 
Visualise the potential impact as we grown our generous, collaborative networks and the goodness increases exponentially.&nbsp; Can you see how that might at least give us a shot at making things better for everyone?&nbsp; Yes, I know you can!
When I look back to my own Dark Age and remember the isolation and pain, I'm grateful it's in the past.&nbsp; But I think how many people there might be everywhere, right now, who are feeling completely alone.&nbsp; They may think there's no one going through the same things, that no one cares, that they're on their own.&nbsp; 
Hey! Excuse me for being a believer but.........&nbsp; 
If these amazing digital tools can work for you and I they can work for others too.&nbsp; They can help people find "their people".&nbsp; Those online connections often develop into genuine friendship and amazing opportunities of all kinds.&nbsp; 
My own Dark Age wouldn't be quite so dark if it were happening today.&nbsp; And if digital connectedness can work for us, it can work for other, currently non-connected, isolated people, and make their future brighter too.
My question is:
Who are you going to help get there?&nbsp;For me, social networking tools are meaningless unless we use them to make deep connections and to make a difference for others.&nbsp; Life's greatest riches are reserved for givers.
Be generous.&nbsp; Be kind.&nbsp; Help connect others.&nbsp; Bring people together on and offline.&nbsp; And you'll never feel alone again.
I know what that feels like.&nbsp; I've been there.&nbsp; It's great!
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Thanks so much for reading.&nbsp; Do let me know what you think will help us make our online connections stronger and impact the offline world? I love hearing what you think.&nbsp; Please do leave a comment, it's always great to hear from you.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.
&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=77</link>
  <pubDate>Sun, 3 Oct 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>The one ingredient that's absolutely essential for understanding anyone. </title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; bhav.bhav
&nbsp;
An old college classmate spotted me on YouSuckMyFatFaceSpace.com or somewhere and sent a message.&nbsp; 
It sparked an idea that's vital for understanding&nbsp;anyone - get it working for you now!&nbsp;&nbsp;
I don’t remember much about that lad except he was a bit windy and had a mango shaped chin.&nbsp; He was a good geezer, but it’s over four thousand days ago so ya forget the details.
His message reminded me of a favourite college professor and the day he and I met during her first lecture.&nbsp; 
I couldn’t remember the talk but I do recall she was wearing a homemade knitted tank top with a paper-chain-cut-out-people pattern.&nbsp; That top was seen around campus quite a lot during my years at college.

Picture credit:&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Hiten_Mistry
Hearing from Tropical Fruit Jaw got me thinking about the well dressed professor and something she’d said came back to me:
“In ten years time, some of you sitting here today will be doing very well, and some of you will have gone right off the rails!”
More than a decade has passed.&nbsp; I think I’m one that’s “gone right off the rails”.&nbsp; Or perhaps I’m not.&nbsp; Maybe I’m still on the “rails” trundling along nicely...I’m doing very well, thank you. 
But wait, how can I know if I’m on, or off, since I can’t remember her ever saying what those “rails” are?
I think I can guess.&nbsp; 
Make a stab.&nbsp; Pick up a few clues, put two and five together, and end up with six point nine.&nbsp;&nbsp; Oh yea, that’s what she must have meant.&nbsp; Yea, I’m definitely “on the rails”.&nbsp; Hang on though.&nbsp; Maybe she didn’t mean that at all.&nbsp; Maybe she meant something else entirely.&nbsp; Flamin’ ek!&nbsp; Now I’m right “off the rails” again.&nbsp; 
Bugger!
The problem is, sometimes, without really knowing people, it’s kinda hard to understand what it is they mean when they say stuff.&nbsp; 
‘Cos despite our dedication to accurate communication in the nation, without hesitation, we all bring our subjective interpretation to every situation.&nbsp; 
We only get partial meaning from words alone.&nbsp; They’re often not sufficient for us to fully understand what someone means.
So guess how I know the lovely old professor, should I see her again for a cup of tea and two custard creams, would probably say “oh it’s good to see you didn’t go “right off the rails” after all”?

Picture credit:&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ciccioetneo
Relationship.&nbsp; That’s how.
When we spend time with people, get to know them, it’s not just their words that speak to us.&nbsp; It’s how they live, what they believe, and what they stand for that’s loudest.&nbsp; Those things rise above words.
Relationship gives us a clearer picture.&nbsp; 
Relationship gives context.
T'was relationship that eventually let me know exactly what she meant when she said some of us will “go right off the rails” because I got to know that professor quite well.&nbsp; 
Relationship tells me that for her, a life “off the rails” is one of selfishness, closed-mindedness, and a refusal to see, and pay attention to, the bigger picture.&nbsp; 
And what did she mean by “doing very well”?&nbsp; Well, I think she would have said that that’s all about caring, generosity, making a difference, and reaching for something higher.&nbsp; 
I know this because of relationship.
I’m sure, if she knew the full story of how I, and probably that mango-chinned, windy-arsed classmate too, have turned out then she’d see we do, from time to time, go “right off the rails”.&nbsp; Yip, more often than we’d want to admit.
But hey!&nbsp; Here comes that relationship thing again, revealing the context: when we slip off those “rails”, at least we recognise it and do our best to get back on again, fast!
Hey!&nbsp; Let's have some tough love: 
If we're often misunderstood, or&nbsp;we don't seem to "get" people, perhaps our relationships are "off the rails"?&nbsp; Hey, if we want a better way of living, we can't run away from this one, we've gotta take it square in the gob and deal with it eh?
And so back to you my dear professor.
I do hope our relationship established all those years ago will allow you to see that at least&nbsp;I'm still havin’ a crack at “doing very well”.
Oh yea, and I wasn’t the one who stole your tank top and nailed it to the chapel door.&nbsp; That was Chris Pope.
&nbsp;
Cheers for reading....I do appreciate it tha’ knows!&nbsp; Do ya reckon our digital connections help us build proper relationships where we really “get” each other?&nbsp; Let me know if that’s happened for you?&nbsp; As always, I love your comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.
&nbsp;]]></description>
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  <pubDate>Wed, 29 Sep 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Have the balls to stand for something and let it shape your future. Plus, signing a book deal.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit: seo_qun&nbsp;&nbsp;
I did something that'll shape my long term future.
It'll define me and show the world, should they give a crap, what my biggest thoughts are,&nbsp;and what kind of person I am.When this gets out, some doors might slam shut. Others&nbsp;will open so wide you could get my neighbour and her incredibly rectangular bingo mates through it side by side - in gangs of ten!
So what did I do?
I signed a publishing agreement to write a book called "How to Be a Superhuman:&nbsp; Using the Amazing Power of Social Networks to Make a Living, Make a Life, and Make a Difference".&nbsp; The currently bare page went up on Amazon today and&nbsp;sparing disaster, the book'll be available in the spring.
OK, so it's not that dramatic! But hey, it's a big deal for me and I'm very pleased I've got this opportunity to write something I'm passionate about.
It's as if that woolly idea, that's always been some&nbsp;distance in the future, now has bones.
Soon it'll have flesh, guts, a life of it's own. Yes, something of me will be in those pages, and to some degree, I'll be defined, and judged, by it. The reality is, instead of being only an idea&nbsp;which may be infinitely great, with no compromise or dirty rotten bits, my book will be "out there" and everyone will see how amazing, or crap, it is!&nbsp;&nbsp;
(Sorry for the melodrama! - it definitely will not be crap! - though actually, in the scheme of things my book's of negligible&nbsp;significance but ya get my point eh? - It's massively important to me!&nbsp; I reckon it'll help us focus on the good we can do&nbsp;together and inspire us to make a real difference for each other and the world! - I mean it, why write anything if you don't think it'll be amazing?)Anyway, though I'm bursting to tell you all about it, I better save the details&nbsp;for future posts and videos. Then, even librarians won't keep me quite.
Why am I telling you this?
For loads of reasons, not least because&nbsp;I'm grateful for all the lovely, kind, generous, and outstandingly bright people I'm getting to know through our global, digital connectedness. I truly appreciate all the inspiration and love that comes my way through you guys! And if you care about people, you naturally want to share stuff with 'em, right? Second, I know you'll help me with&nbsp;this book (telling me about&nbsp;inspiring people and stories) and you'll share it with others too, so I want you to be part of what I'm up to from the start. The third reason's related, and came from a post I read called "If We Want To Be Champions, We Should Talk About Our Goals" by Matthew Goldsbrough.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's only short, but a great little piece about a boxer named David Haye, perhaps you've heard of him? Anyway, that post kinda sums up another great reason why I'm telling you this today: if we get our ideas out there, instead of keeping 'em in our heads and never taking action, we increase the likelihood of making sensational things happen (and perhaps too, the risk of frightening ourselves to death - deal with it, why don't ya!).I've had 134 million great book ideas, but this is the first time I've been really serious about actually plonkin' my ass on a chair long enough to write one! Oh yea, I really have discovered some important things I'm passionate about. I've stuff to say that I reckon'll help us build caring, generous, more on-purpose lives too, so I guess that's the forth reason I'm telling you this stuff!And like a slinky&nbsp;radio DJ, that&nbsp;link brings us smoothly to this:
&nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp;&nbsp; ºìÍ·½í
Passion.
I think I've found mine. In fact, deep down, I've always known what my passions are, and my purpose, the "point" of my life, gets clearer everyday. I've found that purpose starts to emerge when we get in touch with our deepest passions, and start to be honest about them. 
That's the thing we've got to have the balls to get "out there" - the thing we really care about, that we want to tell the world more than anything else!&nbsp; Find that thing (or things), then figure out ways to build more of your life around it!But if you're struggling with this next question, help is on the way.
How do we find our passion in life?
A question lots of people ask. Sure it is. But it's a question that results in quite a bit of frustration, confusion, and for some, paralysis! Perhaps we should re-frame it and ask "how can we find our passions (more than one!) in life". If we could just stay still for a moment, I think most of us could see really obvious clues as to what our passions are. I know one of the major blockages is figuring out how, and believing we can, turn our passions into a lifestyle where we can still pay the bills and get by in the so-called "real world".But don't let those thoughts hold you back from this great video, it's one of the clearest most helpful we'll find on the subject! 
 
Thanks very much Randy Komisar and to Seth Simonds!
And remember when experimenting with finding our passions and doing stuff with them "don't worry, be crappy!".&nbsp; Take risks.&nbsp; Get&nbsp;stuff out there!&nbsp; We'll&nbsp;get better and better at it when we listen to feedback and have a little patience.
That's what I'm doing with this book:&nbsp; by writing it, and having it published, I'm putting an idea "out there".&nbsp; With your help and encouragement along the way I know I've got every chance of producing something amazing - I thank you!
If you found that helpful, there's&nbsp;more inspiring stuff here:&nbsp; Want to live with passion? Follow your DNA. 
I love it that you bothered to read this post.&nbsp; I hope you enjoyed it and found it helpful,&nbsp;thanks!&nbsp;&nbsp;I always like to&nbsp;know what you think.&nbsp;&nbsp;Did you find your passion?&nbsp; Your purpose?&nbsp; How?&nbsp;&nbsp;What have you discovered about following your passions and having a&nbsp;clear purpose?&nbsp;&nbsp;Any advice?&nbsp;&nbsp;See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.
&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=75</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 20 Sep 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How come no cats or dogs showed up to hear Sir Ken Robinson at Shift Happens?</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; Orangeacid
&nbsp;
Did you see any cats or dogs at the Theatre Royal in York for the Shift Happens&nbsp;conference (ALT/Shift) this year?&nbsp; 
Prefer audio?&nbsp; Recorded version is here.
No, neither did I.
Why not?
I know the answer.&nbsp; 
Sir Ken told me and the rest of us Shifters via live link from LA (that's LA Los Angeles, USA, not the more famous LA Lancaster (LA1) where I'm from).

Chief Shifter and creator of the Shift Happens Conference, Marcus Romer, with Sir Ken on the big screen back in July, 2010.&nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp; Pilot Theatre.&nbsp;&nbsp; 
It's 'cos cats and dogs are still doing pretty much what they’ve always done.&nbsp; 
And if it's left to them, they'll carry on behaving the same.&nbsp; So why would these four-leggers bother going to an event like Shift Happens?&nbsp; They've absolutely no interest in learning about the actual (and potential) impact and disruption the current furious, unprecidented rate of global change brings.
Maybe they're not concerned.&nbsp; Perhaps they don't need to be, they can do nothing about it anyway.&nbsp; Oh yea, they'll be affected.&nbsp; Human behaviours affect every person, every place, and every thing on our planet to some degree, and that degree is increasing each day.
OK, we can forgive those cats and dogs for not trying to understand this stuff, and for not changing their behaviours in the light of new information.&nbsp; 
But what about us humans?&nbsp; 
Are we really listening to Sir Ken and other great Shift speakers when they suggest these global currents are changing everything, in ways we've never seen before, and faster than ever?&nbsp; 
We can say "Oh, how interesting" and carry on as usual.&nbsp; 
Or, we can say "Wow, this is massive, transformative, scary, exciting, a gift, bloody frightening, an opportunity.&nbsp; How can I open my mind to think differently, to listen and learn, and to act in new ways relevant to what we know already?".
Sir Ken's talk included references to the near future (five to ten years) where the most powerful computers could have the processing capability of a six month old baby.&nbsp; 

Picture credit:&nbsp; Bistrosavage
Does that mean we're very close to machines being capable of learning?&nbsp; 
Where the hell will that lead?&nbsp; Are these machines about to take control and start doing a better job of running the show than many of us humans have done so far?&nbsp; Who knows?
There's no space in this post to pull out all the charts and maps and show you how the world works.
In any case, no one really knows how it, or our lives, are gonna look in the next twelve months, never mind the next decade (except for that funny lookin’ woman on Blackpool seafront - give her a fiver, enter her box, and she’ll reveal all!).

Picture credit:&nbsp; Frogman!
What's certain is we're living in uncertain times.&nbsp; And uncertain times demand creativity!
So here's the deal:&nbsp; Our lives are gonna change, and not just a little, a lot!&nbsp; 
Perhaps you're seeing established structures you've relied on start to shake.&nbsp; Just at their edges so far, but the shock waves will soon rock things a heck of a lot more.&nbsp; And what if these waves get so powerful the entire structure you've trusted collapses?
Here's an idea:&nbsp; When things are going well, change is bad.&nbsp; When they're not so good, change is good!
Perhaps change that demolishes selfish, unhelpful systems is just what the world needs.&nbsp; 
It’s up to us to decide what we’ll put in their place.
At the excellent Shift Happens conference, Sir Ken talked about our approach to education being mostly out of step with the massive shifts impacting our lives.&nbsp; He spoke of schools that don't serve the immense potential and creativity of our kids.&nbsp;&nbsp; 
And did I hear Sir Ken suggest that most certainly don't equip young people to make a difference in a world where many people desperately need help finding, and reconnecting with, the core of what it means to be human?&nbsp; 
Yes, I think I did.&nbsp; 
And from my perspective, it's not just our kids who are left floundering in confused systems where the truly important is neglected and box-ticking crap is the elevated to god-like status.&nbsp; 
Look around.&nbsp; Go on.&nbsp; Let's take a really good look.&nbsp; 
Amongst the noise, clutter, and demands&nbsp;we conform to averageness and mediocrity, to “fit in”, where are those clear voices helping us see where true human potential, value and nourishment lie?&nbsp; Sure, they’re there, and thanks partly to the power of digital social networks, they're growing stronger.&nbsp; 
But I reckon it's up to us - yes, you and I - to decide for ourselves that we're going to reach for something bigger, for meaning, purpose, and passion.&nbsp; 
No “system” can hand those things to us as part of the service!&nbsp; 
No “system” cares about you or I or whether we find those vital things.
Because you know what?&nbsp; If we stay asleep, waiting for the so-called "mainstream" to help us, pretty much nothing will happen to get us where we want to be.
&nbsp; 
Picture credit:&nbsp; SuperFantastic
So, we're on our own.&nbsp; Wait!........
Oh no we're not!&nbsp; We have each other and the amazing power of collaboration.
Like minded people connecting with like minded people, doing stuff together, stuff that matters.&nbsp; 
The world needs us - yes, you and I again - to lead.&nbsp; 
I'm really pleased and grateful to be a part of that.&nbsp; Not 'cos someone's invited me, or given me permission, but because I've decided, like you, that being generous, and caring about things bigger than myself&nbsp;are a massive part of how I want to live.&nbsp; 
I want to thrive in a changing world, rather than sit it out, pretending my&nbsp;ship isn't going down while I become irrelevant.&nbsp; Instead I want to connect, be conscious, creative, and help others do the same.
Yep, those shiftless cats and dogs will carry on doing just what they've always done and likely never&nbsp;learn from amazing&nbsp;events like Shift Happens, or from all the willing teachers, friends, and allies we can find online, and face to face.&nbsp;
Meanwhile, you and I are making shift happen and helping others who are open to shifting their asses too.
&nbsp;
I'm very pleased you took the time to read this post.&nbsp; I love your thoughts and comments.&nbsp; Please leave some.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.
&nbsp;
]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=74</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 9 Sep 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How come no cats or dogs showed up to hear Sir Ken Robinson at Shift Happens? Audio Version</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit: Orangeacid
Audio version
Did you see any cats or dogs at the Theatre Royal in York for the Shift Happens conference (ALT/Shift) in July this year? 
No, neither did I. 
Why not?


Original text version of this post is here
I'm very pleased you took the time to read this post. I love your thoughts and comments. Please leave some. Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.
&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=73</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 9 Sep 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How the World Cup and Wimbledon might spark a deep and meaningful relationship!</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit: Shine 2010 World Cup
&nbsp;
There’s something I’ve got to tell you.&nbsp; I know, it’s not gonna make me popular, but what the heck, I’ll say it anyway.
Here goes:
I don’t give a crap about the World Cup.&nbsp; 
Yea, that’s right.&nbsp; I couldn’t care less.&nbsp; 
OK.&nbsp; 
Since I’ve started,&nbsp; I’ll carry on.&nbsp; 
Wimbledon.&nbsp; I don’t care about that either.&nbsp; 
No.&nbsp; Not at all.
To me, it’s nothing.&nbsp; A non-event.&nbsp; Meaningless.&nbsp; 
I’m not interested.&nbsp; 
Thank you and goodbye.
Wait!&nbsp; Don’t go yet, I wanna tell you more.

Picture credit:&nbsp; Evil Erin
Here’s what I do love:
People.&nbsp; Connection. Conversation. 
People.&nbsp; I love people.&nbsp; 
Not just any old (!) people - kind, generous, interesting, giving, thoughtful, open-minded, bright people.&nbsp; People who know who they are and what they’re about.&nbsp; People who stand for something.&nbsp; People who care about things bigger than themselves.
Connection.&nbsp; I love connection.&nbsp; 
Not pointless, fake-it, pretend we’re interested in each other kind of connection.&nbsp; You know, the sort that comes about when people feel forced to conform to someone else’s agenda, or play a role (can’t stand those kinds of connections, can you?).
No, I’m talking about making real contact.&nbsp; When we both reach out, find the stuff that matters, and start to build our relationship around that.&nbsp; That’s how you get real friendship, right? (like in that film E.T., or in Toy Story?)
And conversation.&nbsp; I love conversation.&nbsp; 
Not just any old conversation - I usually don’t like too much of the superficial kind (though I’m bloody good at it when I want to be, oh yes, probably a lot better than most of you! Ha!).
No, I want us to talk about the big stuff.&nbsp; And I mean the big stuff.&nbsp; Stuff so big it makes the Large Hadron Collider look like a paper clip.

Picture credit:&nbsp; Shine 2010 World Cup
I want us to push giant ideas back and forth.&nbsp; 
I want to see what you care about so much if you lost it you’d die.&nbsp; I want to hear what you dream about, what you believe to be your life’s purpose, how you will build your business and help people with the profits you make.&nbsp; I want to know if you think we are spiritual beings in a human body, what we can do together to stop genocide or smash poverty, what you are most afraid of, how you are going to change the world.
You see I love all that stuff, the big stuff.&nbsp; 
It occupies my mind much of the time.&nbsp; It makes me feel fully alive when we talk about it and try to figure out what little - or massive - things we can learn, and put to work, to make the world better.

Picture credit:&nbsp; Evil Erin
Oh yea, what I said about Wimbledon and the World Cup.
In the scheme of things, I don’t really care about them, not really.&nbsp; 
But hey, if you talk with me, or we connect online or in person, or if you read Reallygood Thinking, you’ll know I love banter! (And I suppose I must like World Cup&nbsp;based banter too&nbsp; - I even made a video post full of it (football banter!) especially for Jordan Cooper of NotAProBlog.com so there!)&nbsp; 
Because, though I crave the deeper things, love exploring tough questions, and thrive on discussing stuff for which there appear to be no conclusive answers, I respect the fact that often, to get to that good stuff, we have to be generous enough to allow folk chance to express themselves at the level that’s initially most comfortable for them.
That’s one thing that’s taken me a few decades to learn.
It doesn’t matter that I don’t care much about watching, even less talking about, tennis or football, ‘cos I do care about people.&nbsp; That means I’ll do my best to respect them, and try to figure out how we can make real connections.&nbsp; And if it has to start with a chat about USA v. Ghana, England v. Germany, Serena Williams v. Vera Zvonareva, or Rafael Nadal v. Andy Murray, then I’m OK with that, let’s do it!
But I’ve got to be honest with you, if it doesn’t quickly get much deeper than a Britney Spears lyric, I ain’t gonna be hangin’ out with you for long.&nbsp; To keep the conversation at that level would be as enjoyable for me as a whack in the nuts with my son’s cricket bat.&nbsp; 
So I can’t dis my DNA.&nbsp; 
I’m passionate about the big stuff right to my core, and I ain’t gonna stop thinking about it, talking about it, and trying to let it shape my business and life.&nbsp; 
No, not for anyone. 

You see I’m on a mission:&nbsp; 
I’m looking for the big ideas I can use to make the world better.&nbsp; I think I’ve found some and I want to get them working hard.
I’m sure you’ve got some too.
But we need people to inspire us and help us release our passion and purpose.&nbsp; We need to find people to work with so together we can do even better stuff.
So my first big question to you:&nbsp; 
Have you got the balls (or whatever the equivalent female version is) to reveal the real you, to move beyond the superficial to something deeper and more meaningful, to reach out and make real connections?
And my second question:
Who can you connect with today, in person or online, to help you move closer to a real relationship that could really help you leap forward and make a difference in your life and biz?
Yip, it might scare the crap out of you, but what the heck (as far as I know we only live once right?&nbsp; And anyway, you don’t want to be in a comfortable fog do you?&nbsp; Just do it!).
Anyway, please let me know how you get on.&nbsp; I’m off to watch the tennis.
&nbsp;
I really appreciate your taking the time to read this post.&nbsp; Please let me know how you're forming&nbsp;deeper connections in biz and life. Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;
Think Better.&nbsp; Feel Better.&nbsp; Take an Aspin.
&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=72</link>
  <pubDate>Sat, 3 Jul 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Life's thrown some pretty big turds this past two weeks, but hey, I'm still a lucky guy.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; Dave Haygarth
&nbsp;
WARNING:&nbsp; This post gets a bit downbeat before I get to the part about being lucky.
The last week or so has been pretty damn grim.&nbsp; Here's why:
Seven days ago, a friend called to tell me&nbsp;a man&nbsp;was running around west Cumbria shooting people.&nbsp; 
A few hours later and the horrible, heartbreaking results of his actions were being talked about all over the planet:&nbsp; 12 people died in Britain's worst killing spree in 14 years.&nbsp; So many lives lost or ruined in an instant.
I feel for those who are hurt and hurting right now.&nbsp; Many will hurt for a long time to come.&nbsp;When senseless stuff like this happens it's bound to affect us, even if we didn't personally lose anyone we know.&nbsp; 
When it happens in familiar, well loved places, or close to home, it feels unreal.&nbsp;A few days earlier, I'd been knocked out by a nasty bug, some kind of infection that made my heart feel like it was fighting to get out of my ribs.&nbsp; Though it turned out to be nothing serious, it was frightening.
I think it scared me more because I'd just come home from visiting a close friend who'd had major heart surgery.&nbsp; He's the most active outdoor guy on earth but was born with some kind of valve defect.&nbsp; Had it not been spotted recently - by accident - it could have ruptured and killed him in a flash.&nbsp; 
I saw him a few days after his op.&nbsp; He looked terrible.&nbsp; He'll get better, but he's gonna have to take it very slow for ages.
That got me thinking about another mate.&nbsp; In a few weeks, it'll be the second anniversary of his death.&nbsp; He was a new dad.&nbsp; He's deeply missed.&nbsp;But for me the lowest point was last Friday when my 11 month old son suddenly developed an extremely high temperature and breathing difficulties and had to be taken to hospital.&nbsp;I'm so relieved and grateful he's OK now, and pretty much back to his usual cheerful, energetic self.&nbsp;The point is sh** happens.&nbsp; &nbsp;Horrible things happen.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
People get sick.&nbsp;
People die.&nbsp;
We are vulnerable.&nbsp; 
We are sometimes weak.&nbsp; 
Sometimes powerless.&nbsp; 
Life can be pretty damn grim.

Picture:&nbsp; Sunset over Morecambe Bay looking toward Cumbria.&nbsp;
But I'm a lucky guy.&nbsp;Why?&nbsp; &nbsp;Because by pure randomness and chance, I did not cross the path of a killer last week.&nbsp; &nbsp;My chest bug turned out to be nothing serious.&nbsp; &nbsp;My friend's operation went brilliantly and he'll be around for a long time to come.&nbsp; &nbsp;I have great memories of my late friend Paul and my life is richer because I knew him.&nbsp; &nbsp;And my son is alive and well and we'll celebrate his first birthday in a few weeks.&nbsp;I don't care if this sounds worthy, but I have so many reasons to be grateful.&nbsp; Here are some: &nbsp;I've two fantastic, healthy children, a brilliant wife, family, close friends, people who care about me and who are there for me, health, freedom, peace of mind, I love and I am loved, I have enough of everything I want and need, I've opportunities, I do work I'm passionate about and believe it matters, and I've amazing connections with outstanding people on and offline.&nbsp;How did I get so lucky?&nbsp;Sure, a lot of what I have is down to pure randomness and chance, being born in the UK, and not some hell hole of pain and suffering that many people are born into.&nbsp; And despite&nbsp;my advantages of birth, I'm not belittling the fact that lots of people here suffer massively in all kinds of ways too.&nbsp;And we know that around our planet, every day, people are killed, injured, their homes, lives, livelihoods are wrecked through war, disaster, crime, they struggle, suffer, lose children, go hungry, get sick, have little or no medical care, no hope, and a slim chance that things will get better.&nbsp;I feel for them.&nbsp; 
It's often hard to look on the bright side.&nbsp; But we must.
Like you, I want do something, no matter how small my best efforts may be in the scheme of things, to make a difference for others.&nbsp;And whilst life sometimes scares the crap out of me I'm going to keep reminding myself that I am one hell of a lucky guy.&nbsp;Perhaps, when it all boils down, you're one of the very lucky ones too. &nbsp;
&nbsp;
I really appreciate your taking the time to read this post.&nbsp; Please let me know your thoughts. Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=71</link>
  <pubDate>Wed, 9 Jun 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Love me. Hate me.  But I will get under your skin.</title>
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&nbsp;
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
I'm very pleased to have this post from Reallygood Thinking guest professor Marianne Cantwell, a Free Range Human and career change coach.&nbsp; You can find Marianne&nbsp;here&nbsp;at&nbsp;Free Range Humans and &nbsp;here&nbsp;on Twitter.
&nbsp;
We caught this free&nbsp;range human called Marianne.
If you don’t love what I have to say, here’s what I want from you.
I want you to hate me. 
I want you to say “that girl is not funny. She’s annoying.”
Say “Who would hire a career coach whose brand revolves around a badly drawn chicken?”
Say “Her fees are too high. What, she doesn’t even offer regular, structured coaching programmes?? Who does she think she is?”
I want you to say “She flaps her hands too much when she speaks. Can’t STAND her.”

Then, I want you to tell your friends how much you can’t stand me. 
Tell them that Free Range Humans is a crazy concept, giving false hope to people, pushing an unrealistic dream. 
When you run out of ammunition, tell them I have really bad hair.*
Hate is similar to love.
The person or brand you HATE gets under your skin. 
They hit a sensitive spot that is beyond apathy. You feel something inside you start bubbling away.
If someone hates me, no hard feelings, I’m just wrong for them (maybe just for now, maybe forever. Whatever).
BUT the FACT that someone can be incited to hate me means that my message is clear and radical enough that it will get under the skin of someone else. Someone who will love my message, and feel I am speaking directly to them.

If that’s you, my message will hit a spot that is beyond apathy. You will feel something inside you start bubbling away… 
And that’s a life changing experience. 
Vent your spleen at mc@free-range-humans.com and let me know how much you hated this article.
&nbsp;*Actually, don’t. My stylist follows me on Twitter and might start crying.**
** You can also tell your friends I overuse the asterisk to footnote unfunny comments. That must be annoying. ***
*** REALLY annoying

Thanks very much to Marianne&nbsp;for taking the time to write&nbsp;this post.
&nbsp;
And thanks very much to you for taking the time to read it.&nbsp; We love to hear your ideas and to have your comments.&nbsp; So, are you a free range human?&nbsp; Are you mostly loved, or mostly hated?&nbsp; Or, are you vanilla?&nbsp; See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=70</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 21 May 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Like Bees to Honey by Caroline Smailes</title>
  <description><![CDATA[CHAPTER 28



Open publication - Free publishing
I'm very pleased and delighted to host Chapter 28 of Caroline Smailes' lovely book "Like Bees to Honey" here on Reallygood Thinking.&nbsp; This is a pioneering way to publish a novel and it's fantastic that we've got a chapter for you! 
Enjoy.
You can find the next chapter here on Gemma Burgess' blog. 
If you want to start at the beginning, you'll find links to all host blogs for each "Like Bees to Honey" chapter&nbsp; here on Caroline's own blog.&nbsp; Her bio is here.

Thanks so much for reading. Do let Caroline hear your thoughts in the comments. Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=69</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 20 May 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Re:Publish    A road-map for broken publishers</title>
  <description><![CDATA[&nbsp;
Picture credit: retlaw snellac&nbsp;
&nbsp;
I'm very pleased to have this post from Reallygood Thinking guest professor Gary Smailes, a&nbsp;writer, author, editor, and co-founder of BubbleCow, an excellent&nbsp;resource for writers and those wanting to get published.&nbsp; You can find Gary&nbsp;at the BubbleCow blog and more info about Gary's career in his bio.&nbsp; 

Things change
Once, a long time ago, publishing was a dangerous and clandestine profession. It was all about spreading ideas and the printed page was a vehicle for insightful and explosive thoughts. 
Kings, dictators, and even popes feared the written word. 
But this changed when the printed page became a vehicle for profit. 
Power shifted away from the writer, away from the challenging minds and into the hands of conservative, profit focused publishers. 
Birth of the novel
It was technology that sparked the transition from big idea to business model. Expensive printing meant that a publisher’s role become one of providing essential investment, as well as critical distribution. 
The power shifted from cash poor writers (idea makers?) to cash rich publishers. 
And…since publishers were taking a financial risk, they wanted a financial reward. 
The result was a move away from edgy and risky ideas, towards safer mainstream literature. 
It was into this model that the novel was birthed.
Risk limitation
The model worked/works (kind of?) for publishers, but the same can’t be said for writers. 
The publisher/writer partnership is unbalanced, with writers receiving a fraction of the profit and publishers being over rewarded for their perceived risk. 
Book selling is an unpredictable art and figures as high as 80% have been quoted for the amount of books that fail to make any significant profit. 
This means just 20% of a publisher’s output will make any real money. 
The problem comes in predicting which 20% will work. 
This results in publishers having little choice but to set free as many books as possible, knowing that a few will, somehow, will become bestsellers. 
The profit model is broken and the business model is lob sided. 
The flip side is that 80% of published writers are never rewarded.
The bitter irony is that those writers with the big and dangerous ideas have suffered the most. Controversial, risky and unpopular (world changing?) ideas are the least likely to produce bestselling books.
Publishing is no longer about big ideas; it is now simply about risk limitation.
Broken dreams
Publishing bestsellers may have worked in the past, but it is no longer the only, or even the best, publishing model. 
Digitisation and the Internet have removed the need for physical bookshelves, shifting the business model’s centre of gravity away from the bestseller, towards the long tail. 
Changing technology is to blame.
Digital printing, short runs and online stores have stripped away the publisher’s financial clout.
The Internet, e-books, downloading, e-readers and pdfs have smashed up the distribution chain that was the life blood of the traditional publishers. 
Twitter, Facebook, communities, virtual honesty and transparency have eaten away at the marketing framework. 
The very skeleton the bestseller model hangs upon is rotting away. 
One question
There is good and bad news.
The bad
The Internet and interconnected communities will murder the traditional publisher. In the same way they are slowly killing a reluctant music publisher.
The good (is very good)
Ideas are the food of these same interconnected communities, and they still value something that publishers are very good at finding – content. 
These communities are forcing the publisher to ask one very simple question:
&nbsp;
What happens if you separate content from format?
The answer
Content and format are not the same thing…
Content is content. 
Content is ideas and thoughts, though it may also be stories and narratives, but what it is not is words (though it may be).
A print book is not content. 
A print book is a delivery system.
A print book is a format. 
If you remove the content from a printed book and create a pdf file, then allow readers to download this from the Internet, the content remains, though the pdf becomes the format. 
If you remove the content from a printed book and create an audio mp3 file, then allow readers to download this from the Internet, the content remains, though the mp3 becomes the format. 
If you remove the content from a printed book and create a blog post, then allow readers to access this from the Internet, the content remains, though the blog post becomes the format. 
The content is freed from the format. 
&nbsp;
Three pillars
This new system/model is based on three pillars:
Concept: This is the writer’s idea.
Content: This is the concept moulded in order to match the format.
Format: This is the way the content is delivered. 
Concept
The role of the publisher is no longer about finding words that can be printed in the hope they will sell best of all. 
The new publisher must be a seeker of big ideas. 
Their role becomes one of finding ideas and then moulding them into a concept. 
Defining this concept, that is harnessing the big idea into a manageable form, is a publisher’s primary role. 
The concept becomes the foundation, the very bedrock&nbsp;upon which all else is built. 
Content
Yet, we can go further…
Once a concept is defined then it can be moulded/cut/chipped/polished to fit the manner in which it will ultimately be delivered. After all, a live presentation to a thousand people will contain a different form of the concept than a series of concise blog posts or 50,000 word book. 
This manipulation of the concept to a deliverable form is developing content.
The publisher’s second job is to create, or at least facilitate, the creation of content. 
Format
Imagine a world where content is not constrained by format. 
The idea behind the content (the concept) remains solid, though the way the content is delivered alters. 
This delivery system is the format.
The format simply becomes the best (most convenient?) delivery system for the reader (consumer?).
The format is the form in which the consumer (reader?) wishes to receive the content. 
A printed book is a format, but so is an e-book.
Video is a format, but so are speaking engagements.
A subscription site is a format, but so is a TV show.
A documentary is a format, but so is a blog post.
A radio show is a format, but so is a personal one-on-one mentoring session.
A podcast is a format, but so is webinar.
….the list goes on.
&nbsp;
Delivery
Yet the publisher’s role is more…
It begins with shepherding ideas, developing concepts and moulding content into suitable formats. 
But publishers have one more job and that is to deliver. 
Readers (though I do mean consumers) are hungry for big ideas. The problem is, though these ideas currently exist, the Internet disperses and fragments them. 
The publisher’s role is to act as an aggregator.
The publisher needs to help the concept discover its audience.
Marketing is completely the wrong term. This is not about convincing readers/consumers to pay attention to something they don’t really want or need. 
Social media is too simplistic a term. Publishers are not about building networks (though they may have to).
This is delivery.
Yes, Twitter helps, as does Facebook, but it is more. 
Publishers must find readers/consumers. 
Hunt them down…
The consumers who are ready to listen to these ideas are already in packs - groups - communities. 
A publisher’s new role is to find these groups, go to them and speak their language. 
This may be a podcast or a webinar or a Facebook page…but equally it may be an advert in a newspaper, a billboard on the tube or a TV commercial.
There are no rules. 
&nbsp;
Pride
This is a new publishing model, yet it is as old as the printing press. This is a model where dangerous ideas and radical thinking are at home. This is a model that focuses on the edges, not the centre. 
This is a model that will change the world. 
The new model re-establishes publishing as a noble profession. It changes publishers from product producers to idea spreaders. 
It makes them dangerous. 
Imagine a world where publishers once again upset Kings, displace dictators, and even cause the Pope to worry. 
&nbsp;
Thanks very much to&nbsp;Gary for taking the time to write&nbsp;this post.
And thanks very much to you for taking the time to read it.&nbsp; We love to hear your ideas and to have your comments.&nbsp; 
So when are you going to publish your book?&nbsp; Don't forget, the last (meaningful!)comment posted here by the end of Wednesday 28th of April, 2010 (UK time) will get a fantastic free place on Gary's book proposal course.&nbsp; So please do post your comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=68</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 23 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>I'm annoyed if you aren't on Twitter.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; Eliya
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
I'm very pleased to have this post from Reallygood Thinking guest professor Ann Hawkins, Business Mentor from The Inspired Group.&nbsp; You can find Ann here&nbsp;at ClickOnMyFace.TV&nbsp;and here at AnnHawkins.com.
&nbsp;
Ann Hawkins (She's on Twitter too ya know!)
I’m annoyed if you aren’t on Twitter.
And I’m annoyed that if you are on Twitter you hide behind a company name or a company logo.
And I’m annoyed if you auto tweet, especially Direct Messages. 
Why? 
Because human beings need human interaction (it's third on Maslow’s list after basic survival and safety).
Some of us are happy just to connect with people we already know but that’s a bit like living in a small village before the bicycle was invented – safe and predictable but also stifling and with little room to explore new ideas.
Some of us only want to get to know people we’re introduced to but that’s a bit like saying because you don’t know someone I know I don’t want to know you (if you see what I mean.)
Of all the Social Networks Twitter is the most exciting because it has an element of random connections. 
It sweeps away barriers of time and place and status and race and everything else. People connect only because they find someone else interesting. 
Those 140 characters are very revealing. They show the funny, generous, boring, selfish, weird, nasty, wonderful aspects of people and there is no-where to hide. Our stream of Tweets is there for anyone to see and is often the first thing that shows up if someone Googles us.
Why does it annoy me if you aren’t on Twitter? 
You are a unique human being and may bring sunshine and laughter to my life. How will I ever meet you if you’re not already in my circle of contacts and you’re not on Twitter? I won’t. I’ll miss you and that’s why I get annoyed. 
Making new friends is wonderful.
Finding new ideas is wonderful.
Laughing till you ache is wonderful.
Getting a glimpse into someone else’s world is wonderful. 
Sharing stuff is wonderful.&nbsp; 

Picture credit:&nbsp; David Spender
All this used to be available to us only with a lot of effort by organising parties (then you risk the bore), or waiting to be introduced (then looking for an escape). Ending up in the same place at the same time as someone amazing was a rare treat. 
Now, not only can we make connections with a huge variety of real people at almost anytime.....
....we can have conversations with them and see how they interact with other people and how they react to us without a façade of polite interest getting in the way. 
You can just be you, with your own ideas and opinions and see who finds them interesting. 
If anyone does it's not because they’re trying to ingratiate themselves – they’re strangers. It’s not because they think they need to be polite – they’re strangers. No-one has an axe to grind. No-one remembers you from school. Auntie Jean isn’t giving you pitying looks. Your old girlfriend isn’t going to start showing photos. You’re free to be you. 
Some people say it’s a virtual world. I think it’s more real than many of the empty conversations that people have in ‘real’ life. 
If you’re not on Twitter, get started and stop depriving the rest of us of the chance to get to know you. 
If you are on Twitter, be yourself and don’t hide behind a corporate identity. 
(And if you auto tweet – get real! Cos auto tweeting's a&nbsp;bit like sending a recording of yourself to a party and expecting to pull!) 
&nbsp;
Thanks very much to Ann for taking the time to write&nbsp;this post.
And thanks very much to you for taking the time to read it.&nbsp; We love to hear your ideas and to have your comments.&nbsp; So who are you missing from Twitter?&nbsp; Or are you not a Tweeter?&nbsp; Why not?&nbsp; See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=67</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 13 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Ian Aspin's video and video blogs for Reallygood Thinking</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Think Better. Feel Better. Take an Aspin.
&nbsp;
Shift Happens: Arts, Learning and Technology 




13 February 2010 — Shift Happens: ALT Shift [Arts | Learning | Technology] will be happening again on 5th &amp; 6th July 2010
Dare you ask this question? Part 2. 



21 May 2010 — Big question....big rewards. 

Dare you ask yourself this question? Part 1 



19 May 2010 — A really big question that's gotta be asked. 
&nbsp;

72,000 followers on Twitter and all I've got to show for it.....



17 May 2010 — 72,000 followers on Twitter and all I've got to show for it is this amazing community of brilliant, smart, caring, world changers! 

&nbsp;
Tale of Two Communities: Where would you prefer to live? 



16 May 2010 — Make your community more appealing than a kebab after a Friday night pub crawl. 
&nbsp;

Surprised by open mindedness 


15 May 2010 — How a speaking gig challenged my thinking. 
&nbsp;
Do we ask ourselves "Why" when we do stuff? 


09 May 2010 — Reallygoodthinking idea for biz and life. "Start with Why", thanks to Simon Sinek. 
&nbsp;
What pain is our business helping ease?



08 May 2010 — Ian Aspin from reallygood thinking with a sensationally simple biz idea that could make a massive difference for us. 
&nbsp;
One Thing 



16 February 2010 — So many people are already doing this. 
&nbsp;

Reallygood Thinking Thanks!



15 February 2010 — Thanks to everyone who has connected with Reallygood Thinking, much love, Ian Aspin.
&nbsp;
The magic non-crystal ball idea machine 



14 February 2010 — The non-crystal ball of ideas. 
&nbsp;
Some of the reallygood thinking ideas and keywords:&nbsp; meaning purpose passion business biz clarity why asking questions focus declutter unclutter clutter free rethink rethinking goals "start with why" big picture good thinking think positive remarkable kindness caring love generosity vision what matters shift happens conference york vlogging video blog blogging twitter digital connectedness connected ]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=66</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 13 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Stuff Your Stuff!</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture: Manolo Blanik
How much stuff have you got?
&nbsp;
If you're a married fella, think of your wife's sister's husband. Do you reckon you earn more than him? No? Well you better get on with it cos your in-laws are probably comparing your worth and social status to his. 
Perhaps you'll never have as much stuff and therefore you might not measure up.
If you're a woman, well, how much stuff have you got compared to other women&nbsp;your age?
What about your best mate? Have you got more than her? No? Well, you may be thought of as inferior. Well, unless she's less atrractive than you. But anyway, your looks wont last, so you're doomed anyway.
OK so, you need to work hard, or smart, or hard and smart, or just be a crook, to get all that stuff so you can compare favourably to others on all the "stuff scales".
Go on, bust a gut. 
Then, when you've got all that stuff, find people who have more stuff, and compare yourself to them. 
Then, feel socially inferior. 
Then, work even harder, earn even more, spend even more, borrow more, get even more stuff, and then you can feel a bit superior again.
Repeat. 
Make it all bigger. 
Get more and more stuff. 
Hang out with folk who have even more stuff. Feel slighly inferior and insecure again. That's what'll push you on to bigger and better, and that's what'll get you more stuff. 
Oh yea, and all the while, you need to keep buying bigger and bigger homes in which to put all this stuff. 
Oh yea, and don't forget to spend lots of time and money protecting and looking after all that stuff too. 
Oh yea, and don't forget to spend lots of mental energy worrying about it all.&nbsp; 
Repeat this forever.
Or......
....you can just say: 
"STUFF THE STUFF" 
and go and do something meaningful, useful, or interesting with your life instead.&nbsp; Or go and make a difference for someone who has no stuff at all.
HAVE LESS. ENJOY MORE.&nbsp;


Maybe George Carlin, were he still with us, would say "stuff the stuff" too!]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=65</link>
  <pubDate>Wed, 24 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Sweeten your life with the 'Domino Effect'.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; ktylerconk
&nbsp;
Last Monday night I was sitting by the fire in a cosy pub.&nbsp; 
Soon I was unable to catch my breath.
The two funny blokes I'd met in an earlier biz meeting - one with a long, odd looking face, the other in a conspicuously fashionable suit -&nbsp; had got me laughing so hard it was painful.
I'd been feeling crappy with a shockingly snotty cold and hadn't wanted to go out.&nbsp; 
But I had to.&nbsp; 
A colleague had arranged that biz meeting and it was important.
So running into those two blokes for a few beers, great conversation, and a good laugh was an unexpected pleasure, the best kind.
Two days later, I was at a&nbsp;funeral.
I was expecting the occasion to be solemn but it was a joyful celebration of a life well-lived.
I&nbsp;got chatting with a rectangular shaped fella with hairy hands.&nbsp; I imagined his feet were even more woolly, just like Bilbo Baggins'.&nbsp; Anyway, it turned out he was someone I'd met already:&nbsp; thirteen years ago when I was a reporter I'd interviewed him about his first film.
Now, he wants to help me with a project I've got coming up.&nbsp; Despite his hairy hands, I reckon he might&nbsp;just be what it needs.
Two separate occasions.&nbsp; Two "domino effects".&nbsp; 
Who knows where those relationships will lead?&nbsp; What effects will they cause?&nbsp; 
I've no idea, but&nbsp;they seem positive.

Picture credit:&nbsp; kooklanekookla
Now imagine what can happen when we put this "domino effect" on acid!
Well ya know that's what happens every day when we talk to people online?&nbsp; 
Our digital connectedness amplifies the possibility of creating massive waves of "effects" from the "causes" we initiate.&nbsp; So, instead of one face-to-face conversation with someone at a party, on social networks our conversation could be seen (or heard) by thousands of people.&nbsp; 
Imagine the knock-on effects.&nbsp; 
Mind blowing.&nbsp; 
That thing we do, when we put ourselves "out there" could be just the thing someone else "out there" needs.&nbsp; And what's more, they might want to pay us money for that thing we do, or spread it to hundreds of people, or help us in some way.
The idea isn't as difficult to grasp as say, organic chemistry, but it's just as important.
Remember, there are things that absolutely CAN'T happen UNLESS we feel the fear, and PUT OURSELVES and our IDEAS "OUT THERE" anyway.
So we won't change the world for the better&nbsp;UNLESS we take risks and set in motion positive "domino effects". 
That's why this stuff matters.
&nbsp;
OK.&nbsp; GO!&nbsp;



&nbsp;
So there's a thing going on here:&nbsp; one thing sets another in motion, and another, and ..........
.....and through the "domino effect" one might stumble upon something unexpectedly good: that's serendipity!
This morning, Gemma Went, of Red Cube Marketing&nbsp;shared a good post by Adam Cohen called "Return on Serendipity".&nbsp; In it he quotes John Hagel&nbsp; who says individuals and businesses "can increase the opportunity to achieve serendipity.&nbsp; What’s your serendipity strategy?" .&nbsp; 
Worth thinking about?&nbsp; 
There are more ideas too in this post from Rachel Happe: 5 Ways to Orchestrate Serendipity. 
For me, it's just about enjoying the potential and possibility of mutually beneficial relationships.&nbsp; They&nbsp; come from connecting with all kinds of good people, to help each other make a positive difference in the world.&nbsp; 
That's it.&nbsp; 
And who knows what good stuff's about to happen when we put ourselves "out there"?
&nbsp;
Love hearing your thoughts.&nbsp; And by leaving a comment here, you might get some surprising new friends (I think Warren Buffet and Lady Gaga read ReallygoodThinking too ya know!).&nbsp; See ya in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=64</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 22 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>The Age of Absurdity: We're in it, but we don't have to buy into it!</title>
  <description><![CDATA[&nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp; JamiesRabbits
When I was a kid I discovered something amazing. &nbsp;A golden treasure.&nbsp; A most wonderful thing that's defined my life and made it infinitely richer.&nbsp;Look at it another way, and that beautiful gift has been a pain in the arse.&nbsp;
It's helped me fit in, get on, and do well.&nbsp; It's also made me stand out, fall out, and go against the flow.&nbsp; It's&nbsp;gently nudged me into a life that leans more&nbsp;toward non-conformity.&nbsp;I'm talking about my constant tendency to ask questions.
Big questions. &nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp; h.koppdelaney 
"Why do we do that?"&nbsp; "What's the point?"&nbsp; "Who says that matters?"&nbsp; "Where's the evidence that thing you say is important really is?"&nbsp; "How does doing this make us happy?"&nbsp;On and on.&nbsp; Non-stop.&nbsp; Day in.&nbsp; Day out.&nbsp;Hey, I'm not looking for conflict or to be awkward.&nbsp; 
Not at all.&nbsp; 
Like the folk in our ReallygoodThinking.com community I want to help build a kinder, more caring world.&nbsp; 
I love people.&nbsp; 
I want to work with as many good folk as possible to&nbsp;make&nbsp;something great together, don't you?&nbsp;But can you see how this constant questioning's got me into all kinds of trouble?&nbsp;The other night I was at a media biz dinner and I kept thinking:
"Why do so many people talk bullshit about things that don't matter?".&nbsp;&nbsp;"Why do they&nbsp;elevate meaningless, mundane, empty ideas to such high positions?".&nbsp; 
"Will they ever wake up and see they're missing the point and failing to spot the truly good stuff life offers us right now?".&nbsp; "What if I'm asleep to&nbsp;important things too, and I just don't know it?".&nbsp;&nbsp;Questions.&nbsp; 
Questions.&nbsp; 
Questions. &nbsp;
I know exactly what Michael Foley means as he delightfully describes some of the silliest, most misguided ideas of our so called "advanced" cultures in his crackin' new book "The Age of Absurdity:&nbsp; Why Modern Life Makes it Hard to be Happy".&nbsp;"Hey Michael, I hear you man!
This is "The Age of Absurdity".&nbsp; I'm here.&nbsp; I'm in it.&nbsp; But I don't buy into it.
What Michael's saying (and some'll think he's smacking them in the face, and some'll say he nails the problem but offers no really deep, workable solutions, and some'll say he delivers well-judged wisdom!)&nbsp;is that modern life has made us dummies: it's retarded our capacity to seek understanding.
Whatever anyone else says, I say Michael Foley&nbsp;takes us on a fascinating journey uncovering common threads connecting our thinking about happiness and meaning throughout the ages.&nbsp; 
He finds ideas shared by philosophy, spiritual teachings, and contemporary psychology.&nbsp; He&nbsp;finds Christ and Buddha, Marx and Freud, Spinoza and Nietzsche, Joyce and Proust, and a dollop of what we currently know from brain experts about how our minds work.
And when&nbsp;we throw all that against the wall, guess what sticks?
That&nbsp;pretty much&nbsp;everything about our contemporary, consumerist, me-centred living, goes against the flow of almost all intelligent human thinking - a consensus of thousands of years, right up to the present.
Michael Foley reckons it's difficult to apply this consensus of what's good for us since modern life has massively devalued these attitudes in favour of the vacuous pursuit of the superficial.&nbsp; 
"The Age of Absurdity" is a good read.&nbsp; I love Michael Foley's humour,&nbsp;surprising observations, and great writing style.&nbsp; 
He was on a radio programme (here from 17 mins 54 secs) recently talking about the bright ideas that can help us move closer to the good life and guess what?&nbsp; They really do sound like words from another world.
Personal responsibility? detachment? humility? autonomy? the pursuit of understanding? acceptance of difficulty? awareness of mortality?&nbsp; 
You seldom&nbsp;hear that stuff at the bar of the Whippet and Whistle do ya?
I'm not necessarily saying we should&nbsp;be talking constantly about these ideas, nor do I think there's any reason&nbsp;to think of them as austere.&nbsp; 
But heck, if some of the smartest people on earth have concluded they're&nbsp;generally good for us, maybe we should give 'em a bit more room don't ya think?
Or, forget all that hard stuff:&nbsp; let's just go back to our consumerist sleep-walk, keep missing the point, and losing out on all the goodness that's there for us.
Personally, I'm gonna follow my DNA and carry on letting my questions get me in trouble, and perhaps a bit closer to what matters.
I'll take comfort from Mark Twain who said "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect".
And whilst Michael Foley's given us an admirable, witty, and perceptive&nbsp;analysis of our modern problem, I'm going to focus on finding alternatives that give us hope for a more nourishing future. 

Picture credit:&nbsp; sfjalar
Hang on though, here's a final thought:&nbsp; I am not alone.
By connecting with thousands of people across the globe who're asking similar questions, I've discovered so many champions saying:
"Yes, this may be "The Age of Absurdity" (or not!) but I'm choosing a different way.&nbsp; I'm not buying into that empty self-centred, ungrateful, never-satisfied, always wanting more, more, more, thoughtless lifestyle.&nbsp; 
Not me.&nbsp; 
I'm using my time and talents to serve others, to make meaning, and to make a difference".&nbsp; 
Wow.&nbsp; That's you!&nbsp; And I am delighted to meet you! 
&nbsp;
Thanks so much for connecting.&nbsp; I love it that you bothered to read this and I love hearing what you think.&nbsp; Have you read "The Age of Absurdity"?&nbsp; As always, please let me know what's on your mind.&nbsp;&nbsp;Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=63</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>ALT:Shift Video.  At some events, you simply get a better class of punter. Or, 'How to cope in a world changing faster than Lady Gaga's wardrobe'.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit: Tom Rhodes Photography
&nbsp; 
Shift Happens: Arts Learning Technology from Shift Happens on Vimeo.
You know how some conferences are just plain stuffy? 
And you know how sometimes they're jam packed with egos on acid?
And you know how some so-called "top" speakers just show up, do their talk, then bugger off?
If you're cool with that, OK, fine. Go to those kinds of conferences if that's what you want.
But if you want something different............
..........something fun, where you'll be part of a friendly, welcoming, and thoroughly lively community of smart people, then I reckon you'd be hard pressed to find a UK based event better than ALT:Shift - Shift Happens 2010. 
(Yes, I'm going to be speaking there this time, but at last year's Shift, I turned up and though I hadn't met anyone before, I soon discovered great people who are now good friends.)

Picture credit:&nbsp; BenYupp
The thing is the world (on-line and off) is changing faster than Lady Gaga's wardrobe. 
If we want to stand any chance of making sense of it we need to learn from each other, hear the best thinking on some of the most exciting developments of our time, and do stuff together.&nbsp; Whatever&nbsp;we want to do with our lives,&nbsp;ALT: Shift will help us discover&nbsp;possibilities, connections, and tools to help push us further on.
Oh yes, that sounds dramatic, but think about it, the internet has hardly reached puberty and it's changing the universe as we know it! (Is that dramatic enough for ya!)
And we aint seen nothing yet! 
So ALT:Shift in York, UK 5th and 6th of July this year could be just the thing to help: great ideas, lots of opportunity to make real connections - friendships - and&nbsp;chat with expert contributors who don't just run off after they've said their bit.
Go here&nbsp;and get yourself&nbsp;some ALT: Shift goodness.
Shift Happens Launch Slide Show 
View more presentations from Pilot Theatre.
&nbsp;
Are you going to ALT: Shift in York, England this year?&nbsp;Have you been to Shift Happens before?&nbsp; Do drop by and say hello.&nbsp; I always love to hear your thoughts and ideas.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=62</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 19 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How many chances did we grab by the whatsits today?  None? We could be boring ourselves to death.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[&nbsp;
Picture credit: LaserGuided&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Have I told you about my mate Gaz?
Gaz is always turning up and telling me great tales of adventure, discovery, and amazing bargains he's picked up here and there.
Watch this gorgeous film and see if it gives you any clues as to why Gaz is generally so lucky. 


A Thousand Words from Ted Chung on Vimeo.
Nothing is said in the film, but it's a lovely story directed by Ted Chung. 
Ted asks "Every day: so many opportunities to connect...what if you took just one?".
Well?&nbsp; Go on then.......ask...."What if everyday, we took just one opportunity to make a meaningful connection?".
Before I tell you about my mate Gaz, think about this:
Back in the seventies, an economist called Tibor Scitovsky wrote a book called "The Joyless Economy:&nbsp; An Inquiry Into Human Satisfaction and Consumer Dissatisfaction".&nbsp; He wanted to explain why people, even though all their material needs were met, were still unhappy.
Do you know what Scitovsky had discovered?&nbsp; 
BOREDOM!
People had chosen to shoot for comfort instead of stimulation.&nbsp; Sound familiar?&nbsp; 
Many of the unhappy people Scitovsky studied had not found engagement with interests outside their work.&nbsp; 
I know people like that, do you?
I also know a few who've found passions outside their work but they're too knackered to enjoy them when they're not working.&nbsp; 
In pursuit of more - more of the stuff that doesn't truly nourish us, that we don't really need, and that no one even cares we've got - they've lost the chance to explore what really makes them feel alive.&nbsp; They're missing the chance to find a bigger sense of meaning, purpose, and satisfaction.
Oh and what do ya think about this?&nbsp; - The more bored we are, the more likely we are to die early.&nbsp; 

Picture credit:&nbsp; Sillygwailo
That's according to a study to be published in the International Journal of Epidemiology&nbsp;later this year.
It's not that boredom on its own is likely to kill us (though I've a neighbour - I can't possible name names - who makes it nearly possible: she can make a kebab turn in its pita), but research suggests bored people are more likely to indulge in all sorts of risky behavior, and have lifestyles less conducive to good health.&nbsp; 
So, if we are bored, it's probable we may be more likely to drink excessively, smoke, take drugs, and so on to ease the dullness!&nbsp; Oh yea, and experts also suggested a link between boredom and increased heart problems is possible – if not a direct one.&nbsp; 
Though these are preliminary findings, they do show boredom isn't good for our health generally.
What's all this got to do with my mate Gaz, a lost camera, and two people fancying each other on a train?
There are links between boredom, the pursuit of comfort over passion, not taking chances, not making meaningful stuff happen, and ending up mostly a passenger in life, rather than a driver.
Question:&nbsp; Do we want to be just a spectator? An observer?&nbsp; Or a player (in a good sense!)?
What about you?&nbsp; Are you someone who has things happen to you?&nbsp; Or are you someone who happens to things (ask Scott, The Nametag Guy)?
You know my mate Gaz? He gets off his arse and he happens to things.&nbsp; He's never bored for long.&nbsp; He asks people to help him get stuff done and make things happen.&nbsp; He doesn't sit around waiting, increasing his comfortable numbness instead of finding passion and purpose.&nbsp; Oh no, he's out there.&nbsp; He's happening to things.&nbsp; Week in.&nbsp;&nbsp; Week out.
And how many things has he tried and failed?&nbsp; Loads!&nbsp; The guy's sometimes been called an embarrassment!&nbsp; 
But on the whole, his successes are ganging up on his failures and driving 'em out of town.&nbsp; He's learned loads and his mistakes are less and less.&nbsp; 
But how did he manage to get a fantastic, near perfect seventies BMW coupe for just a couple of grand?
Because for several years, he asked everyone he knew if they knew anyone with a similar car he could buy.&nbsp; He made lots of offers on similar cars.&nbsp; Most people told him to get stuffed.&nbsp; Then, one day, someone said yes and Gaz got his pristine motor.
Still calling him a lucky sod?&nbsp; Didn't think so.

And he's been so moved by what's happening to the people of Haiti, he's working hard to get everyone he knows to give not just a few pounds they'll not miss, but he's encouraging them to give two, three, maybe five times what they would have under their own steam.&nbsp; 
What a guy!&nbsp; I'm proud to have a mate like that.&nbsp; Yes, he can be a dick, but he's fully alive, taking risks, reaching out to really connect and care, and he's making a difference.&nbsp; 
I want to be like that.
And what about the geezer on the train in the lovely film I showed you?
Well, you know the score, he went out there and cycled around that city, and eventually, he found a way to contact the girl who left her camera on the train.
Hey it's just a film, and we don't know if the girl ever got his message or if she got in touch.&nbsp; But still, that guy got out of his comfort zone and created the circumstances for the possibility of something good happening (if ya don't know what the heck I'm on about go and watch the film! It's very good.).
So let me ask again: "How many chances did we grab by the whatsits today?".&nbsp; 
Did we push ourselves outside that mundane but safe comfort zone?&nbsp; Did we feel our hearts race and excitement rush through our system as we took a little risk toward something new? Something bigger?&nbsp; More interesting? Kinder?&nbsp; And did we take any of those scary opportunities to truly connect?&nbsp; 
No?&nbsp; Then perhaps we're boring ourselves to death.
&nbsp;
If you found this post helpful, more here:
Forget perfect. Go for remarkable. Oh, and when we see these words hanging out together, we'll get a big stick and smash 'em to bits.
&nbsp;
Caring, AKA 'giving a crap': Why it can make all the difference in our connected world.
&nbsp;
I really appreciate hearing what you think.&nbsp; Please let me know your thoughts and ideas.&nbsp; I want to know how you break out of comfort zones, take risks, and reach out to others.&nbsp; Tell me what drives you to be remarkable and to make a difference.&nbsp; See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=60</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 9 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Shift Happened.  Shift is Happening Again.  ALT Shift (Arts, Learning, and Technology) 2010.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[&nbsp;
Picture courtesy of Tom Rhodes Photography
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
If I could go to just one&nbsp;event in the UK this year, it'd be ALT Shift at the York Theatre Royal this coming July.
Why? 
Well not just because I'm one of the speakers and there'll be lots of outstanding content to help us on our digital way, but because the "Shift Happens" community contains some of the loveliest, most interesting and helpful people you'll find anywhere!
Really, it's true. 
Some conferences have that stuffy, up-their-own-backsides kinda feel...you know what I mean.&nbsp; Not Shift. 
The friendliness, enthusiasm for ideas, and desire to learn from each other creates a very appealing atmosphere.
So, book yourself a place at Shift 2010 and if you spot me first, you can buy me a pint. If I spot you first, you can buy me a pint.
Anyway, enough about you, here's more about me. 
Actually it's a video of me chatting with Hannah Rudman (@hannahrudman) and then Marcus Romer (@marcusromer) at Shift Happens 2.0 (@shift_happens) last summer.


Hannah Rudman And Marcus Romer from Reallygood Pictures on Vimeo.
So, the ALT Shift programme launches live on Friday 22nd January at c4c York St John University in York. If you'd like to&nbsp;go it's free and runs from 6pm - 8pm. Please let Katherine Jewkes know by dropping her an email - katherine@pilot-theatre.com - katherine (at) pilot-theatre.com I think there's still time.
It'll be great if you can join us for a drink, some grub, and great networking opportunities.
The Shift team will let us know more about the event in July - the fantastic speakers include Sir Ken Robinson. Jonathan Harris (www.wefeelfine.org) , Alice Greenwald, Tom Loosemore, and many others (including me! me! me! - I hear Sir Ken is really excited to be on the same bill!) that they'll reveal on the 22nd. This year the ALT Shift theme will be Arts/Learning/Technology.
Shift Happens is co-ordinated, programmed and run by Pilot Theatre in partnership with York Theatre Royal.
For more details about Friday evening's launch, or the July conference, please check out www.Shift-Happens.co.uk
They'll also be streamed live online on www.pilot-theatre.tv 
&nbsp;
If you're interested in these ideas about digital connectedness and how it affects us, you'll also like: Shift Happened. Shift's Happening. Shift Will Happen. But it's all about conversation.
As always, thanks very much for reading this post. I'd love to see you on Friday in York, or even better, for the full ALT Shift in the summer. Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=58</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How the hell did I get so lucky?</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture courtesy:&nbsp; British Red Cross
&nbsp;
I woke up this morning.&nbsp;Got out of bed.&nbsp;Put on the cosy slippers my in-laws gave me for Christmas and went to my lovely seven year old son's room to wake him in time for school.&nbsp;My fabulous wife came in with our beautiful six month old baby and we all went downstairs for breakfast.&nbsp;Quite a normal scene repeated in millions of homes across the world.&nbsp;But what if we were living in Haiti, hit by a devastating earthquake?&nbsp;&nbsp;
How would our world look this morning?&nbsp; 
Incomprehensible suffering.&nbsp;How would we feel to lose the people we love most?&nbsp; 
Would we lose all hope?&nbsp;I don't know.&nbsp; I have no clue.&nbsp; The situation looks hopeless.&nbsp; I can't bear thinking about being in those circumstances.&nbsp;But here I am.&nbsp; &nbsp;My wife and children are safe.&nbsp; We have our home.&nbsp; We have clean water and plenty to eat.&nbsp; And should we need it, we'll get medical attention.&nbsp;All our needs are met.&nbsp;I feel lucky.&nbsp; Very lucky.&nbsp; 
And as far as anyone can tell, it's largely&nbsp;because of the random act of being born in one of the world's richest and most stable countries.
Like millions of people around our planet, I feel I want to do something to help the people of Haiti.
I know my capacity to make a difference and ease their pain is negligible.&nbsp;But....... 

Picture courtesy:&nbsp; XOZ&nbsp;&nbsp;Our collective global caring is making a difference in ways we may never know.&nbsp;There are lots of places we can give money but here's the British Red Cross Haiti Earthquake Appeal site.&nbsp;Just looking at all I have.&nbsp; I ask myself again "how the hell did I get so lucky?".&nbsp; &nbsp;I don't know.
But I'm grateful.
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Thanks for reading.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.
]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=56</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Is your inner voice trying to tell you something?  Then jump up and listen!  Thinking Beyond Limits with Kevin Kelly.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Image credit:&nbsp; vramak
&nbsp;
I'm very pleased to have this post from Reallygood Thinking guest professor Kevin Kelly,&nbsp;an Internationally Acclaimed Motivational Speaker and best selling author.&nbsp; Kevin's&nbsp;just launched his new book “Basics before Buzz – managing in challenging times”.
&nbsp;
In 1996, my intuition was telling me to write a best-selling personal excellence book. 
To start the process, I printed “I am a Best Selling author” and “Manuscript finished by May 28th” and placed the A4 sheets on the back of my office door and over my workspace.
My friends and business colleagues highlighted the obvious obstacles that lay ahead:
English was not my strongest subject. In my final examination, I earned just a very poor ‘D’ grade. 
Writing and speaking are two very different disciplines, and I had no experience of writing. 
Famous American writers predominantly controlled the self-help market.
There was also a view that I was too young to be taken seriously, and we didn’t even discuss how I was going to find a publisher or motivate people to buy my book!
It’s fair to say that the prevailing ‘wisdom’ was against my adventure, but with trust in my heart, I swam against this considerable tide to honour my inner whispers.
You see things; and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" 
George Bernard Shaw
My focus remained on the dream, believing as always that the map would appear in time.

Over the next week and months, people turned up, doors opened and opportunities presented themselves until, by May 28th, the manuscript was finished!
To date “How? When You Don’t Know How” has been a mega best seller. Mission accomplished.
It is important to note that right throughout the process I continued to focus on my dream and worked continuously to convert it into reality. This meant that no matter what town I visited, I called to bookshops to merchandise and sign books. Furthermore, I initiated publicity in all my target regions, and never missed an opportunity to tell people about the book. 
Commitment counts! 
Your logical, left-brain mind will always give you enough reasons not to act on your gut feelings. No matter what your dream is, you will always find enough reasons not to act. 
Whether or not you are aware of it, you have access to an intelligence far greater than that which is available through your conscious mind: your intuition. 
Trusting and following your intuition, gut feeling, sixth sense, hunch - or whatever you want to call it – is an integral part of reaching your full potential, personally and professionally. In my own life, my intuition is my compass.
&nbsp;
If you liked this, you'll love ATTENTION ALL EMERGING SUPERHEROES! It's a great time to be on this planet!
Cheers for reading this post.&nbsp; I'd love to hear what you think, and if you've any great tips for seizing the balls of life and following your intuition.&nbsp;&nbsp;I appreciate your comments so much so please go for it and let me know what's on your mind.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=54</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 8 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Think Pink and Drive!  Why we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery, and purpose.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[
Picture credit: ricardo-pereira 

Two simple questions that can change our life.





&nbsp;
I've learned loads from Dan Pink's work. He's a great thinker and writer, as well as being a very nice chap. I'm really pleased to suggest his new book "Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us".
You'll find him at www.danpink.com and on Twitter @danielpink and here he is talking about motivation on NPR Radio.

COCKTAIL PARTY SUMMARY of Dan's "Drive" (via www.danpink.com)
When it comes to motivation, there’s a gap between what science knows and what business does. 
Our current business operating system–which is built around external, carrot-and-stick motivators–doesn’t work and often does harm. 
We need an upgrade. And the science shows the way. 
This new approach has three essential elements: 
1. Autonomy – the desire to direct our own lives. 
2. Mastery — the urge to get better and better at something that matters. 
3. Purpose — the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves.
TWITTER SUMMARY
Carrots &amp; sticks are so last century. 
Drive says for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery &amp; purpose.




Hope you enjoy Dan's new book and the great content on his Twitter feed and blog. As always, I love your comments and thoughts. Please let me know what you think of Pink and what you've learned about motivation, brevity, storytelling, and all the other good stuff. Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=52</link>
  <pubDate>Wed, 6 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How to get a smaller arse, and a nicer personality, in 29 days.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; GerryT
&nbsp;
Wouldn't it be great if you could just end the struggle and get some real results?
That thought comes to mind in almost every area of our lives where we feel we "should" do a particular thing(s), but keep failing.&nbsp; &nbsp;Well I reckon I've jumped into one particular battle and won it big-style, and it's had a huge impact on other things too.&nbsp; You already know what I'm going to say:&nbsp; it was the battle to get physically active after a lifetime of lardy laziness that made all the difference.
A few days ago I talked about how I lost 50 pounds and got shed loads of extra energy in just a few months.&nbsp; I wanted to remind myself, and anyone else who might benefit, how I got started and made changes that have actually "stuck" for more than two years now.
Today's the third of January.&nbsp; &nbsp;If you do what I'm suggesting, starting today, there's a good chance you'll have a noticeably smaller arse by the end of the month!
But first, a few questions to get really, really clear on.
1)&nbsp; Do you really want a smaller arse?&nbsp; (a smaller bum generally means you'll also loose flab from other places too).

Picture credit:&nbsp;jkavo 
2)&nbsp; And if so, why?&nbsp; This is very important.&nbsp; &nbsp;Why do you want one?&nbsp; I mean do you really want to lose weight?&nbsp; Why?&nbsp; Where's that desire coming from?&nbsp; What's so special about losing a few pounds?&nbsp; What are our reasons?
Having very clear reasons for wanting to do a thing, positioning it carefully in the bigger picture of what we're about and where we want to go in life, is one of the keys to motivation and making lasting changes.&nbsp;So, let's not give ourselves flaky answers that we haven't really thought about.&nbsp; Get real:&nbsp; what's the actual pay-off for having a smaller arse?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp; timparkinson
For me, losing weight was initially about: &nbsp;A)&nbsp; knowing I'd look better (wondering what it might be like to not look like crap at the beach or swimming pool);&nbsp;B) wanting more energy to get all my stuff done and to be generally less tired;&nbsp; &nbsp;C)&nbsp; I wanted to know what it'd be like, for the first time in my life, to be fit!&nbsp; 
Now, more than two years after I took up running for weight loss, I love it for its own sake too, it is a thing of beauty, pleasure, and it lifts the spirits on a daily basis.&nbsp; If you've never established the habit of regular fast movement, you probably won't get what I'm on about.&nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp; mikebaird
You see I'd heard that fit and active people just "feel better".&nbsp; &nbsp;And I'd heard that as well as feeling better, getting active had all kinds of knock-on effects including clearer thinking, less stress, more happiness - smashing things indeed.&nbsp; I just wanted to experience that wonderful sense of vitality.&nbsp; I'd imagined, if I could just get to a certain fitness point, I'd enjoy life on a higher level.&nbsp; &nbsp;I don't know if you've ever thought "maybe there's something that experts know, that if I just discovered it, and applied that knowledge, I'd be dramatically transformed and all my glorious potential would finally be released"?&nbsp; &nbsp;I have.&nbsp; Have you?&nbsp; &nbsp;Well anyway, so far, I've discovered no such thing!&nbsp; BUT, I honestly think getting moving fairly fast on a regular basis, for physically inactive people like I was, may well be the NEAREST thing we'll find to a kind of natural magic!&nbsp;So that brings us to this next question:&nbsp; &nbsp;3)&nbsp; Is this smaller-arse-package-deal really worth the price we'll have to pay to get it?&nbsp; (and when I say smaller-arse-package I mean smaller-any-fat-thing-you-like, looking-better-more-energy-fitness-feeling-better-clearer-thinking-less-stress-more-happiness-higher-plane-vitality-smashingness!)

Picture credit:&nbsp; peter becker
So go on, really think about it.&nbsp; &nbsp;Is all that goodness worth the price we have to pay to get it?&nbsp; &nbsp;You know my answer already! For me it is YES!&nbsp; YES! and thrice YES!&nbsp;The thing is, the price we pay AIN'T THAT MUCH FOR WHAT WE GET!&nbsp; I've found the biggest thing needed is a change of attitude:&nbsp; think "can-do", rather than "this is gonna be really tough, most people fail, I'm not sure I'll keep it up".&nbsp;Instead, let's settle in our own heads that we are "make-up-our-minds-and-make-it-happen-kinda-people".&nbsp; When we decide we want something that fits our life's bigger purpose, we find a way, right?.&nbsp; We build desire and destroy doubt. We ignore slip-ups, backsliding, mistakes, and we just get on with it!&nbsp; Oh yea, and we set it up so we ENJOY the process too.&nbsp;The trick here is to just start!&nbsp; Start small!&nbsp; Say "boll ox" to a heavy schedule of unrealistic targets.&nbsp; We said we'd get real, didn't we?&nbsp;So here's what I know that helped me get all the benefits I've outlined, and more.

Picture credit:&nbsp; marktollerman
Remember, I'm not an expert so you must check this stuff out properly for yourself.&nbsp; You must discover what's right for you personally - it's up to you to get proper medical advice where necessary.&nbsp; All I'm suggesting are these raw ideas that did the biz for me,&nbsp; I'd say the same to any of my mates if they asked.
It's widely accepted that getting moving fast, raising our heart rate, for at least 15-20 minutes most days is good for us.&nbsp; We know that.&nbsp; 
Though there's some discussion about the amount and intensity the average adult needs in order to max out the benefits (see here, and here), I'm going to show you what I did that will at least help you start building a great habit, and feeling better.&nbsp; 
Oh yea, if you feel better and get more energy, do you think that'll also improve your mood?&nbsp; I think so!&nbsp; And if your mood improves, your going to have a nicer personality, right?
Too right!&nbsp; Now bring it on!
TRY THIS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN 29 DAYS
1)&nbsp; Set yourself up to win by tackling just one habit change at a time (chase two rabbits and we'll catch neither, and all that!)2)&nbsp; The habit to establish first is that of getting moving fast five times a week.&nbsp; Depends on your schedule but really, this foundation of energy and vitality will become solid enough to help you build up all kinds of secondary benefits.3)&nbsp; Get some training shoes on and get out the door of your house.&nbsp; You're going to do a round trip that gets you back to the place you started within the set time (or obviously, you could just do this as part of your journey to work).4)&nbsp; The aim is to get your heart rate up to a good level for about 20 mins and to really enjoy it too.5)&nbsp; You can get the results you want in 25 mins.&nbsp; That's everything you need to do in 25 mins.6)&nbsp; You leave the house, office, wherever, and you start walking, after a few minutes warming up, you're walking as fast as you comfortably can.7)&nbsp; Keep walking at that faster pace for about 15-20 mins.8)&nbsp; Give yourself a few mins just before you arrive back home to walk a little slower as a warm-down.9)&nbsp; You could do a little stretching when you get back.10)&nbsp; I like listening to audio books or talks (got to stay aware of traffic and stuff though) to make it a really useful time.
Reading my own bullet points, it seems a bit patronising telling you that stuff.
Honestly, I don't mean it to be.&nbsp; It's just what works for me and I know how tough it can be to establish new habits unless we make it really, really simple and get the right thinking in place.
A few minutes of fast walking five times a week isn't that much.&nbsp; Yes, I know that what we eat also plays a huge part in the physical results we get.&nbsp; But it is always hard to establish more than one habit at a time.&nbsp; That is a key thing to note if you've tried things and failed before:&nbsp; for better results, try to just do ONE MAJOR HABIT CHANGE AT A TIME.
Getting physically active, like lots of things, often depends on whether or not we see this stuff as an important part of creating the life we want and for moving toward our sense of meaning and purpose.
Course, how we go about building the fast-moving-habit is entirely negotiable, whether its essential to our present and future health and well-being is not.
If you liked this post, you'll&nbsp;enjoy "How I became a runner, lost more than 50 pounds of ugly fat".
&nbsp;
Hey, thanks very much for reading.&nbsp; I wish you all the best with your plans to get moving faster this month.&nbsp; Please let me know in the comments if you've any tips and how you're doing.&nbsp; Much&nbsp;love, Ian.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=51</link>
  <pubDate>Sun, 3 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Advice to my younger self, c. 1989 and c. 1999, that's good for 2010 (Part 1).</title>
  <description><![CDATA[&nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp; Me!&nbsp; Me and my college mates in 1993
I made this post a bit (a lot!) too long and&nbsp;fairly personal,&nbsp;but you can get the gist of it by scanning the coloured sections.
&nbsp;
As an adult, I've lived through two decade changes, and I'm about to see another.&nbsp;1989 turned to 1990 (eighties to the nineties);&nbsp; 1999 turned to 2000 (nineties to the naughties); and 2009 is about to become 2010 (naughties to the tens).&nbsp; I give that explanation for the benefit of the hard-of-thinking, which is a bit daft 'cause no reallygoodthinking.com readers are hard of thinking!&nbsp;"Traditional scientific method has always been at the very best, 20 - 20 hindsight. It's good for seeing where you've been. It's good for testing the truth of what you think you know, but it can't tell you where you ought to go."&nbsp; Robert Pirsig, author of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values.&nbsp;
OK, so I'm going to ditch thoughts of a scientific or systematic approach to understanding the last two decades.&nbsp; I won't attempt any complicated tests or try to extract hard and fast rules that could be universally relevant for everyone.&nbsp; 
And I won't even dream of suggesting I can tell myself, or anyone, where we ought to go with our future.&nbsp;Here's what I will do though:&nbsp; &nbsp;I'll use hindsight and my gut-level thinking to give my 1989-self, and my 1999-self some advice.&nbsp; &nbsp;It won't cover everything, just a small selection box of significant events and ideas I've picked at random.&nbsp; It won't tell me, or you, where to go next, or give us details about how to approach the next decade (if we're lucky enough to live through it - hey, there are few certainties, right?) but it might provide a few useful pointers.&nbsp; 
If you find them helpful, that'll be great.&nbsp; If not, well........&nbsp;Advice to my 1989-self for the coming nineties decade.&nbsp;Dear Ian,&nbsp;*&nbsp; In just a few years, the thing you fear more than anything else in the world will happen.&nbsp; You know it's inevitable.&nbsp; You just don't want it to, and you often think about how you could stop it.&nbsp; But you know you can't stop it.&nbsp; Your grandmother, the one person who has given you love and security your whole life, the woman who brought you up and is always there for you, will die, and you're understandably afraid of being completely alone in the world.&nbsp;*&nbsp; Right now, you believe losing your gran is the one thing you could not cope with.&nbsp; But you will cope.&nbsp; Not only that, you'll discover inner resources, a kind of security and self-reliance that sets you free from fear, and makes you less dependent on external circumstances.&nbsp; Course, through the coming years, that inner security will be tested again and again.
&nbsp;&nbsp;
Gran and I, 1994.&nbsp;*&nbsp; Sometimes you'll be overwhelmed, but each time you'll find your inner strength again.&nbsp; It's hard to explain, and where it comes from is a bit intellectually mysterious, and my advice to you, Ian Aspin of 1989, is to relax a bit, and trust that inner peace, it is there to be found.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;*&nbsp; Oh and it's not just inner security that'll bring amazing riches during the coming nineties.&nbsp; Soon you'll meet and marry someone who could easily be described as the most loving, giving, thoughtful person on earth, for which you'll always be grateful.&nbsp; Now then, you didn't see that coming did you?
*&nbsp; Make sure you appreciate Lawrence and Sandra, the lovely people who let you share their home for several years.&nbsp; You're just a lodger, but they treat you like family, making you so comfortable that you don't really want to leave and move into the first house you're trying to buy.&nbsp; Remember, sometimes, being too comfortable for too long causes us to miss bigger opportunities.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; Sandra always used to say "don't let the good get in the way of the best".&nbsp; You'll still be friends with Lawrence and Sandra and their daughter Dawn for years to come.&nbsp; Oh yea Mr. Nineties-Aspin, good friendships, meaningful relationships, are so important.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; Learning to care deeply about people will be a great help to you, and you will get so much more back in return.&nbsp;
*&nbsp; In '89 you are fortunate enough to have a good job and it's fairly enjoyable.&nbsp; The thing is, it's not playing to your strengths, engaging your passions, or ultimately very valuable in terms of making a meaningful contribution to the world.&nbsp; Your work gave you a promotion and the biggest pay rise ever, and you leave.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; Smart move.&nbsp; After all, unlike for some folks, leaving this job isn't going to land you in too much trouble, I mean, what's the worst that can happen?&nbsp; You're lucky enough to live in a society where choices exist, and few people really have no option but to stay in a soul-less routine.&nbsp; Plus, you have no family to support right now, so making the change is easier for you than for those with dependents and so on.

Lin and I, 1995.
*&nbsp; So you'll leave your job to go to&nbsp;London to study something you're totally fascinated by and read about and think about at every opportunity anyway.&nbsp; You will have the most excellent three years of undergraduate education and wider learning.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; But just before you go, you'll discover you've nowhere near enough money to cover your tuition fees and living expenses but decide to go anyway - somehow you will get through.&nbsp; My advice is trust your ability to get yourself all you need.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; You are resourceful and throughout your time at college, you will find ways to earn enough money for all you need.&nbsp; Your holiday jobs pay well thanks to experience gained from previous work, plus, you'll win a small scholarship which'll come in handy at just the right time.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; The lessons you learn here, about hustling for the stuff you really need, building connections, refusing to take no for an answer, and making the most of what you have, will serve you well in your businesses later on.&nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; Your passion and enthusiasm will carry you a long way.&nbsp; You've always been interested in the big questions, and sometimes wrestling with those landed you in quite a few, um,&nbsp; adventures.&nbsp; You've struggled finding life's meaning and purpose, but don't worry, because as the years pass, things will get clearer and clearer and you'll learn to be at peace even when things don't make so much sense.&nbsp;*&nbsp; In the final year of your degree, you work for free at a magazine and decide you want to be a journalist.&nbsp; That way, you can play to your key strengths by using your curiosity, desire for understanding, and passion for asking big questions.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; When you graduate, you'll struggle for a couple of years to get where you want to go.&nbsp; You'll have to do some crappy jobs to get by financially,&nbsp; whilst gaining experience working for zilch pay in radio.&nbsp; You apply for loads of jobs and get nowhere at first.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; Along the way you'll gain lots of experience writing, reporting, presenting bits and pieces here and there.&nbsp; All that builds up and gets you into paid work on a great network programme.&nbsp;*&nbsp; You seek the advice of lots of senior media people, but it turns out few will really care about helping you.&nbsp; Some will even deliberately mislead you, but you'll learn from that and it will eventually help you make better judgements and increase self-reliance.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; My advice is to take what you can learn from these people, but realise, for all kinds of reasons, people often say they'll do a thing, or claim to be something, but their real agenda may be toward something quite different.&nbsp; It's life.&nbsp; It's how some people are.&nbsp; The trick is, don't rely too much on any one person or organisation for anything.&nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; Eventually, you land a job at one of the world's most famous media companies and wonder where all those brilliant people are who always got the jobs you didn't.&nbsp; You'll learn that business and life doesn't usually select on the basis of best people, best ideas, best methods, best anything.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; It works on the basis of agendas and control of power, egos and ambitions.&nbsp; It's seldom about big picture thinking toward the greater good, or changing the world in a positive way.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Lawrence, Sandra, Lin, 1993.&nbsp;*&nbsp; You realise the idea there's a precisely right or wrong way to do things soon seems quite ridiculous to you and you ask more questions about what is truly important, what is meaningful, what matters.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; It won't take long Mr. Nineties-Aspin to see this way of thinking is not the norm for many people who appear happy to live a life of quiet conformity, moving almost as if in a coma, toward increasing levels of social status, physical comfort and mediocrity.&nbsp; Well get used to it, because that may not change much at all in the coming years.
*&nbsp; You can see you are great at some things, I mean really good, and everybody knows it.&nbsp; But there are other things at which you are really bad.&nbsp; Actually, you are not really bad at all, you are just unmotivated, you don't care about them.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; But here's the problem:&nbsp; other people care about those things. They draw attention to your weaknesses, and even though the contribution of your strengths is outstanding, these sticklers want you to conform in your areas of weakness too.&nbsp; They can make your life miserable, if you let them.&nbsp; &nbsp;*&nbsp; You might work for years to improve some of your weak areas and still be only mediocre.&nbsp; This approach will detract vital energy away from your strengths and you'll end up being a half-arsed also-ran in every way.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; Focus on what you love, what you're potentially great at, and on what fits into your big vision for your life (don't worry, you don't know all the details of this big vision yet, but you can see clues shining through even now).&nbsp;*&nbsp; Well, I want you to be smart.&nbsp; You'll find ways to make things work for you instead of against you.&nbsp; You'll be clever to find win-win ways to handle everyone and everything to mutual advantage, and you won't be drawn into unhelpful patterns and thinking.&nbsp;*&nbsp; You'll travel to places and meet people that'll make you truly appreciate just how lucky you are.&nbsp; In the busyness of everyday life, don't ever forget that, and recognise much of your good fortune comes through the apparent randomness of being born in a relatively prosperous and safe country.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; Try to see how your actions impact upon other people and upon our planet, and then work to minimise those negative effects. &nbsp;*&nbsp; After some very excellent years working in journalism and broadcasting full-time for other people, you'll get chance to be a partner in your own business.&nbsp; At first you'll work evenings, weekends, and days off, having a blast alongside your day job as a TV news reporter.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; Soon, you'll be doing your own business stuff full-time.&nbsp; You'll learn so many lessons about success, failure, ecstatic enjoyment, frustration, winning and losing.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; My advice to you, 1989 Ian, is to not be so busy each day that you fail to be conscious.&nbsp; Enjoy it.&nbsp; Savour all the adventures.&nbsp; Be grateful for the opportunities, the people, the projects, because it won't go on forever.&nbsp; And that's true of everything you'll do.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; Nothing, no matter how good (or bad) goes on forever.&nbsp; You know that.&nbsp; Be conscious of it, and you're time in the nineties will be easier, and far more enjoyable.&nbsp;So that's it, some of the advice I'd give to the Ian Aspin of 1989 going into the nineties and it'll serve me well if I take it for 2010 too.&nbsp; I'll be back later with some things I'd like to say to my 1999 self as I hit the new millennium.
Enjoyed this post, here's another you'll like too:&nbsp; Fail better, see 2009 differently, and suck the marrow out of it.&nbsp;Thanks so much for reading.&nbsp; Hope it has been of some use.&nbsp; Love hearing what you think.&nbsp; What advice do you want to give your younger self?&nbsp; Please do let me know!&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=50</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Fail better, see 2009 differently, and suck the marrow out of it.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; kk+
&nbsp;
Have you heard anyone say 2009 was a bad year?&nbsp; 
What about those who reckon they'll be glad to see the back of it while hoping for a fresh start in 2010?
We hear that every year.&nbsp; 
Personally, I've had a year of tough times and good times in approximately equal measure.&nbsp; But I usually get the feeling around mid-December, that the coming year will be better.&nbsp; And why shouldn't it be, I'm smarter through experience right?&nbsp; 
Wrong.&nbsp; 
Well, at least,&nbsp; not entirely right!
Oh yea, before I carry on, I'm just going to remind myself, that no matter how difficult our year might have been (those of us reading this), our lives, on the whole, are likely to be infinitely better, in so many ways, than perhaps the majority of people living on our planet today.&nbsp; But of course, that doesn't stop us wanting to improve and make the most of our opportunities so we can help others too does it? 
2010 may be no better (or worse) than 2009, unless we decide to make it so.&nbsp; 
Sure, there are some factors in '09 that were totally out of our control, but plenty of others were TOTALLY WITHIN OUR POTENTIAL TO TAKE CONTROL.&nbsp; By making this distinction - honestly and without fear -&nbsp;&nbsp; we can set ourselves up for putting our focus and efforts in the right place in '10.
So before we let 2009 slip away faster than my friend Andy when it's his turn to get the drinks, just have a think about 2009 and what we can learn.
Why? 
Because there's little point thinking 2010 will be much better unless we take full responsibility for the stuff we cocked-up this year.&nbsp; When we do that, we can ask "what the hell can I learn from this so I'm less likely to mess up those same things again?" - this has nothing to do with a so-called bad economy, I'm thinking about bad thinking, and that produces bad (or no!) action.
I've had a few fantastic wins this year.&nbsp; 
Oh yes, I've made progress in 2009 that's taken me beyond my own expectations.&nbsp; 
And you know what?&nbsp; Because I've learned so much and made so many amazing connections this year, I'm so looking forward to the stuff I've got planned for next year, really excited!&nbsp; 
Before I go there though, I have to admit I also made some daft and costly mistakes that were pretty much the exact duplicate of ones I'd made in '08, and before that in '07 etc. too!&nbsp; Absolutely nothing to do with tough external circumstances - which we all faced to some degree or other - but everything to do with my bad choices or failure to take the right kind of action (you must be thinkin' I'm a right arse, but hang on will ya!).&nbsp; 
So, that experience thing (measured solely in years) ......is usually B/S.&nbsp; I know people with loads more "experience" than I have in certain areas, and they're still idiots after thirty years making the same stupid mistakes, and they appear unconcerned to have learned almost nothing (oh well, perhaps they just enjoyed the ride?).&nbsp; I definitely don't want to be like that and I bet you don't either.
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter, try again, fail again, fail better." — Samuel Beckett
So here's the thing:&nbsp; We absolutely must have the balls to look our failures right in the eye and listen to what they tell us.&nbsp; (Some never reach that level of awareness, so we have a massive advantage!)
We need to "fail better".&nbsp; 
This is what I did:
*&nbsp; I made a list of all the significant stuff that went wrong for me in 2009.&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; I tried to make an honest list - I don't think I glossed over anything.&nbsp; (Some folk never get honest with themselves, and&nbsp;therefore, may never know the joy of conscious living.)
*&nbsp; I spotted some stuff that could easily have been better, and I've made a note of exactly "how".
*&nbsp; Seeing how it could have been better is helping me move on and feel more confident about tackling the likely challenges (and hazards) of 2010.
By choosing to see 2009 as (in itself) neither good nor bad, I've given myself chance to learn from it and hopefully, suck some of the juicy marrow from what may otherwise have been just a pile of left over bones.
&nbsp;
Enjoyed this post?&nbsp; You'll love "Seven Reasons Why 2010 Will Be Your Best Year Yet".
Thanks very much for reading this post.&nbsp; Have you failed at all in 2009?&nbsp; What's the most important thing you learned from it?&nbsp; How could we "fail better"?&nbsp; I always enjoy and appreciate your comments, so please leave one.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=48</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 29 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Here's a little Ding Dong Merrily to Wish You a Hopeful Christmas.</title>
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Image credit:&nbsp; Dan Stefani
I'm just getting to a really great bit in my book when the door bell rings.
"Ian!, can you get that, everyone's starting to arrive."
So that's it, the end of that little pocket&nbsp;of me doin' my own thing.&nbsp; For the next few days at least, we'll have a house full of visitors, and there'll always be stuff to do.
Oh yea, there'll be a bit of lolling about after a good meal, but then the clearing up, and then the getting ready for the next thing, and so on and on.
I&nbsp;started&nbsp;to think&nbsp;"I've so many exciting projects on the go right now, this whole Christmas thing is just an inconvenient interruption".
I have to be honest, that was a first thought.&nbsp; I have to be honest, I'm&nbsp;still working on re-framing my thoughts.
So I'll start by wishing all my lovely friends and family (digital and otherwise) a hopeful Christmas.
I want to say how grateful I am to have all of you.&nbsp; 
This time last year, I had not tweeted, written a blog post, or talked online.&nbsp;&nbsp;I didn't even know you existed and you didn't&nbsp;know me.&nbsp;
Since then, you have given me so much.
I've discovered all kinds of parcels, packages, gift boxes, and beautifully wrapped&nbsp;bundles jammed full of lovely,&nbsp;supportive, caring, motivated and talented folk this year.&nbsp;&nbsp;
You're finding a much bigger sense of meaning and purpose for your lives and you're committed to making a positive difference in all kinds of ways.&nbsp; 
Fantastic.&nbsp; 
Somehow stuff like this&nbsp;always ends up sounding a bit cheesy but what the heck:&nbsp; I can't tell you how delighted, proud, and excited I am to be part of that with you all.
Thanks very much indeed!
To state the bleedin' obvious, Christmas&nbsp;is&nbsp;important to all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons.&nbsp; 
For me, it points to a&nbsp;spiritual dimension, that though mysterious and impossible to define, somehow contains&nbsp;a massive source of love and gratitude.
There may be&nbsp;people hanging out with us&nbsp;this Christmas that are a pain in the ass.&nbsp; 
We disagree with almost everything they say and do.&nbsp; They want to watch crap&nbsp;programmes on TV,&nbsp;eat all our pickled eggs, and drink our Malibu. 
Yet next Christmas, those folks&nbsp;may not be around, like the friends and family we've lost this year.
So I'm re-framing my thoughts.&nbsp; 
There's a bigger picture:&nbsp; I'm grateful for the people in my life&nbsp;that care about&nbsp;my family and I, and that I am not alone.&nbsp;&nbsp;I'm trying&nbsp;to stop expecting people&nbsp;to be anything other than what they are, and I guess that means letting go of all the little irratating quirks that, in the scheme of things, don't matter.&nbsp; 
Actually, some days, when I go off on one, I'm&nbsp;probably the most irritating person around anyway.
Oh well.&nbsp; I do hope you enjoy the day, and the holiday, whatever you are doing.
Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=46</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How I became a runner, lost more than 50 pounds of ugly fat, and turned my life around in just a few months.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Image credit:&nbsp; Wonderlane
&nbsp;
So we want to carry on living lives full of meaning and purpose don't we?&nbsp; And we want to continue making a positive difference, helping change the world, right?&nbsp; Well we're gonna need all the energy we can get!&nbsp;
Here's a bit of the story of how I finally managed to get moving, lose bucket loads of weight, and find energy I didn't know I had.&nbsp; 
Hey, I'm not judging anyone for being heavy, but if it stops us making the most of the time we have, and if it's possible to get shut of it, then maybe it's worth a go?
I could spend the next fifty years analysing my childhood, un-hooking and un-packing each link of my DNA, and asking every shrink between Shrewsbury and Shanghai exactly why? why? why?
And I'd probably still be none the wiser.&nbsp; &nbsp;But it's a fact.&nbsp; I've long HATED exercise!&nbsp; &nbsp;What about sport?&nbsp; No...can't stand it!&nbsp; 
OK let's go back in time to 1999 and I'll ask myself a question.
"Ian, can you see a time when you will EVER enjoy exercise?"&nbsp; "NO" I answer.&nbsp;"What about sports?"&nbsp; "NO" I reply.
OK come back in time to 2009 and ask the question again.
"Ian, can you see a time when you will EVER enjoy exercise?"&nbsp; "Wrong question!"&nbsp; I answer.&nbsp;"What about sports?"&nbsp; "Define "sports"" I reply.
OK here's the thing that's helped me change EVERYTHING when it comes to actually ENJOYING moving my ass and in the process losing MORE than FOUR STONES of ugly, heart squeezing, lung busting FAT (that's more than FIFTY SIX POUNDS or TWENTY FIVE KILOS).
"Bloomin' ek!" you say.&nbsp; I bet you're thinking I must have been a right lardy-bum-fatty!&nbsp; Well no actually.&nbsp; 
Since I'm 6'4" tall, very good looking and charismatic (a sort of cross between Ricky Gervais, Johnny Depp, and Danny DeVito) I managed to carry it off better than my shorter mates.&nbsp; But still, carrying all that extra weight was not good for me, and man-boobs are so overrated.
So what is that thing that helped me most?
Re-definition.&nbsp; &nbsp;That's it.&nbsp; Simply re-defining those things I'd previously called "exercise" and "sport", both of which had huge negative associations for me.&nbsp;It won't help to dig up all the whys and wherefores but somehow, I discovered that simply using different language and a change of attitude - re-framing - could make all the difference.&nbsp;I dropped the words "exercise" and "sport" and replaced them with far more interesting and enjoyable words which I'll get to in a mo.
I'm going to tell you exactly how I managed to do that, and once and for all, formed some great behaviours that I know'll be with me as long as I'm physically able to get my ass moving.

Image credit:&nbsp; Mike Baird
I've gone from repeated failure at establishing good patters, to lasting, easy, and extremely rewarding success.&nbsp; &nbsp;I reckon some of the stuff I did might help you if you want to make improvements too but hey, I'm not a sports expert, or a physician.&nbsp; All I know is that what I did worked for me.&nbsp; You'll need to check this stuff out for yourself before getting into anything, and see your doctor (and all the other patronising provisos!) etc. too.
It's been over two years now, so long enough to call my changes "permanent" don't you think?
After a particularly dark period with all kinds of difficulties in business and life, I'd become a bit fat!&nbsp;&nbsp;Not so much an aesthetic problem, but I was struggling to keep up with my then 4 year old, was often out of breath, and had little energy much of the time.&nbsp; 
The only zest in my life was from a shrivelled up lemon cake or three in the local cafe.
Want to know how I turned it all around?
OK.&nbsp; Here are four perceptions I used, and they can help us right now.&nbsp; 
1)&nbsp; Countless obstacles
Life's full of 'em.&nbsp; No matter what the goal, they'll be there.&nbsp; Get over 'em. Or under.&nbsp; Or around.&nbsp; Better, blow the crap out of 'em.&nbsp; How?&nbsp; By re-defining, re-focusing, using different language and a "can-do" attitude.&nbsp;Having tried to exercise regularly and failed I eventually realised a big problem:&nbsp; "Exercise" was a bad word, loaded with all the wrong connotations.&nbsp; I changed it to "walking", which I thought of as easy, enjoyable, and something I could do more of right away.&nbsp; 
Once "walking" gets turned into "fast walking" and you're doing it 3 or 4 times a week and getting your heart rate up for about 15 minutes at a time, you're well on the way to massive improvements, potentially in every area of living.&nbsp;I knew I liked walking, and the obstacles to getting out and about are next to zero - you just start walking! &nbsp;But try going to the gym 3 to 4 times a week and it is a ball-ache and drains hours from your life! 
Why?&nbsp; You need clean gym clothes, you have to get there too, most likely by car.&nbsp; Then find a parking space and pay for the ticket.&nbsp; Get into the gym and change.&nbsp; Warm up.&nbsp; Wait for the machines you want to come free.&nbsp; Do an exercise.&nbsp; Wait for the next machine.&nbsp; Repeat.&nbsp; When you're done, go change, shower, get to the car, drive away.&nbsp; Obstacle after obstacle to get over, and that's before you've even flexed your extensor carpi radialis longus. &nbsp;So, we have to accept there'll always be obstacles.&nbsp; No need to moan.&nbsp; They won't go away.&nbsp; Let's just look for ways to reduce them, and deal positively with 'em by demolishing 'em when they do crop up.
&nbsp;
Image credit:&nbsp; Mike Baird
2)&nbsp; Relentless optimism
Do I like "exercise" and "sports"?&nbsp; Not really.&nbsp; 
Re-frame the question:&nbsp; Do I like the freedom of running, the excitement of mountain biking, the focus of climbing, and the fun of wild swimming?&nbsp; Yes! I love those things!&nbsp; Why the hell did I wait until just two years ago to even try them?&nbsp; &nbsp;Oh yea, it was the walking that got it all started.&nbsp; When you do it fast 3&nbsp;or 4&nbsp;times a week, you soon feel yourself wanting to run, and that's exactly what happens.&nbsp; At first, you can't run very long, but even running a little makes you feel like doing more.&nbsp; &nbsp;You start to think "maybe I could just go to that next lamp post", you push to it, you're knacked, but you did it!&nbsp; That causes your optimism to grow and soon, the good feelings produce more optimism which becomes relentless.&nbsp;Oh yea, I also discovered that it isn't "sports" I disliked.&nbsp; Just the endless flamin' commentary, that some boring people make about games like football, that had turned me off.&nbsp; The culture of out-of-shape folk in "leisure wear" talking endlessly about the minutiae of some bloody footballer or other!&nbsp; Actually seeing a great game is a totally different bag of whistles and can be pretty uplifting! &nbsp;
3)&nbsp; Senseless momentum
So I became a runner.&nbsp; &nbsp;Something I'd never thought likely, perhaps not even possible.&nbsp; My transition from fast walker to proper runner took only about 6 weeks, after which I could run for 20/30 minutes, 4 times a week, without having to stop at all!&nbsp; The momentum built as I saw and felt massive benefits; better sleep, more energy, less stress and frustration, clearer ideas, more umph, more fun!&nbsp;I'd call the momentum "senseless" because to my old self, the amazing physical and mental powers my running habit brought, and the motivation I've discovered toward almost every meaningful thing I'm doing, just don't make sense from the blinkered perspective of my old non-running self.&nbsp;It is also senseless to many folk who have not experienced such momentum, since so few people are "fired up" and high on life (generally speaking) anyway.
4)&nbsp; Endless possibilities
It's well known that getting ourselves moving physically has so many health benefits.&nbsp; I'd say it goes way beyond improved bodily function and a temporary burst of natural, mood enhancing chemical releases.&nbsp; &nbsp;I'd say, for me, and from anecdotal evidence from almost every regular runner and athlete I've met or read about, I'd say getting ourselves moving somehow puts us in touch with a much deeper sense of well-being.&nbsp; &nbsp;It helps us see beyond our current limitations.&nbsp; It kinda "blows the cobwebs away", brings us refreshment, and is it just me, or do we runners and physically energised folk really almost leave our bodies behind sometimes? Well, that might be going a bit too far! (....or is it? ha ha).&nbsp;
Anyway, without wanting to sound cheesy, I'm gonna keep on running.&nbsp; Not just physically, but as we work out how to lives full of meaning and purpose, make a difference, and use our collective energy to change the world.
&nbsp;
Enjoyed this post?&nbsp; You'll love "Seven Reasons Why 2010 Will Be Your Best Year Yet".
Thanks so much for reading this little story.&nbsp; I love reading your comments, hearing what you think and learning from you.&nbsp; Have you taken up running or become physically active ater a long time doing nothing?&nbsp; What tips would you give others to help them get started?&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=45</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Be like Luke Skywalker - May the force of focus be with you. Video from Ian Sanders.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Image credit: .Musha_King
I'm very pleased to have this guest video post, especially for Reallygood Thinking, from "Professor of Juggle", Ian Sanders. 
Ian's an ideas guy with massive experience helping people grow and develop in business and life. He's worked with some amazing folk and companies, and is the author of "Juggle! Rethink Work, Reclaim Your Life" and " LEAP!: Ditch Your Job, Start Your Own Business &amp; Set Yourself Free". 
Ian has a popular blog, where you'll find helpful video interviews with Gary Vaynerchuk (Wine Library TV, "Crush It"), Sarah Beeny (C4's Property Ladder) and Kevin Roberts (Saatchi &amp; Saatchi). Go here to read more about Ian, and what people say about him, including management guru Tom Peters.
In this video, we'll discover&nbsp;a&nbsp;secret to&nbsp;avoiding opportunities that seem good, but are really distractions. Plus, how to focus on our big mission.



Thanks very much to Ian for taking the time to do this video and to be a Reallygood Thinking guest professor.
If you enjoyed it, you'll like this too: "Want to live with passion? Follow your DNA."
&nbsp;
As always, thanks so much for visiting Reallygood Thinking. I love to know what you think. Please tell me where you've turned things down because they simply didn't help you on your life's mission. Plus, what are your tips for living the "Juggle Life" and coping with all we have to do? Much love, Ian.
&nbsp;]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=44</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Forget perfect.  Go for remarkable.  Oh, and when we see these words hanging out together, we'll get a big stick and smash 'em to bits.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Image credit: Beer30

&nbsp;
&nbsp;
1) Is it just me,
2) or are you seeing and hearing this B.S. almost everywhere you look? (...and course, it's not just the time of year). 3) On billboards, posters, TV commercials, pop-up banners, commercial radio jingles, store window displays, magazine articles, full-page newspaper ads, the back side of cinema tickets, video buffers, letterbox jamming paper crap, on and on..............4) .......forever.
5) The so-called "creative" ad producers must be so idea-poor
6) they couldn't think of anything else to tempt us into 7) yet more pointless purchasing. It's as if they've closed their eyes to the fact that this consumer culture doesn't deliver (but that's another post or ten.)
Hey! I believe in business, buying, selling, making money, as long as it's done within the context of a "life less selfish" which I wrote about here (including my video chat&nbsp;with Andy Hobsbawm, from Do the Green Thing).
8) What's the specific B.S. I'm on about this time then?
9) Well I'm referring to two words that, 10) when placed in front of other words, tend to create unrealistic and usually ridiculous expectations. 11) But, only if we are daft enough to let them.

12) I'm talking about "The" and "Perfect". 
13) The perfect body.&nbsp; The perfect gift.&nbsp; The perfect dinner.&nbsp; The perfect business.&nbsp; The perfect job.&nbsp; The perfect relationship.&nbsp;&nbsp;The perfect party.&nbsp; The perfect solution. 14) The perfect nothing! 
15) There's no such thing as 'perfect'.
16) Go on then. Believe the B.S. If we want to. It's up to us.17) I don't think any reallygood thinking readers usually buy into that kinda crap, but it doesn't harm to remind each other, eh? I mean you already know everything I'm about to say. You've heard it before. But stick with me a bit longer.18) One dictionary's definition of "perfect" includes: being entirely without fault or defect ; flawless ; satisfying all requirements ; corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept ; faithfully reproducing the original ; pure ; total ; lacking in no essential detail ; complete etc.

Uncle Kenny having fun on my son's not-so-perfectly-sized bike.
19) QUESTION: So when have you done anything, had anything, seen anything, experienced anything, that fits those terms? Go on. Be honest. When? Exactly? 
20) I bet, like me, you'll say "hardly ever!"(at least not human-made stuff!).21) OK. There are moments, times, experiences, that occasionally "feel" perfect. The really, really special stuff. 22) Seriously, when I look at my kids and wife, I mean really look at them, being&nbsp;present in the moment,&nbsp;I feel that amazing sense of wonder, gratitude, love.23) But much of the time, if we're honest, things are messy. They can be good. Sometimes great. But often messy.
24) Be cool with it!
25) Unless you are doing surgery, building jet engines, or work in bomb disposal, forget perfect.
26) QUESTION: Let's stop right now and ask "what are we not deciding/starting/doing/finishing now because we don't think it'll be perfect?".
27) I've been there so many times! Believe me. I've had enough. 
28) So now, I'm going for the messy.
29) The anti-perfect solutions to business, writing, programme making, cooking, adventure, helping others, changing the world, having a laugh.30) I'm building the anti-perfect life. I'm going for remarkable, not perfect.&nbsp; Even if "they" look down on me for not being flawless!

Image credit:&nbsp; .mushi_king
31) I'm in good company. 
32) "How Launching Before Being Perfect Helped Kiva Change The World. – The Premal Shah Interview."WARNING: There's an F-Word in this clip.....but don't let that stop you hearing from an amazing, anti-perfect world-changer about his fantastic, caring&nbsp;company!



&nbsp;
33) So, do we just want to think about changing the world? Or do it now? Without permission? Without perfection?
34) If you want to build a great business without getting stuck on "perfectionism", Andrew Warner's Mixergy.com is a must visit site. You would be crazy to ignore what Andrew's giving away free of charge on Mixergy.com.35) None of the entrepreneurs interviewed on Mixergy allowed not-being-perfect stop them building great businesses!
36) "Everything I Know About Perfectionism I Learned From My Breasts." 
37) Go here for inspiration and some secrets and solutions for overpowering perfectionism from Debbie Jordan Kravitz.
38) "The only perfection is in being present, yet the perfectionist is never present" (Mel Schwartz, Psychology Today article).
39) Decide to be present. Be here. Now. Perfectionism is about fear. Stop allowing future worries to rob us of our ability to make the most of now. 
40) Replace fear with love, faith, hope. Caring. Giving. Kindness. Let's help someone get what they want/need in life. Let's do it! 
41) When we're grateful for the good things we have, we appreciate the real, flawed, messy, rich, amazing, relationships, experiences, ideas, opportunities available to us now.
42)&nbsp; And when we see these words hanging out together, "The" and "Perfect", we take a big stick and smash 'em to bits.
If you found that helpful, you'll also like "A Life Less Selfish. Plus, Do the Green Thing: My Video Chat with Andy Hobsbawm".

Thanks very much for reading this post. I really want to know what you think. I'd love to hear all about your struggle to beat perfectionism, or any of those annoying habits, like procrastination, that stop us making the best of our talents. I need your help; please give me all the tips, techniques, tricks you've trained yourself to use to beat these beasts! See you in the comments. Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=43</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Seven Reasons Why 2010 Will Be Your Best Year Yet</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Image credit:&nbsp; Muha
This is a post from Reallygood Thinking guest professor&nbsp; Nicholas Bate,&nbsp;a pioneering thought leader and ideas person.&nbsp;&nbsp;He runs Strategic Edge, a consultancy specialising in helping people realise and release their true and full potential. As well as&nbsp;working&nbsp;with some of the world's best know companies and business schools, Nicholas is the author of nine acclaimed books and a popular blog.
1.&nbsp; 2009 was pretty amazing and yet you know you haven’t released anywhere near your full potential yet. 
That’s going to be your 2010 ‘thing’. 
Full potential. 
Full on. 
From today.
2.&nbsp; It’ll be the year of your book. 
It may or may not be published but you are going to write your heart out: what’s your mission, your manifesto, your passion? 
People don’t get it: the publication isn’t the thing (when you run a marathon, do people say: did you win?) It’s the clear and current expression of you; writing will clarify it, determine it and action it. 
60000 words or so about why you are on the planet. That’ll give you focus. Sound a lot? Not enough when you get going.
3.&nbsp; It’s the year when you finally get it: it’s down to you. 
Sure school wasn’t bad, the degree helped. And maybe you will do an MBA. But you know what, deep down? Success doesn’t correlate that strongly with educational qualifications. Nor even with good ol’ IQ. It does with realising: ‘it’s down to me’. 
Make it happen. 
Don’t wait for politicians (ha-ha, as if you would), the lottery (what: are you serious?) or that recruitment consultant to ring you back (whatever bulls*it he gave you about your cool CV).

Image credit:&nbsp; Mike Baird
4.&nbsp; You’re going to breakthrough on your wellness. 
You are going to make sure you have so much energy you see sun-rise every morning, that you walk almost everywhere and lifts are for wimps. 
5.&nbsp; Fun and contribution are going to be integral to your new 2010 version Life. 
Fun as in what’s the point if you are not having fun? And contribution as in how can I help the growth of others?
6.&nbsp; It’s the year where you will gain real wealth. 
Soft wealth that is: great relationships, time to travel, health, feeling valued, time with the kids.&nbsp; Anyone can get their hands on the hard stuff (money). But when they do, they only want it for the soft stuff, so why not short-circuit the process?
7.&nbsp; It’s the year where you stop talking, planning, any form of procrastination, writing lists of seven things and get on with it. 
And you are going to start today.
Thanks very much to my mate Nicholas Bate for his&nbsp;helpful and inspiring words.&nbsp; He's loads more good stuff over at&nbsp;his blog, including some stunningly good free e-books like&nbsp;this one.
&nbsp;
If you liked this, you'll love ATTENTION ALL EMERGING SUPERHEROES! It's a great time to be on this planet!
Cheers for reading this post.&nbsp; I'd love to hear what you think, and if you've any great tips for seizing the balls of life and getting a head start on a great 2010.&nbsp; I appreciate your comments so much so please go for it and let me know what's on your mind.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=42</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How to be as welcome as a wet dog in a wedding gown shop  (Part 1 - just 3 points*)</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; Bibimorvarid
&nbsp;For the rest of our lives, we're going to have to deal with folk who show one or more of the following&nbsp;characteristics.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
We can spot them, the people, and their traits.&nbsp; (Hey, I'm not bein' a whingin' git,&nbsp;stick with me!)&nbsp;
Can we see them in ourselves?&nbsp; That's tougher.&nbsp; &nbsp;Be we can see them if we want to.&nbsp; And we can realise they'll make people so much less likely to want to hang out with us, give us their business, or come near us at all.&nbsp;If we want to spot them, and then kick their fat unproductive asses out of our face, that's even better! 
*&nbsp; I could only write three in one sitting, for two reasons:
1)&nbsp; They were making me feel fed-up, 2)&nbsp; We should only bitch a tiny bit each day, and then only in special circumstances, right?&nbsp; &nbsp;Oh yea, these three traits create problems in our relationships, at work and at home.&nbsp; But their impact goes much further.&nbsp; &nbsp;On a macro scale, multiplied by a factor of millions, they're causing massive damage.&nbsp; Our thoughts, attitudes, behaviours (good and bad) add up to produce huge impacts on others, and on our planet.&nbsp; (The best thing is we can do a&nbsp;shed load of good stuff together and&nbsp;keep growing in momentum.)&nbsp;&nbsp;So, how to make ourselves unwelcome almost anywhere:
&nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp; Albany Tim
1)&nbsp; Have a crappy attitude. 
Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air!&nbsp;Some days I want to say to some people "You know your crappy attitude?&nbsp; Well it is so UN-original!&nbsp; I mean, there's nothing unique or interesting about it.&nbsp; I've seen ten people with exactly the same milk curdling mind-set already this morning and it's not yet 10 am".&nbsp; 
I bet there are days when people are quietly thinking the same about me (the b*******!, he he).&nbsp;Our C.A. comes in all shapes and sizes.&nbsp; One example might be that useless (mostly!) thing called blame.&nbsp; Blaming others, the economy, our great grandparents, our neighbour's pigeons, for our problems.&nbsp; Then, we moan and moan, and consistently fail to take action to make things better, while continuing our downward cycle of passing the buck.&nbsp;Oh yes, attitude is the massive flashing sign and public address system that tells the world what we're really like.&nbsp; We can say what we want, try and use words to convince people we are A, B, C, but there's no need.&nbsp; They are not daft.&nbsp; They've to spend only a little time with us to see what we're really about.&nbsp; Sure, we may be good actors, but it's difficult to keep up for long.&nbsp; &nbsp;That means even folk with only very small B.S. detectors will suss us out.
Question:&nbsp; What can we do today to feed, boost, bolster, expand, and light a fire under our great attitude and start riding it to where we want to be?
Reallygood thinking:&nbsp; A crappy attitude is for people with no sense of a bigger purpose for their lives.&nbsp; If every day we're moving toward something that really matters, we won't let the small stuff drag us down.
But&nbsp;what I'm loving most about all the fantastic people I'm getting to know is they have a&nbsp;great attitude!&nbsp;&nbsp;There are so many people making a difference in our world, it's my ambition to meet each and every one personally and learn all I can! 

Picture credit:&nbsp; pepe
2)&nbsp; Be completely unaware.
To get anywhere (well, we can get nowhere, that's somewhere!) we need to work on our awareness.&nbsp; &nbsp;We've got to wake up and see how our presence affects the mix, how we impact others, and what what we choose to think, say, and do DOES in any situation.&nbsp; Then ask ourselves "Is this the effect I wanted? Does it help create the kind of outcome I'm looking for?".&nbsp; If stuff's happening to us and we wonder where the hell it came from, maybe the clues where there from the start, it's just we were unaware of them.&nbsp; There's a friend who phones our home and starts talking immediately about the job she hates (but not enough to find another after ten years of misery and complaining, the lazy, miserable cow!).&nbsp; This woman goes on and on about the minutiae of what's happened that day, of how hard done-by she thinks she is.&nbsp; Sounds the same as the last time she called, and the fifty times before that.&nbsp; &nbsp;She's completely unaware that we might have people coming round, perhaps we have to rush off somewhere, maybe one of our kids isn't feeling well, or we've had a bad time in our business, at work, a family problem.&nbsp; No, she doesn't even think.&nbsp; She just starts talking.&nbsp; (Not to me you understand, as soon as I hear her voice I mimic the sound of a fax machine and put the phone down). &nbsp;I know it's hard to believe but sometimes other people have big, important, happy, painful, worrying, amazing things going on in their lives too.
Questions:&nbsp;&nbsp;What can we do to become more aware?&nbsp; &nbsp;I reckon a good place to start is to find examples where the outcomes were what we wanted, and some where they were not so hot (i.e. friends stop answering their phone, and their door!), and compare.&nbsp; What can we notice about what we did or didn't notice at the time?&nbsp; Once we've figured out how our awareness, or lack of,&nbsp; affected the end results, we'll be better able to ask sharper questions, get ourselves focused on what's really going on, and increase the chance of getting the outcomes we want.&nbsp;Reallygood thinking:&nbsp; Those who are clear about what they're doing with this life, will want to be wide awake to every person and every possibility that'll help them on their way.
Every day, we can connect with outstanding people who are aware of so many good things&nbsp;we wouldn't have discovered or thought of on our own!&nbsp; It's a fantastic&nbsp;time to be alive.&nbsp; We've potentially more opportunities than ever before, so let's keep on discovering!

Picture credit:&nbsp; Adrants
3)&nbsp; Make little or no contribution.&nbsp; Just take, take , take, and keep on taking.
I had a colleague who used to come for dinner at my place three&nbsp;or four&nbsp;times a week, when we were working on various time intensive projects.&nbsp; And even when things cooled down, he'd still be round a couple of times a week or more.&nbsp; This went on for a few years.&nbsp; He never brought a bottle, or as much as a mince pie!&nbsp; (Another friend is a single mum with hardly any money and she always brings something.&nbsp; It's definitely not expected, it's just she's generous, kind, and thoughtful, and she won't stop!&nbsp; Back to the guy....).&nbsp; &nbsp;My missus and I went to his place once.&nbsp; For a barbecue.&nbsp;&nbsp;After two sausages and a cold chicken wing each, the food and booze ran out.&nbsp; We went home and ordered pizza.&nbsp; &nbsp;I'd driven this guy hundreds of miles, usually out of my way, loads of times, given him stuff, paid him well for his work, and helped him out whenever possible.&nbsp; So when I asked him to do a small, simple thing for me when I'd to go away at short notice, you can imagine how annoyed I was when he let me down at the last minute after agreeing to help!&nbsp;I don't need to tell you his selfishness eventually cost our friendship, cos I don't care what anyone says, in my book, friendship is always a two-way street.&nbsp; Both parties must give a crap about each other, or it isn't really friendship, and giving a crap means helping each other when we can.&nbsp;Anyway, he's worn out his welcome at my place.&nbsp; Perhaps I shouldn't be too tough on the little sponger, perhaps no one ever told him that thing about "it's better to give than to receive". &nbsp;Questions:&nbsp; Are people starting to ignore us, leave us out of things, avoiding us, because we mostly take more than we give?&nbsp; Let's ask ourselves honestly, "do we care?"&nbsp; If not, carry on as usual and we'll see our friends become rarer than sensible shoes at a pole dancing convention.&nbsp;Reallygood thinking:&nbsp; People who are smart, at least those with the normal compassion mechanisms, will soon work out that giving, and caring, without expectation of something in return, will naturally lift them far above their selfish friends in all the ways that really matter. 
I can't believe the extraordinary level of love,&nbsp;giving, and caring we can find when we open up to new people and ideas.&nbsp; These digital technologies really do offer us such wonderful platforms to make a bigger impact than we ever dreamed possible.&nbsp; Bring it on! 
So, let's make sure we avoid these troublesome traits, and we'll find&nbsp;warmer welcomes wherever we go.&nbsp; Oh yea, and the knock-on effects might be huge.
&nbsp;
If you enjoyed this, you'll&nbsp;like this too;&nbsp;&nbsp;I'm well glad I found Gladwell.&nbsp; Or, How to turn frustration into action.
&nbsp;
I'd love to know if you find these ideas helpful, and if you have particular things that help you move out of a crappy attitude, raise your awareness, and make you less selfish.&nbsp;&nbsp;Would be great to see&nbsp;you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=41</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>We all get more juice when we're sparkin' off each other.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; Southern Heart
&nbsp;
Thanks a lot everyone!
How ya'll doin'?
Just wanted to say how much I enjoy all the love, great comments, and connectedness that hit me here at reallgoodthinking.com, every time I write a post.
It's truly heartwarming&nbsp;to get such fantastic feedback, friendship, and fun from you lovely world-changers each and every day.
I've gotta tell ya, after just a few months online, I've had more sense of&nbsp;community, belonging, and feeling&nbsp;part of something massive and important than I've had in over&nbsp;a decade of&nbsp;traditional one-way broadcast media.
I've said loads of times that our digital relationships can spark all kinds of possibilities&nbsp;and make a massive difference to others and to our planet.&nbsp; 
Working together, we don't have to wait&nbsp;for&nbsp;our "official" so-called leaders to wake&nbsp;up,&nbsp;we're&nbsp;just getting on with good stuff regardless.&nbsp;

Picture credit:&nbsp; vkurland 
So I'd love to know more about you guys.
You know how curious I can be?
Well, I'd be proper&nbsp;chuffed (that means pleased, happy, delighted) if you tell me what blogs, bloggers, writers, video makers, thinkers, books, ideas people, etc. you like.
Pick a favourite blog post, a video that absolutely sums up what you care about,&nbsp;or anything where you can send me a link to show what's at the top of your pile.
I want to know what matters most to you.
The best way to do that is to simply give&nbsp;me a link, something I can read or watch.&nbsp; You can send me one or two, don't get blocked trying to decide&nbsp;your all-time favourites (favorites!), just let me have one or two things you think are truly great&nbsp;- I mean the really good stuff!
Maybe I can post some of those favourites (favorites!) so all the reallygoodthinking.com gang can get a feel for the range of things&nbsp;we love.
OK, that's it.&nbsp; 
It'll be sensational to hear from you. 
Please do it.&nbsp; 
Show me what's important to you.
Note:&nbsp; I know sometimes, these types of things don't work when&nbsp;no one bothers to reply, but hey, I'll take that risk! (It's not much of a risk, I know you guys love to say what you think!)
You can e-mail me ian@reallygoodthinking.com or stick something in the comments.&nbsp; Please give me a link, and a bit of a description, why you love it etc. in 140 or characters of less.&nbsp; 
Ta very much.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=39</link>
  <pubDate>Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>ATTENTION ALL EMERGING SUPERHEROES!  It's a great time to be on this planet: there's so much to be done.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit (thanks for all the pics in this post): Groene Sint
One Planet: To Be Saved. From Idiocy.
You’re needed, really needed. Are you up for the job? I stole those words from my mate&nbsp;Nicholas Bate's excellent and popular blog post he called "The Breakthrough 52".I was thinking about those words. What they mean, and what we can do about them.
Let me give you my take on what's happening right now.
I don't know about you, but in my experience, almost everywhere I turn, day in day out, I'm finding two types of people. 
Let's get the depressing ones out the way first.
OK these first types of people broadly speaking, tend to show certain characteristics.
They are self-seeking. They live to constantly increase their personal comfort, wealth, status, power, whatever. They tend not to "get" the emerging shifts in thinking, behaviour, and lifestyle that need to take place so we can work toward solving our planet's massive problems. 
They don't "get" our global connectedness. They don't understand how it will impact everything we've know.
Worse, if they do "get" it, they don't really care. Well, not enough to haul their ass out and, at personal cost or inconvenience, find ways to make a positive difference to others.
Outwardly, they'll probably tell you they do care, and prove it by making a song and dance about the £100 they once raised for "Children in Need" by wearing fancy dress in the office. 
You and I meet lots of people in public life, corporations, education, media, charities, in our street, down the pub, online and offline, who genuinely do not give a crap about anyone, or anything, other than what they find within their limited circle of family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. They are "nice" enough people. But they are uninspiring, dull, and largely closed to the bigger possibilities life has to offer. Oh, and they don't yet believe in superheros!I'm not slagging people off for the sake of it! Not at all. That little summary will soon lead me, like a bull on roller skates, to another, most exciting, most important idea. But first...............

The second type of people. YOU. The potential SUPERHEROES!
You and I meet lots of people in public life, corporations, education, media, charities, in our street, down the pub, online and offline, who genuinely care about others, about our planet, and about life beyond what they find within their circle of family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. They are fantastic people. They are inspiring, shinier inside and out than a ten foot glitter ball, and they're largely open to the greatest possibilities life has to offer.
Here's the big idea; both types of people need help!
Hey we all need help sometimes. Actually, if we are wise we'll admit we need help ALL the time! I know I do.
Anyway, the BIG idea is this; since you and I are discovering how to connect with each other, how to set free our love, compassion, and desire to make a difference, we can take the lead! Yea, we absolutely can! We can lead on a small scale. We can lead on a big scale. Doesn't matter. But we have to lead.
If you check out the coming trends for 2010, you'll find some clues about where our leadership is desperately needed. 
Even a superficial glance at trendwatching.com, or other trend predictor sites, gives us some clue about what might be emerging. Notice a lot of these likely trends revolve around the increasing perception, that we need to think and live differently, be more caring, more connected, and be ready to take action to change things for the better.Course, every time I see trend predictors which suggest people want a better, kinder world, I'm encouraged, but I'm realistic too. You and I know it will take a hell of a lot more than "trendiness" to make a real and lasting difference. 

BUT YOU'RE ONE OF THE SUPERHEROES WHO CAN AND WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE.
So go on. Step up. Be a leader. Whatever it is that you do. Lead. Take a position. Help people. Do good stuff. Don't wait to be invited, or for someone "important" to give you permission. 
Just do it. I mean let's do more of the good stuff we're doing already.WHY? Cos it's a great time to be on this planet: there’s so much to be done. 

One Planet: To Be Saved. From Idiocy.
We’re needed, really needed. Are we up for the job? 
WE'RE EMERGING SUPERHEROES, OF COURSE WE ARE UP FOR THE JOB!
If you found that helpful, there's more inspiring stuff here: Finding passions, being crappy, and video goodness.
I love it that you bothered to read this post. I hope you enjoyed it and found it helpful, thanks! I always like to know what you think. Did you reckon we'll find enough superheros stepping up to the job? What have you discovered gets you off your ass and out doing good stuff? Any advice? See you in the comments. Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=38</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Caring, AKA 'giving a crap':  Why it can make all the difference in our connected world.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Short of time?&nbsp; Aspin's Essentials version is here.
Impoverished Ethiopians search a city trash dump site for food and items that they can sell or barter in the capital city of Addis Ababa.
Picture credit:&nbsp; Zoriah © zoriah/www.zoriah.com 
Want to know what I think is the most&nbsp;exciting, interesting, and hopeful thing&nbsp;about our global digital connectedness?
Caring.&nbsp; 
Our ability to care,&nbsp;for each other and&nbsp;for our&nbsp;planet, and to scale that up beyond anything we've known before.&nbsp; 
Caring&nbsp;is going to be the game changer in almost every aspect of life.&nbsp; Without it, we are truly screwed and should feel very depressed indeed.
But I choose&nbsp;to believe&nbsp;we can pull-off a&nbsp;different way of thinking.&nbsp; 
Purely on the anecdotal evidence, that's just from the subjective, imperfect measuring system&nbsp;I call "talking with people", I reckon there's&nbsp;growing interest in opening up new ways of looking at our&nbsp;world, at how humans might live together in it, and what the possibilities might be for finding meaning and purpose.
I don't think it's&nbsp;mumbojumbo or&nbsp;crazy thinking.&nbsp; 
I believe this expanding interest&nbsp;comes from&nbsp;millions of folk recognising a&nbsp;desire for something more than just superficial, selfish, increasingly comfortable and consumption&nbsp;driven lives that many seem to have embraced and found wanting.
I think there's good reason to believe, even from my own limited conversations and discoveries,&nbsp;that a deeper, more meaningful life&nbsp;can&nbsp;grow and flourish when we nurture&nbsp;our care for others, our kindness, love, and compassion.
This sort&nbsp;of thinking is in line with the findings of researchers like Dr. Martin Seligman, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania and a founder of the "positive psychology" movement.&nbsp; He describes the ultimate state of human happiness as "knowing your highest strengths and deploying them in the service of something larger than you are".&nbsp; 
Caring for others and our world is definitely "larger than you are"!

Picture credit:&nbsp;&nbsp;Tibchris&nbsp; A less fortunate person waking up to a beautiful morning in San Francisco.
Social networks, the social web, are not in themselves an end (obviously!), but they are hugely useful tools to help us scale up our caring.
Since spring of this year,&nbsp;when I began to discover what it means to connect with people online, I've been blown away by the number, and calibre, of caring people I've found.&nbsp; 
Without these digital technology enabled communities, it's unlikely our paths would have&nbsp;crossed.&nbsp; Maybe some would, but most, definitely not, since geography, lifestyle, busyness, time shortages, and so on, made it almost impossible to connect in any meaningful way.
Now, we can build relationships we so many people.&nbsp; 
We can be part of all kinds of things that are much bigger than ourselves.&nbsp;&nbsp;And through shared values, projects, ideas, information and resources, we can join our caring forces, build momentum, and make a positive difference in so many new ways, and&nbsp;improved old ways.

Picture credit:&nbsp;&nbsp;Wonderlane Begging in Bangladesh&nbsp;- a child caring for a child in poverty.
Caring, AKA "giving a crap", is the factor that will make all the difference in our world.
People who care&nbsp;make things happen.&nbsp; They are arsed.&nbsp; They get up when they've been pushed over.&nbsp; They press on.&nbsp; They see what matters -&nbsp;that's what they care about -&nbsp;and they focus on it.&nbsp; They find a way to do what needs to be done.&nbsp; 
Before digital connectedness, and the real, face to face relationships that are emerging for us&nbsp;day by day&nbsp;through it, I knew there were caring, world-changing, amazing people "out there" somewhere, but it was often difficult,&nbsp;to find them and to&nbsp;feel very connected.
In the hectic rush of daily living, those great people seemed few, and far between.&nbsp; When I&nbsp;did find&nbsp;them, for&nbsp;reasons I've already mentioned,&nbsp;and despite their willingness,&nbsp;were not so easily&nbsp;accessible.
A solution to the limitations of our capacity to care.
No matter how much we care,&nbsp;want to help others, change things, make&nbsp;a difference, we can't do much on our own, since&nbsp;we as&nbsp;individuals are "not scale-able".
We&nbsp;need other&nbsp;people.&nbsp; I need other people.&nbsp;&nbsp;I need their help.&nbsp;&nbsp;I want&nbsp;to help them too.&nbsp; Those people are YOU.
And when it comes to wanting to do something useful and meaningful with my life,&nbsp;to make it count for something, and&nbsp;to share that something with&nbsp;like minded&nbsp;people, I don't think, thanks to all of YOU,&nbsp;I'll&nbsp;ever need to feel totally isolated again.&nbsp; 
And neither should YOU!
If you found this post helpful, please pass it on.&nbsp;&nbsp;There's&nbsp;more inspiring stuff here:&nbsp;&nbsp;"A Life Less Selfish". 
I love it that you bothered to read this post.&nbsp; I hope you&nbsp;found it helpful,&nbsp;thanks!&nbsp;&nbsp;I always like to&nbsp;know what you think.&nbsp;&nbsp;Did you find others who share your passion to make a difference?&nbsp; How does our digital connectedness change things?&nbsp;&nbsp;Any tips for finding like-minded caring people?&nbsp;&nbsp;See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=36</link>
  <pubDate>Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Do something today that'll shape your future.  Finding passions, being crappy, and video goodness.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit: seo_qun 
Short of time?&nbsp;&nbsp;Skinnier version&nbsp;is here.&nbsp; Aspin's Essentials is here.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;
I did something today that'll shape my long term future.
It'll define me and show the world, should they want&nbsp;to look, what my biggests thoughts are,&nbsp;and what kind of person I am.When this gets out, some doors might slam shut. Others&nbsp;will open so wide you could get my neighbour and her incredibly rectangular bingo mates through it side by side - in gangs of ten!
So what did I do?
I gave my sparkling new publisher the first draft of words that, if all goes well, will appear on the cover of my first book when it comes out next year.OK, so it's not that dramatic! But hey, it's a big deal for me and I'm very pleased I've got this opportunity to write about something I really care about.
It's as if that woolly idea, that's always been some way off in the future, now has bones. 
Soon it'll have flesh, guts, a life of it's own. Yes, something of me will be in those pages, and to some degree or other, I'll be defined, and judged, by it. The reality is, instead of being only a dream which may be infinitely great, with no compromise or dirty rotten bits, my book will be "out there" and everyone will see how amazing, or crap, it really is!&nbsp;&nbsp;(Sorry for the melodrama! - it definitely will not be crap! - though actually, in the scheme of things my book is of negligible importance but ya get my point eh?)Anyway, though I'm bursting to tell you all about it, I better wait 'till everything's in place. Then, even librarians won't keep me quite.
Why am I telling you this?
For loads of reasons, not least of which is because I'm grateful for all the lovely, kind, generous, and outstandingly bright people I'm getting to know through our global, digital connectedness. I truly appreciate all the inspiration and love that comes my way through you guys! And if you give a crap about people, you naturally want to share stuff with 'em, right? Second, I know you'll help me with&nbsp;this book, so I want you to be part of what I'm up to from the start. The third reason's related, and came from a post I read today called "If We Want To Be Champions, We Should Talk About Our Goals" by Matthew Goldsbrough.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's only short, but a great little piece about a boxer named David Haye, perhaps you've heard of him? Anyway, that post kinda sums up another great reason why I'm telling you this today: if we get our ideas out there, instead of keeping 'em in our heads and never taking action, we increase the likelihood of making sensational things happen (and perhaps too, the risk of frightening ourselves to death - deal with it, why don't ya!).I've had 134 million great book ideas, but this is the first time I've been really serious about actually plonkin' my ass on a chair for long enough to write one! Oh yea, I really have discovered some important things I'm passionate about. I've stuff to say that I reckon'll help us build happier, more on-purpose lives too, so I guess that's the forth reason I'm telling you this stuff!And like a slinky&nbsp;radio DJ, that&nbsp;link brings us smoothly to this:
&nbsp;
Picture credit:&nbsp;&nbsp; ºìÍ·½í
Passion.
I think I've found mine. In fact, deep down, I've always known what my passion is, and my purpose, the "point" of my life, gets clearer everyday. I've found that purpose starts to emerge when we get in touch with our deepest passions, and start to be honest about them.But if you're struggling with this next question, help is on the way.
How do we find our passion in life?
A question lots of people ask. Sure it is. But it's a question that results in quite a bit of frustration, confusion, and for some, paralysis! Perhaps we should re-frame it and ask "how can we find our passions (more than one!) in life". If we could just stay still for a moment, I think most of us could see really obvious clues as to what our passions are. I know one of the major blockages is figuring out how, and believing we can, turn our passions into a lifestyle where we can still pay the bills and get by in the so-called "real world".But don't let those thoughts hold you back from this great video, it's one of the clearest most helpful we'll find on the subject! 
 
Thanks very much Randy Komisar and to Seth Simonds!
And remember when experimenting with finding our passions and doing stuff with them "don't worry, be crappy!".&nbsp; Take risks.&nbsp; Get&nbsp;stuff out there!&nbsp; We'll&nbsp;get better and better at it when we listen to feedback and have a little patience.
If you found that helpful, there's&nbsp;more inspiring stuff here:&nbsp; Want to live with passion? Follow your DNA. 
I love it that you bothered to read this post.&nbsp; I hope you enjoyed it and found it helpful,&nbsp;thanks!&nbsp;&nbsp;I always like to&nbsp;know what you think.&nbsp;&nbsp;Did you find your passion?&nbsp; Your purpose?&nbsp; How?&nbsp;&nbsp;What have you discovered about following your passions and having a&nbsp;clear purpose?&nbsp;&nbsp;Any advice?&nbsp;&nbsp;See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=35</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>How to be Cooler than a Siberian Sunbather when it comes to Twitter Lists (or Anything Else!).</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; Lauri Vain&nbsp;"Ice Hole Swimming"
Short of time?&nbsp;&nbsp;For Aspin's Essentials, click&nbsp;here.
Do you want to be a low value Twitter user?
Are you happy chasing your tail trying to keep up with other not-so-smart people?&nbsp; Do you think there are rules you ought to follow to constantly get more followers?&nbsp; Do you feel frustrated you've not been included in this list, or that?&nbsp; Are you content to settle for mediocre at best? 
If yes, carry on as you are, there's nothing more for you here.
How about you go away and find a post that'll teach you how to automate your Twitter account so you can tweet while you sleep?
If you're still here, and I suspect my lovely Twitter friends will be, then I'd like to share some ideas that are helping me stay cool, no matter how many lists I DO NOT get on, or however many people DON'T want to follow me!
Because you know what?

None of that stuff really matters!
That's right.&nbsp; How many followers we have?&nbsp; Not important.&nbsp; How many lists are we are on? Irrelevant!
Why?&nbsp; Because those kinds of measurements, taken on their own, are not the point.
The point is, in my opinion:&nbsp; it's who we are&nbsp;and what we are&nbsp;doing that matters.
That raises&nbsp;massive questions, and I hope we are working on what they mean for us and how we are responding to them.&nbsp; But they're the stuff of other posts, whole blogs, academic research papers, books, seminars, PhDs, global think tanks, philosophy, science, religion, psychology, spirituality, social theory, politics, football, shopping, ballroom dancing, and they generate millions of hours of discussions and debates.&nbsp; 
Hey, I love all that stuff but really, in this post, I just want to talk about Twitter lists!&nbsp;&nbsp; 

Picture&nbsp;credit:&nbsp; Kellan
So here's a list of thoughts toward reallygood thinking, that'll help us avoid the "ingredients of FAIL" and get those lists in perspective:
1)&nbsp; Twitter lists are random.&nbsp; 
They are arbitrary, subjective, personal, non-personal, thoughtful, stupid, amazing, rubbish, helpful, useless, accurate, wrong, you can go on and on.&nbsp; Go on, pick any words you like!
Lists are built by people and can be about anything people want to put in them!&nbsp; People have flaws, misunderstandings, insights, passions, they are lazy, full of ideas, egos, agendas, kindness, nastiness, greatness, hot air, world-changing actions, you can go on and on.&nbsp; Go on, pick any words you like!
2)&nbsp; If you are on one list and feel great about it, you'll soon find you've not been included in another and might not feel so good! 
How crazy to invest that kind of power in something external, something over which you have absolutely zero control.&nbsp; Yes, you can start a campaign to ingratiate yourself to those so-called influential people who create the most highly regarded lists, but even then, you may not be included!&nbsp; 
3)&nbsp; Lists may be useful, but I suspect some will simply use them as yet another status, or lack of status, metric.
I know there may be some who regard the number of followers someone has as the defining factor in measuring or determining that person's importance, influence, social value etc.&nbsp; I suspect those people will also regard the number of lists one is on to represent the same.
This attitude is a sure fire way to reinforce what contemporary philosopher Alain de Botton calls "status anxiety":&nbsp; just another thing to use to compare ourselves with others and check where we feel we come in our perceived rankings.
4)&nbsp; To be included, or not to be included, is important, or not important, depending on who is doing the including, or the not including, whichever you choose! 
If someone created a list called "most beautiful runners who have lost 20 per cent of their body weight since taking up the sport" (imagine you could have a title that long!) and I wasn't included, would I be bothered?&nbsp; Too right I would - IF it was created by my mates in the local athletics club.&nbsp; But if it was originated by @fatarizonarunner then I'd not be too upset being left out.&nbsp; 
The thing is, we often have expectations about how we want others to perceive us.&nbsp; We sometimes think folk should understand things about us, they should recognise our achievements, immediately see what makes us so worthy, and they should include us because compared to others on their lists, we are just as good, if not better!&nbsp; 
Again, this kind of thinking gets us nowhere.&nbsp; It's futile.&nbsp; It doesn't help us.&nbsp; It presupposes a world in which all facts, interpretation of facts, subjective judgements and understanding, are put into the mix and out pops a perfectly formed, fully comprehensive assessment of us and everyone else, and that sparks appropriate choices and actions.&nbsp; 
What kind of universe do we think we are living in?
5)&nbsp; So much stuff that affects our lives is random, accidental, flawed.&nbsp; 
Get over it!&nbsp; 
Let's be grateful (at least most of us reading this) we were not born on a rubbish dump in some sh** hole with no one to feed us, care for us, or help us grow up and have a decent life.
Being as cool as a Siberian sunbather is partly about getting things into proper perspective.

Picture credit:&nbsp; Lauri Vain
Here's a list of thoughts toward reallygood thinking, that'll help us move beyond caring about what lists we are on, or not on:
1)&nbsp; It's not about you (or me).&nbsp; It's about "we".&nbsp; So think-with!
I found a chapter called "It's not about you" in Dan Pink's great little book, "The Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The Last Career Guide You'll Ever Need".&nbsp; In it, the main character, Johnny, has to learn that essentially business, and life, are about being here to serve, not to self-actualise.&nbsp; The lesson is that most successful people improve their own lives by improving others’ lives. 
That can mean lots of things but generally, if we focus, not on Twitter lists, but on serving others, helping, creating value, then we are going to win.&nbsp; As self-help chap Zig Ziglar says “You can get everything you want in life if you will just help enough other people to get what they want”.&nbsp; And recently, I heard Professor Srikumar S. Rao say "in a me centred universe you'll have more than your fair share of anxiety".&nbsp; You'll find more of what he said here.
So, let's try to be a bit less selfish.&nbsp; This might help.&nbsp;
2)&nbsp; If we build lives based on our inner values, a sense of meaning and purpose, we won't be pushed around so much.
If our goal is just to get external recognition or approval (eg. being in the "right" Twitter lists), we are on shaky ground.&nbsp; We may get it, but it won't last, it seldom does.&nbsp; It blows hot and cold.
Personally, I love it when people like my stuff.&nbsp; It's great when they say how much they've benefited from one thing or another, and I do feel good when people say nice things about me or the projects I'm involved in.&nbsp; Of course, it's great to be included in so many Twitter lists, especially ones created by great people who put me in with some of the most interesting world-changing people!&nbsp; 
I acknowledge that, but I know it's not enough, and nor should it be!&nbsp; And no disrespect or ingratitude to anyone, in the scheme of things, I really don't care if I'm on your list or not, even if you are one of the most impressive thought leaders on the planet right now!
So, to be truly successful, our sense of meaning and purpose must be far bigger than our capacity, or need, for external approval, and we must try to keep it that way. 
3)&nbsp; Lists (approval) might make us subjectively happy for a moment, but there's a much greater experience, and it comes through finding, and serving, something much bigger than ourselves.
It's not so much "what" that thing is, we just need to have it.&nbsp; It may be something good, or bad, the effect is the same, it gives us meaning.&nbsp; Dr. Martin Seligman, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania and a founder of the "positive psychology" movement describes the ultimate state of human happiness as "knowing your highest strengths and deploying them in the service of something larger than you are".&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
Once we have that, we're on our way folks!&nbsp; Being on or off a list will make no difference at all when we are that clear.&nbsp; We can focus on this higher meaning and nothing will be too big a challenge.
4) Surprising things, people, resources can appear and help us get where we want to go, even if the people we think we need most don't know us or care about us!
It's great when the people with power to help us decide to do so.&nbsp; It feels good when a respected leader in our industry or area of interest knows us and acknowledges our greatness and contribution with a place in their list called "top 100 potato growers in the world".&nbsp; 
Whatever!
Don't you know, with all this digital connectedness, we can forget their list, or anyone else's, and help people around us.&nbsp; Sooner, if not later, someone will see that and do something good for us.&nbsp; Our skills, talents, ideas, love, kindness, friendship, can be discovered and appreciated by zillions of folk all over the globe, regardless of anyone's subjective approval of us!&nbsp; Point made!
5)&nbsp; Let's build our own lists.
I don't mean a Twitter list!&nbsp; I'm talking about something much more helpful and important.
Let's build great lists of positive stuff that'll keep us on track even when the external signs suggests we're having a tough time.
A few ideas our own lists could include:
*&nbsp; Stuff that&nbsp;matters to you most.&nbsp; Outline a picture of the direction you want your life to take.&nbsp; Note what gives you a sense of meaning and purpose. 
*&nbsp; Great qualities you naturally have that'll help you on your way.&nbsp; You are kind, caring, a good people person.&nbsp; You're great with kids, fab with figures, whatever.
*&nbsp; Someone, somewhere, cares about you, no matter what.&nbsp; Make a list of those caring people (if you can't think of anyone, that's a shame, but if you really can't, then focus showing your care to someone else).&nbsp; 
*&nbsp; List people you really care about, you don't have to know them personally.
*&nbsp; You've beaten the crap out of problems in the past, you can do it again.&nbsp; Make a list of your wins and how it felt.
*&nbsp; Think of things that have worked well for you, given you strength, made you grow.&nbsp; Write them down.
*&nbsp; Say thanks to the most important people in your life right now.&nbsp; Write down who makes the biggest contribution to you and think of a way to let them know you appreciate it.
*&nbsp; Ignore the small, irritating stuff, and focus on creating lists around the big stuff that matters (or the small stuff that matters).
Those were just a few examples of where we might start.&nbsp; But&nbsp;I promise you, if we put this Twitter list thing into proper perspective, we really will stay cooler than a Siberian sunbather, and we might even be happier too.
I love it that you bothered to read this post.&nbsp; I hope you enjoyed it and found it helpful,&nbsp;thanks!&nbsp;&nbsp;I always like to&nbsp;know what you think.&nbsp;&nbsp;What's your attitude to these lists?&nbsp; Are they another status, or lack of status, symbol?&nbsp; What have you discovered about having a big vision or sense of meaning and purpose&gt;&nbsp; Any tips?&nbsp; See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=34</link>
  <pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>25 'types' of people who still think they don't need to be digitally connected!  How many can you spot?</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; MarkHillary
Ain't this brilliant!
Since I discovered social connectedness (i.e. Twitter etc.) back in March, I'm glad to tell you lots of amazing things have happened:&nbsp; I've found great contributors and stories for my journalism work, been asked to speak at events, write, present, produce, collaborate, learned loads, had lots of laughs, and discovered world-class, world-changing people, ideas, and resources.&nbsp; &nbsp;And I know, from what people say, that shed loads of good things have happened for many of my online friends too.&nbsp;Last night I chirped that our digital relationships help banish creative and intellectual loneliness.&nbsp; Loads of people identified with that, many saying they'd found connections that started out on our screens, becoming long-term, strong, mutually supportive and beneficial friendships, often with people meeting face to face and working on good stuff together.&nbsp;I reckon we can always find smashin' people to share our passions, ideas, dreams, goals, and hopes.&nbsp; Ain't that brilliant?
Some just don't get it!
But despite the massive growth in this stuff, everyday I still get daft comments from people who just "don't get it".&nbsp; &nbsp;So I say: "Business, and life, are about people.&nbsp; People are on social networks, which we know (yip, us privileged ones who do get it! he he) are simply tools to facilitate something much bigger and more important than any one technical platform.".&nbsp; 
They still don't get it!&nbsp; &nbsp;Anyway, I've thought of twenty five "types" of people who in my experience so far say, or think, they don't need social media.
But hang on!
I am not slaggin' off these folk - after all the vast majority of people are not digitally connected, and it's not long since we weren't either!&nbsp; And my list most definitely does not including people with no access to the Internet, the disadvantaged, or those in terrible situations etc.&nbsp;Rather, I'm amused that less than a year ago, I was in quite a few of the following categories, and it was only thanks to a random discovery through a favourite blog, that I even bothered to look at Twitter!&nbsp;So let's see how many folk we can help by winning them over and showing them how to get connected.&nbsp; My reasoning:&nbsp; the more people who understand and benefit from this, the greater&nbsp;our chances of working together to do good stuff toward a better world.
Here's my random 25 types who at the mo, just don't get it.&nbsp; Oh, and I'll chuck in a bonus.

Picture credit:&nbsp; Lamrock-images&nbsp;(Course my list refers to no one in this bus queue!)
1)&nbsp; Self satisfied folk who believe they have everything they currently want.&nbsp;2)&nbsp; Journalists, broadcasters, presenters, directors, producers with established, well-paid jobs in organisations where they feel respected, safe, comfortable, and are creatively and professionally fulfilled (usually closing their eyes and minds to the crumbling structures beginning to collapse all around them).&nbsp; These people are quite rare since to my knowledge many&nbsp;do feel insecure about their current positions.&nbsp;3)&nbsp; Shop keepers who make enough money from people walking through the door without having to reach out to new customers or give extra value.&nbsp;4)&nbsp; Business people with a product of service that's in demand and for which they have little known competition.&nbsp;5)&nbsp; Creatives working in organisations, or freelancing with lots of work, where they feel comfortable, well paid, and respected, with some freedom to do things they love.&nbsp;6)&nbsp; Marketing and PR companies and their staff who currently have plenty of work doing traditional stuff for clients who are still able to pay them lots of money and who don't yet get the fact that these old methods aren't really working.&nbsp;7)&nbsp; People who are not hungry to expand or stretch themselves.&nbsp;8)&nbsp; Conformists, compromisors, and closed minded folk who have set ideas, fixed opinions and attitudes, and don't want to feel, or be, challenged.&nbsp;9)&nbsp; Celebrities who are OK with their current level of fame and think they'll continue to get adoration and acclaim just by keeping on doing the same things, perpetuated by big media.&nbsp;10)&nbsp; Academics who are surprisingly still feeling secure about their funding, even though ultimately their work may have almost zero impact.&nbsp;11)&nbsp; Wealthy/financially secure people who can fund anything they want and can't see themselves ever needing to connect with others except through paying them.&nbsp;12)&nbsp; People who don't go online much, or at all, those who have not yet tried social media, or even know what it is.&nbsp; Those who are scared crap-less!&nbsp;13)&nbsp; Trades people who get work from recommendation and established customers.&nbsp;14)&nbsp; Anti-social or arrogant folk who don't like community, conversation, connectedness, and don't love people.&nbsp;15) Folk with nothing to say, no ideas, no story they need to tell, no one they desperately want to help, connect with, or impress, or those who lack a burning desire to express themselves or communicate.&nbsp;16)&nbsp; People who do not want to change the world or make a difference since they feel quite comfortable as they are thanks very much.&nbsp;17)&nbsp; Those who do not care about other people or don't feel a need to make a contribution.&nbsp;18)&nbsp; Fakers who don't want multiple connections to eventually reveal who they really are.&nbsp;19)&nbsp; Professional people who don't see the relevance digital connectedness has to their work or lives.&nbsp;20)&nbsp; People in corporations, public institutions, well-off companies who are quite happy as they are and don't believe much will change to threaten their comfortable position.&nbsp;21)&nbsp; In-demand people who have highly sought after qualities, skills, or experience.&nbsp; Socially popular people with so many options they never want for friends or face to face interaction.&nbsp;22)&nbsp; Those who say they are too busy and think any form of online networking is a waste of time.&nbsp;23)&nbsp; Folk who have all they need to achieve their goals without external support, collaboration, or the approval/adoration of others.&nbsp;24)&nbsp; Stupid people.&nbsp;25)&nbsp; My friend Bob.
Bonus track:&nbsp; 
26)&nbsp; Funeral Directors.&nbsp;Do they use social media?&nbsp; No offence to anyone who has lost a loved one, but I was just curious.
Would love to here what you think of my list.&nbsp; Can you think of more "types" who look at you in a funny tone of voice when you say you love being digitally connected?&nbsp; What do you say to those who just "don't get it"?&nbsp; I really appreciate your comments so please go for it!&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=33</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Will our digital footprint eventually reveal the truth about us?  Or, what will we leave behind?</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp;&nbsp;Smabs Sputzer
Short of time? Skinny version&nbsp;here.&nbsp; Aspin's Essentials&nbsp;here.
Who knows what happened to them?
I don't know for sure where that school photograph was taken.&nbsp; It's believed to be Manchester, England in 1910.&nbsp;&nbsp;
What is for sure is those kids will most likely be long dead. 
Did they find "it"?
What kind of lives did they have?&nbsp; What mattered to them?&nbsp; What were their hopes and dreams?&nbsp; What did they expect from life?&nbsp; And as the years passed, did they ever find what they might have called "happiness"?&nbsp; Were they conscious of such a concept?&nbsp; Or were their lives so focused on the struggle to make a living they didn't have chance to discover how to make a life? Perhaps some of them did build meaningful lives and were grateful for the good things?&nbsp; Who knows?
What we&nbsp;leave behind, fist fighting, and a beautiful princess.
I've been thinking about one idea that makes our lives different from theirs, and its impact could last forever, good or bad.&nbsp; I'll tell you about it in a min, but first, let's talk about school discos, bare knuckle fist fighting, and falling in love with an Indian Princess.&nbsp;The other night I took my six year old boy to his "school disco".&nbsp; The school building's been around since the 19th century, so it's seen thousands of kids enjoy the fun and excitement of discos, or whatever kind of parties they had in say, 1910, about the time of that old photo.&nbsp;Seeing Alex having a fantastic time was great.&nbsp; Like most things he does, it brought back memories of my life at the same age, and how I loved the chance to let rip showing off at our school's discos.&nbsp; Doesn't seem long ago in some ways.&nbsp; In other ways, it's ancient history.
Photos and videos.
I've loads of photos of Alex having fun, and quite a few videos.&nbsp; I have no videos of me as a kid, just a handful of pictures, and I know of only one or two from my teenage years.&nbsp; &nbsp;I was brought up by my grandparents. My grandad died when I was nine, and gran in 1996.&nbsp; I don't have any close relatives who recall memories of when I was growing up, all the things I used to do, or what my gran and grandad were like.&nbsp; Though that stuff's alive in my memory, it would be nice, from time to time, to hear things about my younger life from someone else who remembers those amazing times that shaped me.&nbsp;That's why it was excellent to see my "auntie Gillian" the other day (really she's my first cousin once removed!), the only person&nbsp;I'm in contact with who knew me as a kid.&nbsp; She gave me a photo that transported my mind back in time, and sparked my imagination.&nbsp; She gave me a photo of Clogger Jack.
Clogger Jack.
&nbsp;
Clogger Jack is my great, great, grandfather.&nbsp; He died in 1931 but it was amazing to see this photo taken around 1900.&nbsp; All I know about Clogger Jack is what Gillian told me:&nbsp; he worked as a steeplejack, and as a bare knuckle fist fighter in Blackburn, Lancashire, he was a pretty tough guy!&nbsp; His brother, Luke, is said to have fallen in love with and married an India Princess - that's a story I'll definitely be following up!&nbsp;The point is, we know so very little of Clogger Jack and his brother Luke.&nbsp; They don't have a "digital footprint".&nbsp; They didn't take photos and put 'em on FLICKR.&nbsp; They never wrote an e-mail, took a digital video for&nbsp;YouTube, or wrote a comment on someone's blog.&nbsp; All I know of them is a couple of pieces of information passed on by word of mouth, and I've no idea how accurate it is.
Things will not be the same for us or our kids!&nbsp; - our digital footprint could, in theory, stick around forever!

I wonder if my son Zach inherited 1/64th of Clogger Jack's genes?
If you want to know about someone, you'll probably start by doing an online search.&nbsp; It's likely you'll find all kinds of stuff about pretty much anyone you want.&nbsp; &nbsp;In theory, our online details will be around for a long while, perhaps forever.&nbsp; Our kids, and their kids, will grow up in a connected world where information is freely available.&nbsp; We are just getting used to what that might mean, but they'll know nothing else.&nbsp;Whilst I know almost nothing about Clogger Jack, and beyond my own family experience, relatively little of my grandparents, my kids will know lots of things about me, and you.&nbsp; Many of us have already left a massive digital trail.
So, what do we want to leave behind?
Leave behind, not just in the sense of a legacy after we're gone, but in terms of how we are known and perceived in our lives now and in future.&nbsp;&nbsp;We know this Internet stuff won't just disappear, we'll have to live with it, good or bad.&nbsp;Here's the good news, and the bad.&nbsp;Think about this:&nbsp; Perhaps our "digital footprint" will, on balance, reveal who we really are.&nbsp; What I mean is, what we say, and what is said about us, will present a picture of different aspects of our lives, our activities, and personality.&nbsp; Even if someone tells the odd lie about us, is nasty, cruel, or totally inaccurate, I reckon, over time, on balance, the digital data about us will add up to something close to a fairly accurate picture of who we really are.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;That's scary.&nbsp; It's also liberating.&nbsp;If we are fake, or out to rip people off, or we want to pretend we're something we are not, then this digital connectedness and everlasting data might be said to be a bad thing, since what we truly are will eventually&nbsp;"come out".&nbsp;Here's the good news:&nbsp; If we want to do good stuff, be useful, helpful, kind, caring, fight injustice, have great ideas, make a positive difference etc.&nbsp; that stuff will "come out" too.&nbsp;So potentially, everything could be "out there" in the digital realm, possibly forever.&nbsp; How we live our lives, the authentic self, as much as it is revealed in the physical world, could be captured and be available to everyone.
Oh and&nbsp;don't forget the embarrassing stuff we did after a few too many.&nbsp; You never know what old pics our&nbsp;mates will&nbsp;digitise to give everyone a good laugh years after the event!&nbsp;
How do we feel about that?
Looking at Clogger Jack and the kids in school in 1910, we know we too will soon (relatively!) be gone.&nbsp; But perhaps we will not be as easily forgotten.&nbsp;Every day I hear, or&nbsp;think about the phrase "life is short".&nbsp; We know that.&nbsp; 
The question is, what are we going to do with the time&nbsp;we have, knowing that sooner or later, people will be able to connect the dots, put two and two together, and see what kind of person we really are?
If you found this post&nbsp;helpful, please pass it on.&nbsp; There's&nbsp;more inspiring stuff here:&nbsp; "On losing a friend.&nbsp; What will we leave behind?".
Thanks very much for reading this post. I really appreciate it and hope you enjoyed it.&nbsp;&nbsp;I want to know what you think.&nbsp;&nbsp;Do you believe what we really are eventually comes out through our digital life?&nbsp;&nbsp;What have you learned from discovering stuff about your ancestors?&nbsp; See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=32</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS32</guid>
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  <title>A Life Less Selfish.  Plus, Do the Green Thing: My Video Chat with Andy Hobsbawm.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit:&nbsp; minimouseaunt
Short of time? Skinny version&nbsp;here.
Once upon a time, a woman had a cow.
She put the cow on the village common to graze, after all, she was entitled to do so. That common was for everyone's benefit, so lots of families had their cow grazing there. The woman thought "Why not get another? I'll let that one graze too, and start growing my assets". So she did, and her neighbours did the same, after all it's in their interest to increase their livestock numbers too. They all got more and more cows and let them graze on the common. One day someone noticed its cow carrying capacity was under a lot of pressure.Everyone had thought the increasing cow approach was a sensible strategy for those families able to capitalise on the "free" grazing. But some began to wonder how long the once lush common could sustain this excessive depletion and soon, the damage would be so great the common was ruined and no one could graze even a single cow.
Here's the problem:
The benefits of each individual cow went directly to the family who owned it and no one felt obliged to put anything back. Eventually everyone had to bear the loss.This dilemma was described in a famous article called "Tragedy of the Commons" by the ecologist Garrett Hardin. He said if people act individually, thinking primarily of their own self interest, they will eventually destroy a shared limited resource, even though it is obvious this will be in no one's long term interest.
Ask Ari.
The ancient philosopher Aristotle (384 B.C.-322 B.C.) thought about this problem a very long time ago and said:"For that which is common to the greatest number has the least care bestowed upon it. Every one thinks chiefly of his own, hardly at all of the common interest; and only when he is himself concerned as an individual. For besides other considerations, everybody is more inclined to neglect the duty which he expects another to fulfill; as in families many attendants are often less useful than a few."
Have you heard of "the bystander effect"?
A young woman called Kitty Genovese was just a few feet from home when she was repeatedly stabbed by a random stranger. She managed to scream for help and stagger closer to her apartment block. She was attacked again, this time her injuries were fatal. This is a very sad story from New York City in the sixties. The newspapers later described how a large number of "respectable, law abiding people" had either heard or witnessed the attack, but none called the police at the time. Psychologists studied this incident and set up experiments to determine why so many people failed to take appropriate action (the bystander effect).
They didn't discover a lack of empathy. 
Instead, they found evidence that the more people who are around when a person seems to need assistance, the less chance of anyone actually helping. It seems there's a diffusion of responsibility, people generally assume someone else will report the incident, step in to help, or do what's necessary.I hope we never witness violence like the stabbing of Kitty Genovese, though every minute of every day, people are subjected to all kinds of horrors. What I do hope is that we will find the courage to help others when we see a need. I don't just mean in extreme situations, I mean whenever we can. Oh yea, that's a tall order.&nbsp; If we're honest, it's a bloody inconvenience too but I think it's something good to aim for.
If we want a kinder, more sustainable, better world, we are&nbsp;all&nbsp;responsible for helping make that happen and I reckon we can!
The fantastic thing is that now, we are truly able to come together and do stuff in ways that were, until a very recently, impossible.In the summer, I went to an event called Shift Happens 2.0 in York. I had chance to chat with Andy Hobsbawm from DoTheGreenThing.com. We talked about the unique time we are entering, that could make all the difference to how we live in the world. One of the things that came out of that chat was our need for us all to keep working together, taking action to create a better world, and encouraging others to do so too. We can't wait for politicians or for other people to solve the big issues of our time, we must each shoulder some responsibility to act and make things better.
You know what? I reckon changing how we live can be really hard work.
Sometimes, it's&nbsp;a pain in the ass to change things.&nbsp; I'm not joking when I say I struggle to form new, simple behaviours, like turning taps off sooner, let alone bigger changes needed to save our world! But all these small efforts add up, and we start wanting to do more and more.Anyway, here's the video chat I did with Andy Hobsbaum, hope you find it useful.
 
Andy Hobsbawm from Reallygood Pictures on Vimeo.
Course, no&nbsp;leader has everyone's&nbsp;support, or is above accountability,&nbsp;but we do need leaders who understand and care about the big issues that demand&nbsp;urgent attention.&nbsp; (Please see this link&nbsp;for some updated context on Andy's Obama references.)
I know, it feels like a ball ache when we think about changing how we live, tell me about it.&nbsp; 
The task seems so massive:&nbsp; my little changes (even my big ones!) are so, so, so, minuscule in a world of billions of people, huge corporations, and political and economic structures ravaging our planet.&nbsp; I'm not just talking about climate change.&nbsp;&nbsp;In a way that's a symptom of a lack of caring, a shortage of kindness, and a poor sense of the way our selfishness, choices, and actions affect others. &nbsp;As Tony Schwartz from the Energy Project says "We’re all in this together, and we literally can’t afford to act any longer as if we’re each free to pursue our self-interest with blinders on. The antidote is a higher level of awareness – the capacity to see the consequences of our actions over the long term and to make choices from that perspective rather than succumbing to our most primitive impulses.".
But a movement's started, it's gaining momentum, and we can be part of it.&nbsp; Actually, we must be part of it or we are all up&nbsp;Sh** Creek.&nbsp;
And I for one,&nbsp;don't want to end up like that woman with the cows.&nbsp;&nbsp;Thanks very much for reading this post. I hope you found it useful. I'd love hearing what you think. Tell me what you think are the most encouraging signs we can turn things around?&nbsp; What do you tell yourself to help you focus on making a positive difference?&nbsp; See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=31</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS31</guid>
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  <title>Want to live with passion? Follow your DNA. </title>
  <description><![CDATA[Picture credit: slworking2
Make a living or make a life? Do both.
The other day I went to see a friend. Well I hadn't seen the old chap for a while and I was in the area.
I'd spent the previous few days working with a bunch of sensational, fired-up, passionate and focused people. I was pumped, full of energy, ready to take on the world.
My mate suggested I meet him for lunch at the corporate giant where he has an "important" job. In reality he isn't important at all. The company has 16,000 employees. My mate's just a small widget inside a gizmo that's part of a massive machine.
When I got there, he wanted to show me around. I found the most soul-less working environment you could imagine. Can't speak for everyone there, but I did meet some pretty passion-less people. Almost instantly, that clinical, cold, so-called prestigious corporate environment was oppressing me, sucking out my energy, pulling me down. I suspect at least some of the folks in that creativity crushing place come alive when they're away from work! 
To me, my mate's job isn't worth half a million quid a year, let alone the relatively modest salary he probably gets.
Like many folk, my mate's built his life around his work, a job he doesn't truly care about. He feels trapped and the trappings he's accumulated to fit in with that crowd are costing him a fortune and keeping him down.
It was yet another thing to remind me how grateful I am for the life I'm building, and for the people who keep showing me what truly matters. I choose to listen and learn from those people and keep focused on the bigger picture, despite the difficulties.
I know it's a challenge but no one is likely to say "Hey! Come over here, I've already prepared a passionate, meaningful life for you. Here it is!"
For some, it's still really tough to imagine a life where we can follow our passion, make enough money to support our family, pay the bills, and afford the essential things. 
I get that.
But I'm convinced we now have opportunities for passionate living that simply were not possible, or at least very limited, five years ago. 
It does take quite a bit of effort, and not a little patience, to build a life around our passions and do the stuff that matters most.
But there are people, many not even as smart as you and I, who have made it happen, despite great difficulties, set backs, discouragement, or disadvantage. 
I am determined to be one of those people, and to help others get there too.
So here are two great videos I've enjoyed from Ian Sanders (author of Juggle! Rethink Work, Reclaim your Life). I've found them inspiring and useful to help keep me going in the right direction. You can get more good stuff at Ian's blog.
&nbsp;


&nbsp;


The above video is the second one of two videos Ian did with Gaz Vee, to see the first, please go here.
Juggle! Rethink Work, Reclaim your Life (Paperback) by Ian Sanders.

Crush It!: Why Now is the Time to Cash in on Your Passion (Hardcover) by Gary Vaynerchuk. You can get loads more good stuff at Gary's blog.

Thanks very much for reading this post. I hope you found it useful. I'd love to hear what you think. Have you struggled to find a way to make a living where you can be truly passionate? Have you built a life around what you truly love?&nbsp;I'd love to know!&nbsp;&nbsp;See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=30</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS30</guid>
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  <title>TED Inspiration and Shoot the Summer </title>
  <description><![CDATA[image credit: nguyendai&nbsp;
New thinking. New possibilities. New opportunities.
If you've already discovered TED Talks, I reckon it's likely you'll have seen the following two videos (I know, I don't mind seeing 'em again either!). 
Anyway, there's a semi-skimmed version of TED that runs in the UK called TEDx. 
I went to TEDxManchester where I found three notable contributors who know how to give a crackin' talk. I'll tell you about them in a mo.
Big TED.
I love listening to great speakers, learning new things, and getting a handle on good stuff that I can use and pass on to others. In part, that's what Reallygood Thinking is about.
So I'm very grateful to have the full-cream TED conference videos available to watch anytime. They remind me there are many amazing people, with stunning ideas, doing outstanding work, and helping build a better world. 
One of my faves is this talk by Ben Zander, a man full of passion, creativity, and new ways of thinking. He comes across as someone who cares deeply about people, an extremely attractive, and some might say rare, quality. 
It makes me feel special just listening to BZ and I bet you'll feel it too. 
This vid's a touch over 20 minutes....&nbsp;&nbsp;


This next talk is great too, for different reasons, but it's still about possibility thinking. It was the first video shown at TEDxManchester. The speaker is J.J. Abrams, a writer, director, and producer, who makes big dramas like TV's Lost, and films like Cloverfield and the new Star Trek.&nbsp;


These talks reflect the standard we've come to associate with TED.
World class speakers. World class ideas, knowledge, innovation from world changers. Inspiring. Hopeful. 
New thinking, new possibilities, new opportunities for us all to embrace, learn from, enjoy.
&nbsp;
Little TED.
So I was a bit surprised to find TEDxManchester's programme felt a tad short on impressive, inspirational contributors who could give us a much needed boost in these tough times. I really don't like being downbeat since I appreciate the potential opportunity a TEDx in the Northwest region of England could bring.
But with so many difficult issues and massive changes affecting our world, each of our lives, families, businesses and jobs, don't we need TEDx to give us the chance to hear more from leaders who can give us the benefit of their wisdom and experience, motivate us toward possibility thinking, and push us a bit further on through the challenges we face? 
Talking with people at TEDxManchester, I understand there's a real need for people who can show us how to make the most of what we have, and help us work together to create a better, more sustainable, more caring world.
I'm not sure TEDxManchester, composed mainly of speakers currently employed in traditional media organisations and academic jobs, really provided a sense of vision even a fraction of that for which TED is now famous. 
What I believe we got from some of the live speakers on the platform was, in my opinion, a little unremarkable, uninspiring and, unless you've been living under your duvet without an internet connection for the last few years, not that much of a revelation to a digitally savvy audience. 
Maybe I was expecting too much in the light of what I know of Big TED?&nbsp; I think many will agree the use of the brand name “TED” does set the bar very high in anticipated quality and inspirational value. 
Or perhaps it was a lost opportunity for us to benefit in a greater way from more remarkable, uplifting, outstanding people who have made things happen, overcome obstacles, and created meaningful stuff. I reckon there must be people like this around England's Northwest region who'd be willing to speak, don't you? If there aren't, we should be very worried.
To be fair to the TEDx Manchester organisers, they had&nbsp;a lot to live up to!&nbsp; They’ve already said they appreciate our honest feedback and will take it on board when considering future events.
The good stuff at TEDxManchester.

Hugh Garry, Shoot the Summer, TEDx Manchester.&nbsp; Image credit:&nbsp;SDN-Photography
As well as getting to meet lots of lovely, friendly, open-minded, deep-thinking, world-changing, kind people, who want to reach their potential and make a positive difference, three speakers stood out. 
Phil Griffin, an architectural commentator, spoke passionately, with loads of warmth and humour, about the urgent need to re-think our attitude to urban buildings, new and old. He connected with the audience and provided a refreshing perspective on sustainability and care for communities when considering design and development. 
Paul Coulton from Lancaster University gave an ace talk on how mobile games can generate ideas that spread. He was incredibly funny, knew his stuff, and despite being on at the very end of the day, won the audience over immediately, and kept us engaged with a superb presentation. Some of Paul's stuff is here.
My favourite talk at TEDxManchester was from Hugh Garry, who's Twitter (@huey) bio describes him as someone who " does interesting digital things with Radio 1". Well Hugh does a lot more than that and his talk on the Shooting Summer project for the BBC was gripping. 
In the Summer of 2008, Hugh visited seven festivals with a bag of mobile videophones, gave them out to the audiences and band members, and asked them to "film what you want". The results were edited into an hour long film that you can watch here or here.
The thing about Hugh is he seems to be a passionate person and possibility thinker. I enjoyed his talk since it was full of stories about his projects, and you can tell the guy loves people and ideas. 
From what folk at TEDxManchester were saying, he appears to have encouraged lots of us to think more about the creative opportunities we can unlock by letting others have a chance to tell their stories. Lovely stuff!
I hope you get chance to sit with your feet up and enjoy watching "Shoot the Summer".
Thanks very much for reading this post. I hope you found it useful. I'd love to hear what you think. What do you get from TED Talks?&nbsp; Did you enjoy TEDx?&nbsp;&nbsp;What do you want&nbsp;from such events?&nbsp;&nbsp;If you put on conferences etc., how do you decide what's important in selecting speakers and content?&nbsp; See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=29</link>
  <pubDate>Sun, 4 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS29</guid>
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  <title>How I'm learning to not get overwhelmed by infinite opportunities</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Photo credit: ehpien 
&nbsp;
Every day I have loads of fresh ideas.
If you're anything like me, you'll have them too. 
We meet tons of people, read thousands of words, watch dozens of video clips, enjoy plenty of conversations, and get to all kinds of places.
Every day we discover new possibilities. 
We put long established concepts alongside new ones and bang, there's another option to pursue. 
We help people. They help us. More opportunities emerge. 
We're in the pub and see a poster, a beer mat, someone's t-shirt, and whey hey....there's another creative explosion! 
For me, it's when I go for a run, listen to a tune, race my six year old son down a mountain on a bike, make some biscuits, get threatened by yobs whilst out filming, or ride the tram through Blackpool illuminations. 
It's always the same: ideas, possibilities, creative combinations, business opportunities. They gang up on us, exciting us, frustrating us, helping us feel alive, optimistic, successful, or sometimes like a loser, a failure, on and on. 
I write a lot of this stuff down, and as if by magic, more ideas appear. 
Some of these are the seeds of what's needed to solve big problems. 
They could be the start of a great TV series, another book, or an elaborate water garden. Or perhaps there's enough there to start a movement that'll help us change the way we live, treat each other and our planet better, or at least make us loads of cash, and we could use that money to do good, in a big way. 
The trouble with all these ideas is there's only so much time in each day, each week, each year. 
An idea is an idea, nothing more. 
In fact, it's powerless without action. And there's the problem. 
All these ideas, constantly appearing, always reshaping, one after the other - forever!, need taming. They need structuring. Chunking down, whipping into shape, and putting into action. 
Well there's no way any human being could ever act on even a tiny fraction, or do justice to the potential scale and possibilities of more than just a few. 
So you know what? Personally, I'm finally going to accept that fact. I'm stopping feeling guilty. I quit thinking I'm a failure cos I can't do something with ALL this stuff. I'm driving away the urge to start yet another project that'll last about a week and then flop on its fat arse unfinished with all the other couch potatoes that went before it. 
Enough of that. 
I have one life on this planet and I'm accepting my DNA.
I own it! I am what I am. I'm an ideas man! That's me. I can't help it. Can't turn it off. 
But here's one of the keys that's helping me get control and it will work for anyone: 
I have a definite major purpose for my life, and everything I choose to do, will in some way or other, serve that major purpose. 
I'm not talking about being completely serious and focused twenty four seven. I'm not capable of doing that even for a couple of hours! Nor do I want to bore everyone to tears, with no time for spontaneity, fun, or a curry and six pints down the Dog and Ferret with my mates. Not at all. But generally, what I'm doing is building my life with a very clear eye on an overall purpose and sense of meaning about what I'm about and what I hope to do with this life. 
So how I handle these constant, overwhelming ideas and opportunities (yes of course, they're all brilliant!) is to ask myself "how do they serve that definite, major purpose?". 
The "trick" of writing stuff down. 
I reckon the trick, if the idea is good, even if it doesn't fit my overall purpose, is to write it down, capture it in some way. Then let it go out of our head. After all, it's written in the book if we should find it does serve some purpose for us later. 
This way, we'll pick just a few good ideas to run with, a manageable, actionable number, and determine what can be done to make them grow and propel us toward the next stage of our bigger plan. 
That's it. Simple. 
So those amazing ideas, that are fantastic, potentially lucrative, and exciting, are no longer a distraction, and we don't feel guilty for not maximising them all. Why? Because we're on a mission. We've a big plan. All our energy is focused toward that. Good ideas, even great ones, can be parked if they don't serve this sense of meaning and focus we've defined, which comes from our definite major purpose, and being clear about where we want to be. 
That's it. Plain and simple. 
That's how I'm learning to not get overwhelmed by infinite possibilities...and so are you! 
Thanks very much for reading this post. I hope you found it useful. I'd love to hear what you think. How do you stop yourself running away with all your brilliant ideas? How do you decide what's important and worth doing? How do you discover your definite major purpose? See you in the comments. Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=28</link>
  <pubDate>Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS28</guid>
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  <title>Think-with.  Charlie Leadbeater and our collective digital creativity</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Photo credit: mrrullmi&nbsp;
Short of time? My 4 minute chat with Charlie Leadbeater is here.
Think-you. Think-me.&nbsp;Better to....Think-with.
I was at a party the other day and a new&nbsp;friend said she&nbsp;admired how I'd managed to create a life around the things I'm good at and love to do.
I thought wow...I'm really flattered because it doesn't&nbsp;always feel&nbsp;like that! Isn't it amazing how people's perception of us is often a bit different than our own? In my eyes at least, and I can see the bigger picture, I think I'm getting there, but still a long way to go on this continuous journey.
Anyway, I started thinking about what my friend said.
Yes, there are some things I'm really good at. I'm blowing my own trumpet aren't I? 
Well it's true, there are one or two skills I'm mastering that I know I can do better than almost anyone&nbsp;I've&nbsp;met (so far, and in my modest opinion of course!). If we look at our lives, there'll be things that, potentially, we can do exceptionally well, even if we haven't yet put in the hours to master them.
But you know what? It takes a lot more than being great at just a tiny number of things to be successful, no matter how you define success. And the uncomfortable truth is, there are plenty of rather important things that we need to get done, when building a business and a life, and we're rubbish at them!
Personally, there's some stuff I'm required to do that I've no interest in, and I don't want to spend time figuring out how to do it. Even if I had lots of time to learn, without passion or natural aptitude, at best I'd just be at the bottom end of mediocre.
&nbsp;
Well here's some good news!
We no longer need to&nbsp;be alone.&nbsp; We need others.&nbsp; Now we can connect with&nbsp;them.
There are other people with the skills we ain't got! You know, the ones we need to make progress and move forward. All we have to do is find those people (that takes effort of course, but what's the alternative?) and in return, give them something we're good at that will help them.
This kind of thinking is so simple. It's been making a practical difference to folk for thousands of years! What's different now is that it is much, much easier since we're all potentially connected through digital technology.
Here's some great stuff Charlie Leadbeater, author of the book "We Think" told me at the Shift Happens 2.0 conference in York recently.
&nbsp;


Shift Happens - Charles Leadbeater Interview from Reallygood Pictures on Vimeo. 
Thanks to Erin Maguire from GetAmbITion!
Let's get together.&nbsp; Create new ways to live and work.&nbsp; Ask interesting questions and look for interesting people.&nbsp; Celebrate, and make the most of, our connectedness to change the world for the better.
But please let's not forget.................
&nbsp;
We need to be wise to avoid the "great seduction".
Recently, I interviewed the affectionately named&nbsp;"Anti-Christ of Silicon Valley" for a BBC programme.&nbsp; He's the&nbsp;entrepreneur, writer, and thinker Andrew Keen, author of the mind-sparking book "The Cult of the Amateur".
Despite his dark nickname, Andrew's a lovely guy who says some very important things that can help us be aware of the potential pitfalls of the Web 2.0 revolution, as well as recognising its humongous benefits.
"What the Web 2.0 revolution is really delivering is superficial observations of the world around us rather than deep analysis, shrill opinion rather than considered judgement".
Andrew points out that in this "new world" where everyone has "equal voice", it's very difficult to know the difference between people who have valuable, well researched, accurate information, expertise, ideas etc., and those who are simply "popular", or appear to have important credentials or expertise but are in fact validated only by others who don't really know what they're talking about either!&nbsp; This is part of what Andrew Keen means by the "great seduction".
&nbsp;
We must be clear thinking when it comes to the "think-with" concept, and when&nbsp;collaborating&nbsp;with others.
The fantastic possibilities for connecting with people, and the culture of "think-with", must be balanced against the need to find, and work with, only those people who really do have the expertise they claim.&nbsp; The "think-with" concept is going to hurt us if those we team up with are not able to deliver what they say they'll bring to the table, or if they are deceiving us in some way.
So use the possibilities of "we-think" to test things out and avoid being taken for a digital ride.&nbsp; 
I've been there in the real world, where I've trusted others to help fill in the gaps and do the stuff I'm not good at.&nbsp; I've been ripped off, lost lots of money, energy, and got loads of stress and upset.&nbsp; If it can happen in face to face business and personal relationships which have been established for years, how much more potential is there to be duped in on-line contexts where all kinds of claims can apparently be made without foundation or independent validation?
&nbsp;
"Think-with" is still the most powerful concept.
Having said that, I do believe&nbsp;"think-with" is an amazing, potent, practical and essential idea.&nbsp; I've written about it&nbsp;here too.
Let's use it to help strengthen our Reallygood Thinking, help each other "make a living, make a life", and do remarkable stuff together.
&nbsp;
I'd love to hear from you.&nbsp; How have you found the idea of "think-with" to help you?&nbsp; Has it back-fired?&nbsp; What have you learned from our global digital connectedness?&nbsp; See you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=27</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS27</guid>
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  <title>How to calm down when you're really flamin' angry!</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Photo credit:doug88888&nbsp;
Short of time? Skinny version &amp; summary here.
I was flamin' angry this morning!
Ranting and raving! Standing up. Making stupid snarling noises. My face and ears getting all heated and flame coloured. 
For a full two minutes. 
Sitting down and stewing. 
For a full three minutes. 
Then I had an idea......
Anyway, my fume-atious, hot-under-everything, explosure (did you like that word?) was ridiculous, out of all proportion to my perceived injustice. 
I had let myself be affected negatively, emotionally, irritatingly, by a downbeat conversation with an aggressive, up-her-own-backside, patronising, so-called "important" media executive who in real terms, has little or no impact upon my life - if I don't allow her to that is.
What kicked me off, without boring the hell out of you, was one of those business situations: where a so called "established", "respectable", "mainstream", person or organisation says one set of things, pretends to stand for something important, something worthwhile, something you believe matters, and then, you find out that that person or organisation is not what they claim to be, do, or stand for at all. 
Instead, their "good" image is just a facade for some self-serving, benefiting the same old, same old, elite group of people, keeping the status quo, while outwardly hoodwinking the rest of us into believing there's a greater, noble cause that's worth supporting.
Such projects can attract money and investment through subtle deception. They're presented as good for the community. In reality, they're lying to people, but with a smile on one of their two faces.
I hate running into that stuff. And that's why I was flamin' angry this morning.
So what was the idea I had?
Well my idea, after that angry outburst (I try to have those only when I'm on my own!) was to turn things around and help me do something to make a positive difference. I'll get to what it was in a moment! 
What often happens when folk get irritated is they just whinge, moan, complain, and generally drive other's up the wall with their unproductive grumbling. But they take no action. 
I'm in training.
I'm learning to turn crap into good stuff, oh yea! It definitely isn't easy but like most things, it gets easier with practice. Course I'm a long way off where I want to be but I'm in for the long haul. 
Anyway, I decided to use my heightened state of resolve to get on the phone and set some good stuff in motion: things that could challenge that bull-crap project, create something genuine that does what it say it will do, and benefit lots of people. "Yes!" I told myself, "I flamin' well am gonna use this irritation to make something good happen".

But first, STOP! 
Being wound up is sometimes good for entertainment value, or if you're a bare-knuckle street fighter (a relative told me my great, great, grandfather was Clogger Jack, a well known Lancastrian pub fighter, but that's another story). On the whole though, it's not good for business, building better relationships, or handling difficult situations. No. For those we generally need to be calm.
Here's how I calm myself down, and it works!
I've got nothing magical to tell you and I know you'll have heard this stuff before but DO IT!
Changing our mental state and re-positioning our thinking is Reallygood Thinking!
* Go on then......have a flamin' good rant!
I've never been much good at covering up my emotions. I don't think that's very healthy. It's not a good idea to have a full on emotional free-for-all just anywhere you happen to be. I believe self control is a good thing you know!
But when I'm angry, I will let rip. I acknowledge how I feel. I rant and rave. I describe in great detail and at great verbal speed, all that's bothering me. I get it out.
And then, I literally move on.
* Get moving. I go for a run.
Yip. For me, running is the ultimate calming action. I love it. It might not be the best thing for you, but getting off our arses and moving about definitely seems to work to change a negative mental state into something more positive.
I always, always, always feel better during, and after, a run. I reckon fast walking works well too, or cycling, or ...whatever. Find something you like and get moving. Or even just go somewhere and have a physical break in an environment other than where your anger started.
* Let's stop feeling "hard done by".
I bet most of us reading this are not that badly off. Though I'm aware there'll be some who are going through extremely difficult times, bad health, the death of a loved one, money worries, suffering violence, abuse, or seemingly insurmountable problems. If you are then what I'm saying must sound shallow and pointless. We live in a world where random, unpredictable, harsh circumstances can come to any of us at any time, so I feel for you.
For the rest of us though, I'll say it again: stop feeling hard done by!
Feeling hard done by lead to my feeling angry and upset with that woman this morning. So I decided to re frame it. I acknowledged the world is what it is. There are things we can change. There are things we can't. A lot of things are random. That woman's being in a position of power and privilege is just how it is at the moment. It's not that the universe has decided to exclude me and give her the "good stuff", not at all. She's played the game, been, from what I can see, an approval seeking, automaton and political game player to get into her current position. 
I've made different choices and I'm finding ways to do what I believe are the right things. Those things are getting me where I need to be to help people and make a difference in a way that doesn't require a disconnect between my values and lifestyle.
* Try not to make sweeping, unhelpful judgements about stuff that's impossible to judge.
Hey, I'm not saying that media executive is a bad human being.
We can't look into the apparently unhelpful, smug, and selfish way I feel she acted toward this morning and conclude much at all really. Certainly we are not able to make any big judgements about people's lives in general without the benefit of complete insight into their total history, psychology, and beliefs. We can't know or understand all the circumstances that lead them to behave as they do or to make the choices they make.
When we think like this we realise how daft it us to make massive judgements about folk! All we can reasonably say is that their specific actions, in specific circumstances, appear to be unhelpful, unkind, inappropriate, or selfish or that we simply don't like them!
So let's restrict our judgements to very specific things and then decide what we can do to move things forward to a more positive place.
This kind of thinking really does help take the sting out of my feeling angry and helps me re-position myself and calm down.
* Here's a great idea that seems to always help me - fast!
That rude TV executive was very annoying and her stinking attitude wound me up. But what I'm training myself to do is to re-focus things. Instead of concentrating on her and how crap I allowed her to make me feel (if only for a little while!) I used this very powerful technique to turn my thinking around - fast!
In the last few weeks, I've met, interviewed, and chatted with some of the most amazing people. They are kind, thoughtful, bright men and women who want to work with others to create a better, more sustainable world. These folk do not live just for their own personal gain, comfort and status. Rather, they are part of a massive global movement toward thinking and behaving differently, to help re-shape things!
These are the people that inspire me.
I want to work with them, help them, talk to, write about, film, interview, or support them. Focusing on these people and not the crap ones makes a huge difference.
So that's another key. Every time we come across someone unhelpful, who diminishes us, let's try to move on from them as soon as possible and get around the good people! I know it's not always easy, or even doable physically, but we can do it in our thoughts.
* So I turned my negative , ranting and raving anger into a kind that is helpful, overcomes obstacles, and gets things done.
After my run, I was still annoyed with that earlier conversation, though in a very calm and clear thinking way. In a focused manner, I was able to use that momentum to pick up the phone, push through the gatekeepers and objections, and discuss my big project idea with someone who could help make it happen.
Those were my tips on how to calm down when we're flamin' angry and get something good out of it!
Hope you found them helpful. I'd love to hear what you think and how you cope with situations where you get wound up and need to calm down. Thanks for reading. See you in the comments! Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=26</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 8 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>On losing a friend. What will we leave behind? </title>
  <description><![CDATA[It was the best of days. It was the worst of days.
Doing work you love is fabulous. Doing it with people you love to work with goes a long way toward a happy life. 
July 2008. I'd had an amazing, sunny, fun filled work day in Blackpool, filming interviews with my journalist friend Lara. We were asking people what makes them happy, and what ideas they could pass on to help the rest of us look on the bright side a bit more. Most people's answers, when we got 'em to think about what really mattered, came down to relationships (after good health as a prerequisite for almost everything else): namely a loving family and caring, supportive friends. 
We'd got some good interviews "in-the-can", enjoyed everyone's company, and had a blast working with a team made up mostly of fab people we know and like.
Driving home I thought about how much I'd enjoyed my working day and how I appreciate folk who are not only good at what they do, but care about others too - it makes all the difference! It made me smile thinking how much my own friends and good relationships mean to me, and how rich I am to have such great people around - to love, and to be loved.
When I got home, my missus opened the door in tears. She told me our good friend Dr. Paul Fletcher had had a heart attack shortly after delivering a paper at conference in Australia. He'd suffered irretrievable brain damage. 
A week later, Paul was dead. He was only 43, the father of a five month old girl, May, and partner to Debs.

It must have been incredibly painful for Debs to write Paul's obituary. 
Here's an extract from that beautifully written piece Debs did for the Guardian newspaper. It gives some background to Paul, a friend of outstanding character, intellect, personality, warmth and extraordinary talent. A person who made my life, and many others, richer and happier: 

My partner Paul was a meticulous and accomplished philosophical theologian who had spent seven years, from 1984 to 1991, as a Christian Brother working in London, Plymouth, Liverpool and at a leprosarium in Liberia. 
Born and raised in Birkenhead, Paul attended St Hughes RC secondary school. As he was about to escape to a sixth-form place at St Anselm's college, owned and run by the Irish Christian Brothers, he lost Dessie, his best childhood friend, to a drug overdose. He felt the event marked a transition from boy to adult, and he announced his intention to become a monk. The news, I am told, was taken badly by the female population of Birkenhead. 
In 1988, while still a Christian Brother, he went to study theology at Durham University. He left the order shortly before taking his final vows, disillusioned by the restrictions increasingly placed upon the social work of the Brothers in Liverpool. Later he returned to Durham for an MA in systematic philosophy and subsequently a PhD. In 1997, he was appointed as a lecturer in religious studies at Lancaster University, where he remained until his death. 
Paul believed that philosophy belonged everywhere. His love of scholarship made him a confident speaker and formidable interlocutor. His love of life meant that nothing stood outside the world of ideas: politics, love, travel, beauty, food and football. His spirit shone in teaching. He could crack a subject like a code, and distil its essence in a single image or sentence. The breadth and depth of his reading were remarkable, but it was not just knowledge and intellect that made him a great teacher. It was integrity of character. He had a gift for putting people at their ease and encouraging others to enjoy the world as much as he did. 
He was also a talented sportsman and, in particular, footballer. At Durham he was awarded his colours and at Lancaster played for Red Star Bailrigg. Above all, he was a devoted fan of Liverpool. He is survived, and will be missed desperately, by me, his partner of five years, and by his greatest work, his baby daughter May Naz Fletcher. 
Paul was one of the most "sorted" people I've ever known. I wanted to write a little about what I learned from him that's helped me and will help you too. Even though Paul is no longer around, I'm grateful for the eight years in which I got to know him and for what he's left behind. Things that enriched me, my family, and countless other people.
What I learned from our friend Dr. Paul Fletcher is just a little part of what he left behind.
Though this post is sad, I don't want it to be depressing since Paul brought loads of joy and left us with great memories of a life short, but well-lived. So here are some of the good things for which I am thankful.
* He built his life around the things that matter.
Whether serving as a monk in a war zone, helping students and academics understand complex ideas, or enjoying time with family and friends, Paul's life was focused on doing the things that mattered. He lived a life consistent with his beliefs and values. 
Determining what is really important and then working to create a life around those things is a key to the "good life", a life of meaning and purpose. 
* There was no compartmentalising, no deep division between "public" and "private".
The good ideas Paul discovered, the truths he found, were applied to his life. He was consistent. What he was in public was a reflection of his true self. He didn't say or do things outwardly that didn't reflect what he was privately. His life and his work were totally connected and they informed and enriched each other. 
Psychologists tend to agree a disconnect between what we really are and how we behave is not healthy and eventually leads to misery. The opposite is also true. When we develop the confidence to allow the "real us" to direct our lives, we become more joyous, more peaceful, more connected to what matters, and ultimately, much happier. I think Paul lived that.
* People matter. They are worth caring about. They deserve our time.
Paul had worked in some terrible environments, helping people as they experienced real suffering, hardship, even death. He cared about them as a monk, and as a human being. I have met loads of people who knew Paul and I have found no one who didn't like him. I think it is largely because, like Debs said, he had a gift for putting people at their ease, encouraging us to stretch and make the most of our talents, and to enjoy the world despite the difficulties. 
Paul made a positive difference to people in all kinds of ways. If we aim to do that, we will win. We will be happier. We will be rewarded in ways only kind, giving people can know.
* He was humble and modest. 
I've met lots of bright people. I don't think I've met anyone as bright as Paul. He was "frighteningly" intelligent - in a non-scary way if you know what I mean! His knowledge was amazing. He could pull scholarly and popular sources from thousands of years of history out of his head so fast it was unbelievable. His ideas were unique and exciting. 
Despite his intellectual hugeness, being a confident speaker and formidable interlocutor, he never belittled anyone or appeared boastful or superior. Quite the opposite really, he was so down-to-earth he made me feel like he'd great respect for my ideas and for my struggle to try and understand the complexities of our world and beyond. I suppose that was one of the signs of Paul's inner security and peace - he didn't need to show how smart he was or make unnecessary plays to win approval. He was at ease with himself and others.
I'm learning how to stay calm and to not need to jump on everyone who makes a comment that I believe is intellectually unsound or who says something that shows they are not as bright as they like to think. Instead, I'm trying to see the good in people, to find better ways of engaging, and being more helpful.
* He knew how to suck the marrow out of life, to be fully alive, to seize the day.
The first time I saw Paul Fletcher I was in my favourite pub. I was at the bar ordering drinks and overheard snippets of an amazing conversation. Paul and his mates where discussing everything from philosophy to football, politics to bingo, ancient history to how to make a proper curry. 
That was Paul. 
His charismatic personality and ability to make everyone laugh naturally placed him at the centre of things. He loved life. He had so many interests. He loved conversation over a pint. He loved his football. His mates. He loved his partner Debs and little girl May. He didn't spend his time needlessly worrying about the past or things that might happen. He wasn't discontentedly waiting for some future time in which life would be perfect. Not at all. Paul was present in the moment. He was fully alive to the immediate possibilities life had to offer each day.
Perhaps we don't have enough kind, caring, generous people in our world, and now we've got one less.
What about your friends, the ones who are still here?
I hope my description of Paul doesn't make anyone feel bad because he seems like such a "good egg". Well, he absolutely was a great person. 
I hope you have great friends too. If you do, you will know who they are. They are the people who make your life and the lives of others infinitely better. They enable you to be greater than you would have been without them. They help you to grow, to think differently. They challenge you. Or they make you laugh. They turn up when you need them. They give a crap about what happens in your life. Oh yea they screw up, but when it comes down to it, they genuinely care about you. You can trust them. They won't rip you off. They listen to you. You listen to them. You learn from them. Sometimes they learn from you. 
Above all you understand, and want the best for, each other.
It isn't always easy to find these people, so when you do, don't let them down. 
Do your best to preserve the goodness that great friends bring. Appreciate their love and kindness. Don't mess it up with pettiness and selfish stupidity.
And perhaps there's much mileage in the idea that by being a good friend, we will have good friends.
When it all boils down, for me at least, alongside good health, the thing that truly matters is the quality of my relationships. I'll do what it takes to protect them, nurture them, and be grateful while I have them.
The friends we care about most will not be here forever. They may not be here tomorrow. I know the practical responsibilities of making a living, having a family, living many miles apart etc. all impact upon our ability to spend time with those people. But think about the ultimate and irreversible difficulty of losing them forever. Perhaps that will help us bring what truly matters into sharper focus. 
Sometimes I walk down a little narrow street in Lancaster where I live. 
At the other end I see the silhouette of a chap with a shoulder bag and think for a split second that it's Paul. 
What I would give to have another pint together and chat about all those big ideas one more time! 
So let's stop wasting our time on crap that doesn't matter and take every opportunity to enjoy the good friends we have now.
Paul's book, published recently, is available here.
If you found this post&nbsp;helpful, please pass it on.&nbsp; There's&nbsp;more inspiring stuff here:&nbsp; "Will our digital footprint eventually reveal the truth about us? Or, what will we leave behind?".&nbsp;
I'd love to know if you find this&nbsp;helpful, and if you have lost a close friend or relative, how did you cope?&nbsp;&nbsp;Hope to see you in the comments.&nbsp; Much love, Ian.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=25</link>
  <pubDate>Thu, 3 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Gratitude.  Perhaps the most powerful mental quality we can develop!</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Short of time? Skinnier post here: http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/more_info.asp?current_id=81
&nbsp;
Photo courtesy of *Gary Burdette
Three weeks ago, my missus, our six year old son Alex, and I came home with a new baby. Just twelve hours earlier a healthy boy, Zachariah Arlo Aspin, was born at lightning speed, after just one and a half hours labour. Fantastic! What an amazing, deeply moving, and utterly marvellous thing. We are so grateful.
Soon, loads of friends were round at our place to see Zac and my missus home and well. Someone even brought a bottle of Malibu (ooooh thanks very mucho!). 
The phone rang. It was another friend. "Well, what did you get?" she asked. 
"A boy, and we've called him Zachariah Arlo.....". 
"Oh, another boy?" "Are you disappointed?"
What kind of a question is that? Of course, I said "No we are not disappointed!...far from it. We are delighted to have a lovely child. Had he been a girl, we would have been just as pleased. We are very grateful to have a healthy kid".
I've thought about our friend's comment quite a bit. I'm sure it was just an off-the-cuff remark. I'm telling you, she is one of the most selfless, kind, thoughtful and world-changing people I know.
But the next day, someone else (known more for whinging than world-changing) asked exactly the same thing: "Oh another boy....aren't you sad you didn't get a baby girl then?". What?!!!! And then again, several times in fact from random people, since Zac was born! Friends tell me they also had these kinds of comments when their first two children where both boys, or both girls. 
So what's going on here?
Perhaps to some, living in our relatively affluent, twenty first century, me-focused, personal choice is king, consumer-centric, imagine a perfect-life, comfort seeking cultures, having a boy AND a girl is the ideal scenario. If they're going to have just two children, well, one of each is best, not two boys, or two girls. No. One of each.What about us? Do we imagine, for all kinds of complex reasons, that a perfect (or just a "good"!) life consists of certain combinations of things or circumstances? Like having sons and daughters? One or more of each? What about success in its broadest sense? Do we define successful people only as those who can tick certain boxes, excluding many other possible definitions of "a good life" as somewhat incomplete or inferior?We all know people who map out how their lives ought to be, things they want, their career goals, type of home, family, friends, social life, money, achievements, community work, everything! Even if the details aren't well defined, they're still based on the hope of attaining some kind of imagined perfect state that will bring full satisfaction. Oh yes, we'll be so grateful when all these ships come in, but not until they do! Ya know I reckon it's really easy for any of us to slip into thinking like this about our lives in general.This sort of thinking is making us miserable!Here's the problem: if we do that so specifically, fixing gratitude and happiness only in the future, when things fall short of our expectations, our hopes and perfect standards, we are disappointed. We'll probably moan and complain, as if the universe owes us this ideal state of affairs and anything less is just not good enough! There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve our situation. But there is something wrong when we forget to be grateful for the good we find now.(Reallygood Thinking: It helps me to think of developing a positive and grateful state of mind as a journey, not as a final destination. All journeys are different and they have ups and downs. I try to find things to enjoy along the way.)We forget to be grateful!Sometimes we forget about or ignore the good stuff that comes from all the really important things whilst we whinge about the trivial. When we do this, we miss out on something very powerful: the opportunity to choose a more helpful, more nourishing mindset. When we don't savour those good things we already have, we set in motion patters likely to damage our potential to enjoy positive things that come our way. So the more we get, the less we're able to appreciate. We keep accumulating all kinds of things, experiences, friends, but they don't sustain us. We wreck their benefit through our own ingratitude.I bet we all know ungrateful people who seem unable to find peace and enjoy what they already have. There is a choice. We may choose to be grateful. Or not.Well I'm definitely not gonna let ingratitude destroy my potential to find peace and enjoyment in life, and you shouldn't either! Personally, I'm so pleased we've been able to have a child at all, let alone two! I'm learning to choose to be grateful for every good thing. Actually, some of the bad stuff has turned out to have produced good in the end, though with other situations I can't see anything positive yet. I don't know about you guys, but I've decided to focus on the good anyway. And where might that lead? To gratitude of course. (Reallygood Thinking: I try to find one aspect of a difficult situation for which I can be grateful. Even if the thing as a whole is a pain in the arse, if I can draw out some gratitude for a tiny part and reframe that bit in a positive way, that can sense of gratitude might spread and change everything.)

Photo courtesy of © zoriah/www.zoriah.com
What helps us focus on the good?
Some people really are in situations so bleak that finding anything for which to be grateful would take massive mental strength. There's no way I'd ever want to suggest anyone in these tough circumstances should just look on the bright side. We know that's not enough.And we've heard people say that knowing of other's misfortune - due to the randomness of birth, war, disaster, whatever - has little impact on their own ability to be grateful. Well, it has an impact on me, and thankfully, upon loads of other people who want to make a difference for the better.I often read the blog of international photojournalist Zoriah. He specializes in documenting mass casualty disasters and humanitarian crises. His pictures constantly remind me of the terrors and struggles many millions of people face each day. They make me ask how I'd feel if I'd to experience such suffering, or if my children, loved ones, or friends went through such pain, or even died. I'll assume most of us reading this want to feel compassion for others, and to turn that into action that improves things. If you're one of those people, perhaps counting our blessings and determining to be grateful is a good place to start.(Reallygood Thinking: People are dying, struggling, being driven from their homes, losing children, hungry, in slavery, suffering violence and abuse, trapped in poverty. This is going on all day, every day, and when I think of it it helps stop me being ungrateful for relatively minor inconveniences.)
Counting blessing rather than burdens
When I think of the struggles and suffering other people face, and some are close to home, including people I know well, it always helps me be grateful for what I have.So many, many folk have a very tough time and there's relatively little they can do to change things. Others could change things, but they are weakened by the struggle.I look at my life and I can't help feeling grateful. Many of us, relatively speaking, could feel the same gratitude, for so many reasons. We don't have all these good reasons cos we are great, or we've done something to deserve them. It is largely because we were born somewhere that gave us all kinds of advantages denied to many born elsewhere. So we are lucky. I choose to be grateful for the luck of my birth.Well that's one thing for which to be grateful, but there are so many more. Let's just open our eyes and they won't be hard to spot.(Reallygood Thinking: I set a timer for 5 minutes and list, without judgement, everything that comes to mind for which you I'm grateful now.)
What can gratitude do for us? It can make us 25 per cent happier that's what!
Recent studies show gratitude not only improves our mood, but practiced habitually, it makes us happier! Work by Emmons and McCullough (2003) had participants write down 5 things they were grateful for each week, for 10 weeks. At the end of the study this group were 25% happier than a comparison group who simply listed five events from the week.Another study by Seligman, Steen, Park, and Peterson (2005) found that 6 months after they'd begun doing a simple gratitude exercise, participants were happier and less depressed than a control group.
You are driving people away you ungrateful git!
The other night, I went to the pub with some parents from my son's school. One chap who has a hell of a lot of good fortune by almost any one's standard began complaining about his colleague at work. Then about another colleague. Then another. He then moved on to moaning about his new car, the people who maintain it, the fact it cost him a shed load of money and the sat nav lacks a particular feature. He went on to moan about his holiday. Complaining about this, about that, about the other....on and on.I was about to point out how ungrateful he is and that perhaps he ought to think about how tough life is for so many people, but a friend stepped in fast and changed the subject.The thing is, he wouldn't recognise gratitude if it danced naked on the pub piano.A lack of gratitude in anyone is very unattractive. It's also boring. So, if ya want to make yourself, and those around you miserable, go ahead, be ungrateful. Its your choice.In the end though, it's the people who choose gratitude and recognise how lucky they are that will ultimately be happiest. And they're exactly the kind of folk who can start a movement, win people over, get others motivated, generate compassion and action, and help make a positive difference in all sorts of ways.(Reallygood Thinking: If something isn't how I want it to be, and I have power to do something about it, and it is worthwhile, I recognise I can stop complaining and change it! I'm grateful I have power to change many things whereas lots of people have very few options.)
I'd love to know if you find these ideas helpful, and if you have tips for being grateful and appreciating what blessings you have already.&nbsp; Hope to see you in the comments.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=24</link>
  <pubDate>Mon, 27 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Shift Happened.  Shift's Happening.  Shift Will Happen.  But it's all about conversation.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[
It's already begun.&nbsp; 
We are part of it.&nbsp; We can like it, or not.
Sometimes, we'll start a new topic and others will join us.&nbsp; Other times we'll hear something good's going on and we'll join in. 
That's conversation.&nbsp;
I love conversation.&nbsp; Making connections.&nbsp; Learning new stuff.&nbsp; Listening.&nbsp; Asking questions. Explaining how something I've discovered might help someone else.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Changing my mind about things cos someone's helped me see them in a different light.
Usually our conversations start small.
Just you and me.&nbsp; Then a friend joins in.
Sometimes we reach millions, when our idea gets passed from person to person, each starting their own conversation about our conversation.
We could start a movement where people give away everything they own to help others.&nbsp; Our conversation might lead to a riot.&nbsp; A revolution.&nbsp; Or a night on the town.
Perhaps the conversations we start will change the world.
In a small way.&nbsp; Or in a big way.
Shift Happens 2.0.

Earlier this week, I had a jolly nice couple of days with some smashing people at an event called Shift Happens 2.0.
It was in York in England and was put together by Marcus Romer and his team.&nbsp;&nbsp; Marcus is the Artistic Director of Pilot Theatre, the award winning national touring company based at York Theatre Royal.
The above picture is Marcus and I doing what I love best - conversation.&nbsp; We're chatting about the ideas everyone was exploring at Shift Happens 2.0, and how we can all be a part of, and shape, the big conversations spreading around our planet right now.
Once opon a time conversations were small, for all but a tiny number of powerful, well connected people.
The biggest gossip in the street could only spread stuff to a handful of neighbours.&nbsp; I know they could pass it on to a few more but that was still small change compared to what we can do now.&nbsp; All this amazing connectedness through digital gizmos means anyone who can get on to a computer really can have conversations with anyone else who can.
We no longer have to just sit and listen, be told what to read, watch, think or do.&nbsp; We have choices and our conversations don't have to be small.&nbsp; They have potential power to reshape a few things, or&nbsp;every thing.
We know things have changed.&nbsp; Shift Happens.
What does "Shift Happens" mean?
"Shift Happens" could mean so many things.&nbsp; For me, it's when big changes start in a situation, to a thing, to a person's behaviour, or in our ways of understanding the world.&nbsp; Few would argue against the idea that massive, irreversible global changes have begun to accelerate, affecting every area of life.
But it's digital technology enabled conversation that will really allow each of us to play a part in changing the game.
Now, we all have the chance to get our thoughts and ideas out to anyone who wants to listen.&nbsp; We can engage people.&nbsp; Find support.&nbsp; Help others.&nbsp; Gather together and demand change.&nbsp; Make things better. Or worse.
It's up to us.
The point is, conversation is all about people talking with each other.
At Shift Happens 2.0, the author Charlie Leadbeater, showed us that the emerging conversation is all about "thinking mutual".&nbsp; In other words, to be better able to make things happen, to get to "can", then it's all about "with".
I'd say&nbsp;we can't have a conversation alone...unless we're just a little bit crazy.
Here are some ideas about "with" that will help us in our conversational adventures toward "can". 
1)&nbsp; The conversation's started.&nbsp; People are already talking about us.
They're talking about how we care for our customers.&nbsp; How we teach English classes in school.&nbsp; They're discussing the way we bring up our kids.&nbsp; How we treat our friends, our family, our staff and co-workers, our competitors.&nbsp; We can't stop 'em talking.&nbsp; They've always done it. But now they've got the potentially to reach a much wider audience, who may also join the conversation.&nbsp; Shift Happens eh?
2)&nbsp; Conversation that everyone can join and spread means bull-crap that used to cover up bad stuff no longer works.
If we treat people badly, they can tell our customers, clients, friends, future mother-in-law, boss.&nbsp; No matter how good we think we are, if enough sources are saying we're crap, then perhaps the cap fits!&nbsp; Companies and organsiations that say they are one thing, yet their actions toward others and the environment suggest they are another, will soon find the conversation reveals the latter.&nbsp; Perhaps then they'll be forced to change cos Shift Happens.
Likewise, if enough sources are saying we're good....well, ya get the idea.
3)&nbsp; Listening's a great place to start.
When people see who we are and we hear what they think of us we might get a shock.&nbsp; But if we're OK with who we are then conversation's a great way to help change people's less than good thoughts about us.&nbsp; Gary Vaynerchuk at Wine Library TV is the master at listening to conversations about his business and personal impact.&nbsp; He then talks to people to address any criticisms.&nbsp; He almost always turns them round, and many become fans.
4)&nbsp; If we care enough to listen to people we will soon be listened to.
Dale Carnegie, author of "How to Win Friends and Influence People" said, "It's much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you".&nbsp; For most of us, that's almost always true, and it's not gonna change.&nbsp; Let's not try to do things the wrong way round.&nbsp; Listen.&nbsp; Care.&nbsp; Show interest first.
5)&nbsp; The most exciting part of these conversations though is what they can do for us and for others to make life better.
Shift Happens 2.0 helped us see all kinds of ways we can work together to cut through the rubbish, start conversations that matter, and help others do the same.&nbsp; Remember, when our conversation is focused on "thinking mutual", the "with" will soon lead to the "can".
Shift Happened.&nbsp; Shift's Happening.&nbsp; Shift Will Happen.&nbsp; The conversation's already started.&nbsp; Who do we want to talk with and where shall we take each other?
I'd love to know if you find these ideas helpful, and if you have tips for starting conversation and connecting.&nbsp;&nbsp;Hope to see you in the comments.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=22</link>
  <pubDate>Sat, 4 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS22</guid>
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  <title>I'm well glad I found Gladwell. Or, how to turn frustration into action.</title>
  <description><![CDATA[image credit:&nbsp; nj dodge
I was rushing about the other day, busy trying to meet three deadlines that, like people turning up unexpectedly for tea, all seem to come at once.&nbsp; So I stopped for a moment to take a breather, looked in a bookshop window and there was Malcom Gladwell's "Outliers".&nbsp; Half price.&nbsp; Fantastic.&nbsp; 
When my deadlines where met,&nbsp; I sat in a sunny spot and started reading.&nbsp; 
Opening the book, the first idea to hit me had nothing to do with Mr. Gladwell's writing.&nbsp; No, it was the stuff printed on the last page, a little introduction to the story behind Penguin, the book's publisher.&nbsp;
Not everyone can see what we see. 
You know when you have a passion for something?&nbsp; When you can see how that thing would benefit or interest others?&nbsp; How it could help make things quicker, easier, more sustainable, less expensive, kinder, just better?&nbsp; Then, you look at the people already doing that thing or similar, what they provide, how they provide it, what value they give?&nbsp;
You approach them with your idea. You show them the possibilities. You help them see how your passions, talents, and ideas could improve things for everyone.&nbsp;
It’s a no-brainer.&nbsp; Everyone could win.
But those people just don't get it!&nbsp; Or, they say they do, then they ignore you and keep things as they are.&nbsp; &nbsp;A few weeks ago someone I've worked with before asked for ideas to help a tired media project, which I believe still has massive potential, if done right.&nbsp; I suggested some things, based on my experience and feedback from people in the know, that would be killer moves.&nbsp; But no one's yet bothered to come back to me.&nbsp; I've been watching their project.&nbsp; They're doing the same old things and they're going down.
Does that make you frustrated?&nbsp; It does me! - but only if we let it!&nbsp;
When you care about something and think you can make a great contribution to a win-win arrangement, it can be frustrating when the decision makers don't accept your help, don't let you work with them, shut you out.
You can see how helping them could open up possibilities for everyone, but they're simply not going for it.&nbsp;Just before I picked up Outliers, I was feeling a bit sad&nbsp;those former colleagues hadn't taken me up on my unbelievably good, extraordinarily generous offer of help.&nbsp; I'd love to be a part of the things they're doing, but only if they let me help them craft it into something I think people actually want, something that's good value, that matters.&nbsp; I haven't yet got the resources to build a system like theirs, but if I did, I'm sure I could make it work much better than it is at the moment.
Like me, I bet you have ideas about how your strengths and talents could help others, if only they'd give you a chance to work with them on their project.
But we don't need them to give us a chance!
Allen Lane was waiting for a train and wanted a decent book to read.&nbsp; That was back in 1935 and all he could find were the same old popular magazines and poor quality paperbacks - the same choice faced each day by most readers, except for a tiny number who could afford hardbacks.&nbsp;&nbsp; But the publisher's disappointment and frustration soon turned to action, and led him to found a company - Penguin Books.
The low cost, widely available, quality paperback had arrived, and would change the world of books.
Lane didn't rely on getting the approval of an existing publisher.&nbsp; He set up his own thing to realise his vision for low cost paperbacks.
I'm not saying setting up a new company or project or organisation is always the best thing to do, but sometimes we just need to stop seeking approval, and go and make something new happen.
That's why I'm well glad I stumbled upon Gladwell!&nbsp; Sometimes, we just need a little inspiration.
I'm&nbsp;enjoying reading Outliers, but I'm glad I spotted that little page about Penguin, tucked away right at the back, cos it was just the&nbsp;reminder I needed.&nbsp;So if you're feeling a bit frustrated that people you think could benefit from your good ideas just aren't getting it, these tips will&nbsp;help you as they help me:

Believe there are many ways we could make our ideas come alive, not just through the particular thing that's grabbed our attention just now.&nbsp; More options are almost always just a few thoughts away. 
Remember that through the global technology and communications revolution gathering pace right now, we're probably better placed today, than at any other time in history, to find amazing people to work with to make our visions, and theirs, come true. 
It is unlikely one person or organisation is ever our only option.&nbsp; Sometimes it feels that way, and I've thought I've been there so many times.&nbsp; But there are many people/projects/organisations that could be just what we need. 
Lets tell ourselves often, that almost all great ideas/talents/possibilities were initially rejected, so why should our stuff be any different?&nbsp; Sometimes we just have to take Dan Pink's word for it: "persistence trumps talent". 
Build up resources we can use (blogs, books, videos, people, conferences) to give ourselves an inspirational boost when we need one i.e. when things are hard.&nbsp; The more we keep our mind on the fact that others, many of whom faced greater obstacles that us, eventually pushed through and made good stuff happen, the more productive we'll be. 
Much of what we think is massively frustrating and important right now won't matter in a year. 
Put things into a much bigger picture.&nbsp; If we want to help build a better, more sustainable world, then we are part of something much bigger than just the immediate project or idea we want to make happen right now.&nbsp; Have a sense of meaning and purpose and let's do our best to give things their proper perspective.
I'd love to know if you find these ideas helpful, and if you have particular things that help you move out of frustration, and into action.&nbsp; Hope to see you in the comments.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=20</link>
  <pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Being in the Now......Now!</title>
  <description><![CDATA[I saw a cartoon in a magazine that made me laugh out loud…..not a bad way to wake up everyone else in the dentist’s waiting room eh? It showed a typical office worker in three different situations:&nbsp; at his desk at work, playing golf, and in bed having sex.&nbsp; &nbsp;What’s so funny about that then?&nbsp; Well nothing……but I haven’t finished yet! &nbsp;Anyway, when the chap was in the office, he was thinking about playing golf.&nbsp; When he was playing golf, he was thinking about having sex.&nbsp; And when he was having sex, he was thinking about being at work!&nbsp;OK, so the humour’s kinda lost in translation but you get the point?&nbsp; Come on, stick with me! &nbsp;The thing is, if you look back over your day, even just the last hour, how much of that time were you thinking about stuff that had nothing to do with what you were actually doing at the time?&nbsp; You were miles away.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Sure we all do it, but I guess it means we are missing something somewhere.&nbsp; Actually, I think what it really means is that we are probably missing a lot, almost everywhere and almost all the time.&nbsp;So, if we are going to really make the most of the life we have, and not “wake up” somewhere toward the end wondering where the hell it went, then I guess we’d better try and find a way to live in the moment….now!
&nbsp;
I'd love to know if you find this stuff helpful,&nbsp;and if there are tips you can pass on to help us make the most of now.&nbsp; See you&nbsp;in the comments.]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=19</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS19</guid>
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  <title>Stop Being an Extra in Other People's Movies</title>
  <description><![CDATA[Photo courtesy of Cayusa
This is the fantastic subtitle of a book called “Dare to be Yourself” by Alan Cohen.
Just think about it for a moment: Stop being an extra….in other people’s movies! Think about it a bit more. I'm learning what it means for me….. but what does it mean for you?
Enough about you, more about me. 
Not long ago, if you wanted to be a journalist, as I did for example, your options were pretty limited almost exclusively in mainstream media: local newspapers and radio.&nbsp; A minuscule number of journalists would land a job on one of the nationals or in telly. 
It took me ages to get paid work at the BBC, and even long after I got a contract, it was still mostly about fitting into the bigger picture of what the organisation expected from you, much the same as any other job with a conventionally structured company.&nbsp; Later, when I became an independent journalist and producer, I still had to work hard to get ideas and projects approved by "mainstream" broadcasters.&nbsp; There were few other possibilities for getting your stories out to a wide audience.
Course, these difficulties weren't limited to working in the media, it was similar for many careers and business settings where just a few organisations held the power.
Here's the good news, in case you hadn't heard
A revolution's started, and its picking up momentum. Thanks to global digital technology and the potential for everyone to connect with everyone else. We can now decide what "movie" we want to be in, and create it for ourselves.
Yes, even if we've a full-time job and a role to play in someone else's epic, we can still make our own "movie" at the weekend, or after work, or before breakfast.
For almost anything we want to do, we can connect with others, find ideas, partners, nuts and bolts, bits of kit, customers, a few quid, and start making it happen.&nbsp; We no longer need the approval of a few privileged people, organisations, or gate keepers.&nbsp; Now, we can create our own tribe!
We can find and work with talented people, tell the story how we believe it should be told, and do things much more in keeping with our own values and goals.&nbsp; We can find people who care about similar things and make stuff for them too.
Maybe we're being an "extra in other people's movies" outside our work too. Why?
Sometimes, we've no choice. Sometimes things are tough for all kinds of reasons outside our control.
But other times the choice is entirely ours.
Some ideas that can help us "dare to be ourselves"

Know the difference between what we can change and what we can't.&nbsp; Take time to figure it out and be honest about what you find.&nbsp; 
Accept that sometimes we are all "extras in someone else's movie" and that at this time, it might be exactly the right place to be.&nbsp; Just get on with it and help people make good stuff happen.&nbsp; 
Really, no one is ever an "extra".&nbsp; If there's a job to be done and it matters, our role is important, big or small.&nbsp; And if the job doesn't matter, stop doing it!&nbsp; 
If there's good reason to believe your ideas are valuable to people, others will also begin to see that value if you have a good attitude, and they'll want to join you in making it happen.&nbsp; 
If you feel you are in a mess, a difficult situation, think how long it took for things to get that way.&nbsp; Current circumstances are often a product of lots of little wrong decisions or actions adding up.&nbsp; To reverse the process, and escape those difficulties, perhaps we need to start different, small actions, that will add up to creating a better scenario.&nbsp; Or maybe we do need to take one big step that totally changes the whole thing.&nbsp; It takes careful thought to decide what's best.&nbsp; 
Put things into proper perspective.&nbsp; Maybe we could focus on the good that comes from our current "extra in other people's movies" status; learning, inside information, contacts, how not to do something, the list goes on!&nbsp; 
We can still be true to ourselves and be genuine, even if current circumstance mean we have little option to express every facet of our wonderful personalities.&nbsp; Remember, many people on our planet will never get the opportunity to realise even a tiny aspect of their potential.&nbsp; So many of us here are very fortunate indeed.
I'd love to know if you find these points helpful, and if you have particular things that help you get closer to doing the things that matter most, despite limitations.&nbsp; Hope to see you in the comments. ]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=18</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
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  <title>Give people an 'A' and step into a world of possibilities    </title>
  <description><![CDATA[Photo courtesy of *zara
I’m just back from one of those ”thanks for doing business with us" type drinks events. 
I went cos

I like the person who invited me. 
Some interesting folks were likely to be there. 
I love meeting new people, listening, learning, finding stories and ideas for my work, and most importantly, 
having a fresh audience for my own adventure tales! 
So I chatted to people I known and like. We had a drink and a couple of funny looking nibbles. Very enjoyable. So far so good. 
Then they went and spoiled it all by saying something stupid like “have you met so and so?”...then we were introduced. 
Your gut reaction tells you the way to go.
Now for most of us, there are usually two possibilities. Which one we go with is determined almost instantaneously. Our gut tells us we like the person and we’re gonna try and have a worthwhile conversation. Or, we decide not to bother, and do our best to escape.
There’s a third option called “possibility thinking”. 
But what if we make one specific decision before we even get in the building?
What if we decide to give everyone an “A” for being a top person BEFORE we even meet them? What if we chose to believe, no matter how our gut reacted on the first introduction, that on these sorts of occasions, everyone is automatically on our “A-list”? That way, when we’re introduced, we’re pre-programmed to look for the best.
What might happen? Could this transform our interaction with people? Might we give ourselves a better shot at uncovering something interesting that we may otherwise miss?
This is practical stuff. No matter what the outcome, everyone will get more out of the interaction if we choose a positive mindset to begin with. 
I got this from a Zander.
The idea of giving people an “A” came from the brilliantly inspirational Benjamin Zander. He’s the conductor and teacher who co-wrote a book called “The Art of Possibility". He uses the concept to coax his music students into believing better things of themselves. I see no reason why it shouldn’t work in all settings. 
It boils down to expecting good things from people and circumstances. Such expectations set the tone for more positive outcomes than if we leave things to chance.It means, for our example, ignoring initial “gut” reactions about whether we want to make an effort with people, and making an effort anyway.
But don’t spend too much time waiting for your cat to bark!
Giving people an “A” really can pay big dividends. It has worked for me. If I don’t feel an immediate connection, I carry on a bit longer. Taking time to ask a few more questions, to listen a bit more, to try and find mutually interesting stuff. It’s worth the time.
The thing is, we also have to work out when its time to stop. We have to accept that it might not happen. Some people may never give us what we crave from human interaction. 
Maybe that cat can never bark.
But lets still be thankful.
There are billions of people in the world. We’ll each meet thousands in a lifetime. By starting with an ”A”, its very likely there’ll be times we push through and uncover people gems that will make us, and them, all the richer.
T'would be lovely to know if you found this points helpful, and if you have particular things that help you benefit from or help the people you meet, despite not feeling an immediate warmth or attraction.&nbsp; Hope to see you in the comments. ]]></description>
  <link>http://www.reallygoodthinking.com/news_more.asp?news_id=17</link>
  <pubDate>Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <guid isPermaLink="false">NEWS17</guid>
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